"Weasel Words" du Jour

I did get your point. I knew you meant words we use to describe things. And I did say gentleness of expression was a good thing. I just don't see the need to resort to - I don't know - "squishynessing" the cards with words that skate around the edges of what we see.
But you may still have a paying audience - I do not, by choice, and those who come to see me for readings know me. So it may be different. Also, different approaches for different readers, ye ken? As long as the true message is being relayed, it's all good, right? I mean, you can paint a black chair white, but in the end, it is still a chair.

@Prudence, wow, what a bad experience for your friends! I can see how that would have troubled you afterwards.

Kalisti said:

I read the cards to a sitter the way they speak to me. Sometimes the cards are more definitive than others...I will interpret them as absolute when they don't show me any other way. Have you ever pulled a card and felt like it smacked you in the face? I won't sugar coat those or leave it open ended. But sometimes a card is pulled that seems to be more coy. Sometimes all of the cards are more or less ambiguous, with only hints of possibility, or they seem to suggest other issues are more important at the time than the one the sitter asked about.

The sitter is important, too. I have a couple of close friends I read for regularly. One of them always wants the real, hard truth. The other is extremely easily discouraged...unless the cards are issuing a stern warning, I will be gentle with her. Online, like on here, the sitter has less impact on how I interpret them because I have zero bias and assume that the querent has a decent understanding of tarot and how it works already.

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No matter how blunt they are, I try to handle the message in an even-handed manner. Case in point: I did a reading for a man on Sunday who didn't give me any idea of his area of interest. He got the 10 of Swords as the outcome card and two other Tens earlier in the spread. I pointed out that Tens usually show "endings," and the 10 of Swords suggests a "scorched earth" scenario, but also the possibility of a "new day dawning over the desolation." Judgement right before the 10 of Swords reinforced the idea of self-renewal following a literal "dead-end." It turned out that his wife of 29 years had just divorced him, so "endings" are what his life is presently all about. The resurrection shown by Judgement and the 10 of Swords as the seed-state for a new beginning gave him hope.

DDwarks said:

It's worth noting that I'm a Queen of Swords and that I live in an Autistic household!

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- I can just imagine that.

Barleywine said:

Seems to me anything that starts with a qualifier and not a simple declarative is skirting the borders of "weasel-dom." There might also be sound legal reasons for doing it. If I tell John "You're going to win the lottery this week" and John goes out and buys a million-dollar home on credit, he might have legal recourse against me. If I say "This card suggests that fortune is turning your way," John might make a less risky move.

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Agreed.

I do the "this card makes me think or feel" thing that Padma outlines.
Then from the interactive discussion, when it's obvious to me that the sitter is themselves "avoiding the truth of what they need to do" - I'll be direct, whilst still leaving them "wiggle room" in the form of "what do you think about that? - d'you think that's for you right now or not?" etc.

Barleywine said:

No matter how blunt they are, I try to handle the message in an even-handed manner. Case in point: I did a reading for a man on Sunday who didn't give me any idea of his area of interest. He got the 10 of Swords as the outcome card and two other Tens earlier in the spread. I pointed out that Tens usually show "endings," and the 10 of Swords suggests a "scorched earth" scenario, but also the possibility of a "new day dawning over the desolation." Judgement right before the 10 of Swords reinforced the idea of self-renewal following a literal "dead-end." It turned out that his wife of 29 years had just divorced him, so "endings" are what his life is presently all about. The resurrection shown by Judgement and the 10 of Swords as the seed-state for a new beginning gave him hope.

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Well, I'm certainly not going to send someone into a panic, lol. Even with the darker cards--even if you get all "negative" cards--the point of tarot is to take the information and turn it into a path for reflection and ideas for propelling forward rather than passively languishing and stressing. I drew The Tower for a friend this past summer in a general Celtic Cross reading, for the "Your House (Environment)" position...rather than tell her everything I was sensing off of it and other cards elsewhere (which was pretty bad) I let her know to be vigilant and not let anything that needed repair to go unreported to her landlady and to be prepared for potential "compromises" with her roommate. I use the term "compromises" real loosely here. Well now the Tower has revealed itself threefold and she's dealing with it quite better than I would. If I would have told her what I was really expecting out of that card, though, it would have just added unnecessary stress. All of those things that are happening with it are out of her control, after all, and the good news is that she isn't bound by a mortgage.

But at the same time, I wasn't going to tell her that it would all have a happy ending, because none of them pointed toward one. Instead, I encouraged her to be cautious and to be ready to make some decisions.

This topic takes on a different quality in light of the US president-elect's frequent declarations of certainties--strong predictions--without hesitation, qualification, or evidence. Just because he wants to say it strongly, based on his feeling, or what he hopes the audience will feel when they hear it. I have never hear someone declare so confidently, and so frequently, that he knows exactly what is going on and exactly what will happen, "believe me, folks."

The most certain and unequivocal fortune-telling I've heard of was generally followed by an offer to remove the curse or provide a special candle, cost around $400.

In short, straightforward declarations often carry the stink of a con.

And too, many people don't feel control in their lives. For people who are stuck, or not convinced of their own free will, phrasing the message as possibilities and opportunities and options reinforces their responsibility to deal with their environment intelligently. In other words, those "weasel words," (a term I loathe) are empowering.

Kalisti said:

Well, I'm certainly not going to send someone into a panic, lol. Even with the darker cards--even if you get all "negative" cards--the point of tarot is to take the information and turn it into a path for reflection and ideas for propelling forward rather than passively languishing and stressing. I drew The Tower for a friend this past summer in a general Celtic Cross reading, for the "Your House (Environment)" position...rather than tell her everything I was sensing off of it and other cards elsewhere (which was pretty bad) I let her know to be vigilant and not let anything that needed repair to go unreported to her landlady and to be prepared for potential "compromises" with her roommate. I use the term "compromises" real loosely here. Well now the Tower has revealed itself threefold and she's dealing with it quite better than I would. If I would have told her what I was really expecting out of that card, though, it would have just added unnecessary stress. All of those things that are happening with it are out of her control, after all, and the good news is that she isn't bound by a mortgage.

But at the same time, I wasn't going to tell her that it would all have a happy ending, because none of them pointed toward one. Instead, I encouraged her to be cautious and to be ready to make some decisions.

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I have a similar story. I had a sitter who was worried about her son, whom she thought was trying to manipulate her. He showed up as the Page of Cups, which can indicate an "actor" who can put on any face or mask he likes. It was followed by more Cups reversed, and ended with the Tower. She asked whether the reversed Cups could show that he's trying to make his situation look worse than it is (which I took to mean she thinks he's trying to take advantage of their emotional connection). I told her it wouldn't be surprising if that is in fact his goal. The Tower I interpreted as showing that the whole facade could come crashing down, which would in fact be a relief for her (and a problem for him).

prudence said:

They were such a positive, happy go lucky family, travelers and adventurers. Things changed quite a lot after this wreck. I still feel guilty for not shouting out at them to I don't know, be careful, don't take the trip, take a different route....I'll never know. If I had just read further on what that death card meant for them, maybe I could have steered them clear.

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What an incredibly sad experience, and such a painful burden to carry on your shoulders. Even if your intuition had been more forcefully delivered, though, and preventative steps thus taken, some kind of fatal incident might still have taken place at that time; it may actually have been a fated event, meant to be endured by the unfortunate people involved, rather than avoided. Hopefully you can find some comfort in this possibility.

I have downplayed and even completely dismissed "warning" impressions that later proved accurate, and the resulting guilt/regret makes me more likely to share them now. It can be especially hard to quiet protective impulses, but I'm also not comfortable seeking out or taking on too much responsibility for others via Tarot (or astrology)... People seem to operate on auto-pilot to a great extent, besides, so even the clearest, most accurate and well-intentioned readings potentially meet deaf ears; it's when "something" within us is ready to hear a certain message that we do, and (maybe) then proceed accordingly. Some things are apparently predestined in this way, as well.

Interesting discussion!

I have only done a handful of readings for other people and I'm not yet confident enough in my ability to interpret cards with a high degree of accuracy so I do rely on weasel words.

I'm a career civil servant very used to writing briefings and 'lines to take' and I have deployed every possible variation of the non-committal weasel word dictionary. Some qualifiers are deliberately obfuscating, useful when you wish to sound as though you are saying something of substance but in reality need to say nothing at all that anyone can latch any meaning onto.

In readings, phrases that fall into this category for me would be things like "it would appear from these cards that there are indications of potential possibilities for something significant to happen at some point in the medium term". Completely meaningless. I try not to use "implies" and "suggests" either as these are so tentative they border on pointless. I think I try and talk about what the cards "signal" and also talk to the sitter about possible interpretations in relation to other cards.

I do get the sense from my very limited experience that sitters do expect a level of commitment from the reader to a viewpoint or interpretation in a reading, even if this is qualified with a "this is what I see". think it is hard balance to strike to commit yourself to an interpretation without promising them firm outcomes. Language is important, and how we articulate the answers will surely depend on the sitter, their expectations, their ability to grasp the interpretative nature of Tarot reading etc.

Sent from my D6603 using Tapatalk

Now see, this is a perfectly normal way to communicate and yet it is full of equivocation!

CharlotteK said:

I do get the sense from my very limited experience that sitters do expect a level of commitment from the reader to a viewpoint or interpretation in a reading, even if this is qualified with a "this is what I see".

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"get the sense...my very limited experience...sitters expect...even if..."

My point is, the use of qualifiers is normal and generally appropriate in everyday life, so why not in tarot readings?

Barleywine said:

She asked whether the reversed Cups could show that he's trying to make his situation look worse than it is (which I took to mean she thinks he's trying to take advantage of their emotional connection). I told her it wouldn't be surprising if that is in fact his goal.

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Weasel words!