Question from a newbie ....

I don't think of tarot in terms of gender. I feel its a tool that has many facets or perhaps personalities if you will. I also use my decks to communicate with deity so I feel like perhaps it takes on the essence of the given deity I'm working with at the time.

I think that everyone probably thinks of their decks differently and however you think of it is what suits you. However for writing on a blog I'm sure there would be quite a few people upset over you referring to your decks or tarot as "she" because so many people can get bent out of shape over anything that's not recognizing all genders and sexualities. I think when it comes to your personal tools and belongings though it should be your choice on how to refer to it. I agree with the person who mentioned writing a permanent background post on how you view and feel about tarot and your decks. I think it'd be a good idea and if anyone had any qualms or was crying foul over you using a gender you could link them to the post and ask them to respect your views.

I don't think referring to the tarot as she is disrespectful to your deck unless its a male oriented deck. And even then its still your choice and your tools. ^^ best of luck with your blogging!

I think that the grammatically correct pronoun to refer to the Tarot would be "it".

However, that aside, you're free to think of the Tarot in any way you want. If it helps you to think of the Tarot as a girl you're friends with and talk to your problems about? By all means do it. I don't believe that can be offensive, it strikes me as weird thing to be offended about, unless you were using stereotypes associated with that gender or making other prejudiced remarks in that way.

If I saw you refer to "her" on a blog, I wouldn't let it stop me from reading the blog if I enjoyed the contents. I'd probably wonder about it a bit but a number of explanations would come to mind. My first thought would be that you were associating your deck with a specific personality, a bit like here on the forum so many people may say a deck is very "direct" or "nice". I'd also think about whether your first language was something other than English, since in some languages words like "Tarot" are gendered.

The only negative thing that would cross my mind was that it could be some sort of New Age-y fluff. In that case, it probably still wouldn't put me off your blog if I enjoyed the content and I'd respect your hypothetical New Age-y beliefs.

If you're concerned, you could always post a small snippet on the sidebar of your blog, like someone already suggested. I like that idea because I think it could actually be a neat personal touch.

Phebe Griffiths said:

Hello everyone

This may sound like such a silly question so I hope everyone will forgive me but I just wonder how you refer to the Tarot in terms of gender, or don't you think of it in those terms at all?

I just realised today that I always think of the Tarot as 'she' and I think of 'consulting her' when I have an issue or dilemma that I am seeking help and guidance with. Over the years I have come to think of the Tarot as being like a close, female friend, who I can ask about anything, talk about anything and be totally open and honest with.

I wondered today if I was being disrepectful in any way in using 'she/her', and whether it might offend anyone? The reason I ask is that I am thinking of starting a Tarot blog (in the planning stage only at the moment) and have been jotting things down - and for the first time I have seen in 'on paper' as it were how I refer to the Tarot as 'her'.

Any thoughts and observations from members here would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

Phebe
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There are never any silly questions when it comes to Tarot. We, each and every one of us, start off knowing nothing about it and we learn by reading and asking questions. That is why AT is here, for asking questions. It's a learning forum

That being said, to answer your question...I don't personally think of Tarot in terms of gender. I don't personally think of it as consulting her or him. There is nothing wrong with doing that if that is how it feels to you, but I have never done that or heard of it before. But again there is nothing wrong with doing it if that is how it feels to you. In Tarot we, each of us, need to follow our heart and soul to find the best way for us.

That being said, maybe it's a cultural thing, where in one country people tend to view it that way more than in another of if your first language was not English, but a language that has masculine and feminine nouns?

It is not going to offend anyone to call Tarot a he or a she. If you are purposely being disrespectful with the cards that is another story. But that is not the case here.

The way I personally view it, when I do a reading I am not talking to Tarot, but talking to my angels and spirit guides who are answering me using the tool called Tarot. That is my personal belief. Since I do not know which angel or spirit guide is talking to me each time I do not know what gender they may have or even if they have one at all. So that is why I don't see it in those terms. I just ask them the questions and they send me the right cards to give me the answers they want to tell me.

That is my view of it anyway, other people will have different opinions on all this.

Babs

Phebe Griffiths said:

Thanks for your reply Lilianne.

That's interesting. I always used to think of the Tarot as 'it' but somewhere along the line I've slipped into thinking of it as 'her'. Never even realised I was doing it until I read back through my notes yesterday.

I definitely don't think of the Tarot as an extension of myself and find that idea really, really interesting. You've given me some real food for thought there.

For me it's a case of 'I'll go and ask her'. When and how I started thinking of the Tarot as 'female' I have absolutely no idea.

I think it's probably something I'll try and avoid in my writing from now on.

Thanks once again.


Phebe
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Funny, I don't think I would say I'll go ask her/him/or it. I would just say to myself I will go ask the cards.

Besides all that, please do not think or feel that you should stop doing something in Tarot because you see others do it differently. There is no right or wrong way. But Tarot is very much about following your intuition. And if it feels natural to you to call Tarot a her, then feel free to follow what feels right to you

Babs

Phebe Griffiths said:

This may sound like such a silly question so I hope everyone will forgive me but I just wonder how you refer to the Tarot in terms of gender, or don't you think of it in those terms at all?

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Tarot overall just as "it", but we have had more than one discussion here in the past about how different individual decks might seem to have different genders.

Bottom line...you do what is comfortable in how you develop a relationship with your cards. Everything else is secondary.

Phebe Griffiths said:

Hello everyone

This may sound like such a silly question so I hope everyone will forgive me but I just wonder how you refer to the Tarot in terms of gender, or don't you think of it in those terms at all?...
Over the years I have come to think of the Tarot as being like a close, female friend, who I can ask about anything, talk about anything and be totally open and honest with..

Phebe
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Hi Phebe. Great question. We're happy you joined us here at AT!

I too consider my decks of cards friends. I have bonded with some way more than others. I also consider them tools where Spirit shares wisdom thru the symbols that pop for that reading. The decks often do have a male / female feel, but I don't think of them as a gender, or an "it" either. To call them an "it" feels weird to me personally... For some reason, that movie "It" with the clown is popping in my head!!

I am like Babs. I always call them "the cards".
"What question do you have for the cards?"
"The cards seem to be showing you xyz"
"Let's see what advise the cards recommend."
"I'll grab my cards and see what they have to say."
Oh, look, they are a "they"... but never a "her, him or it" in my world. Interesting!

SunChariot said:

Funny, I don't think I would say I'll go ask her/him/or it. I would just say to myself I will go ask the cards.
Babs

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I call them the cards although l treat them all as my knowledgeable friends.

Universal Student said:

Bottom line...you do what is comfortable in how you develop a relationship with your cards. Everything else is secondary.

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Exactly!

Babs

Pam O said:

Hi Phebe. Great question. We're happy you joined us here at AT!

I too consider my decks of cards friends. I have bonded with some way more than others. I also consider them tools where Spirit shares wisdom thru the symbols that pop for that reading. The decks often do have a male / female feel, but I don't think of them as a gender, and never an "it" either. To call them an "it" feels super weird to me personally... For some reason, that movie "It" with the clown is popping in my head!!

I am like Babs. I always call them "the cards".
"What question do you have for the cards?"
"The cards seem to be showing you xyz"
"Let's see what advise the cards recommend."
"I'll grab my cards and see what they have to say."
Oh, look, they are a "they"... but never a "her, him or it" in my world. Interesting!

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I didn't realize that till you said it, but me too! I would also say "I'll grab the cards and see what they have to say." That's kind of interesting actually since in reality I don't think I am talking to the cards at all but to something else that is using the cards to answer. Hmmmm.

Never noticed that before. Seems to be a habit I got into without thinking. But I don't actually see them as hes shes. Technically I guess more of an it. As its a tool. But it would feel disrespectful.to mevto call Tarot sn it. To me it's ba tool. But s divine tool, almost a sacred tool.

Babs