5 of Wands in a relationship

[Sobekneferu]

Hi everyone,

I've been trying out a few different spreads and approaches toward learning a bit more about a certain relationship, currently not romantic in nature though my inquiries are about changes in that, and the 5 of Wands keeps coming up in the readings, usually in important spots. On my Rider-Waite deck, the image is of a bunch of boys (play-) fighting with sticks. My booklet isn't improving matters at all; the interpretation it offers just confuses me more.

One possibility is perhaps something about love or flirting as a game, though there doesn't even seem to be agreement on whether it is a play-fight being portrayed on the card or not. Another, based on the American Tarot Association's page, implies it might be something about the odds being against one or being outnumbered. Another, based on what the equivelent playing card suggests, is it is about new alliances and friends.

So, what would the folks here incline to say about it? Alas, I didn't write down any of the full spreads, though to me they sounded generally good even if they say the fellow seems to think I am some kind of gold-digger...

 

[nickslan]

Most of the meanings I use don't make much sense for a relationship, but here's one that might work: needless competition- two or more people all want the same thing but insist on going about it in different ways. As a result there is needless competition and wasted energy, and in fact they might not even know that they all actually share a common goal.

It's possible that both parties want the same thing out of the relationship but are clashing in terms of how to accomplish that. Or maybe you both want the relationship to become romantic but it doesn't seem to be working out because you're trying to get there through different routes. Do either of those things start to move towards more familiar topics?

 

[The crowned one]

Well as a card it is about short term problems. Competition....and that runs the gauntlet from friendly to mean. But generally speaking I feel the five of wands is about silly things. A well married husband and wife arguing over whether to get a new leather couch or go on a little cruise. It seems serious at the time but when you buy the couch or go on the cruise no mater your chosen side, it is over. Then you can see their side and enjoy the results of the "argument"

To me historically five is the first true abstract number and the first number to represent problems whether good or bad. One is me , two is you, three is us, four is a foundation, something you build and those you know as a concept...not a representation, five is the abstract concept of "more". It did not become valuable as a number until we had excess

 

[Sobekneferu]

To me historically five is the first true abstract number and the first number to represent problems whether good or bad. One is me , two is you, three is us, four is a foundation, something you build and those you know as a concept...not a representation, five is the abstract concept of "more". It did not become valuable as a number until we had excess

Well, historically 5 is an important number in all cultures because of a simple fact... well... just look at your hands and count how many fingers are on each. The fact that even when the system of Arabic numbers is't used, 10s are always divided into a new section, comes from how that's when you run out of fingers to count with at a time. In fact, the words "five" and "finger" come from the same Indo-European root.

Anyway, though, back to the cards... I do kind of feel like the sincerity of the fight going on effects the interpretation of the card greatly, though yours is a good way of kind of merging the two ideas of a fight and a kids game.

 

[BLFO]

Beatings. I got this for romance last year. What happened is the guy I liked gave me a love tap. More like when I walked by, he punched me in the arm and smiled while blushing. LOL Like a little boy hitting on a girl because he likes her.

Perhaps, a few love interest competing for a person due to jealousy, one thinking that the other will win over the person they desire.

 

[star-lover]

not a bad card at all - goal posts are forever changing - both people keep the other guessing and on their toes - i think the pair work together on a shared goal but maybe in different ways - they never bore each other - both want to win but because they have met each other's match it keeps being exciting

i agree the negative has to be watched out for - egos competing and losing sight of their shared stuff in the relationship

overall i have found this a fun flirty card

just my 2 cents

 

[crazy raven]

Hi everyone,

I've been trying out a few different spreads and approaches toward learning a bit more about a certain relationship, currently not romantic in nature though my inquiries are about changes in that, and the 5 of Wands keeps coming up in the readings, usually in important spots. On my Rider-Waite deck, the image is of a bunch of boys (play-) fighting with sticks. My booklet isn't improving matters at all; the interpretation it offers just confuses me more.

One possibility is perhaps something about love or flirting as a game, though there doesn't even seem to be agreement on whether it is a play-fight being portrayed on the card or not. Another, based on the American Tarot Association's page, implies it might be something about the odds being against one or being outnumbered. Another, based on what the equivelent playing card suggests, is it is about new alliances and friends.

So, what would the folks here incline to say about it? Alas, I didn't write down any of the full spreads, though to me they sounded generally good even if they say the fellow seems to think I am some kind of gold-digger...

Could it be that your relationship has flourished through trial and error and the effect each of you have on one another? The Five of Wands could be different aspects of the SELF (you and him) learning and adapting to one another. Maybe This friendship has enabled you to change your outward appearance and your inner attitudes. It has at times been a struggle but your ability to adapt brought you closer together. This also could have given you the ability to be all things to all people and to fit in, very naturally, to any situation.

The Five of Wands is so filled with sudden and unusual events and opportunities that you could easily become confused by it, or afraid of it.

I wonder if the Five of Wands could be afraid of making mistakes or taking the plunge, that, instead of flowing confidently with this unpredictable energy, 'they' (your or significant other) cling to the safe and familiar with all their might. Although they can see and feel the excitement that is passing them by at every moment, they are too afraid to let go, take the plunge, and see where life or this relationship takes them.

I also think that the Five of wANDS cannot survive in a relationship of rules, insecurity, dominance, or mistrust. And with this card, one may have a difficult time in understanding their "role" in a relationship, and this creates a problem in itself. The role could simply to be who you are.

 

[Bronwyn1]

I wonder if the Five of Wands could be afraid of making mistakes or taking the plunge, that, instead of flowing confidently with this unpredictable energy, 'they' (your or significant other) cling to the safe and familiar with all their might. Although they can see and feel the excitement that is passing them by at every moment, they are too afraid to let go, take the plunge, and see where life or this relationship takes them.

Whoa!! Thank-you. Now I understand why I keep getting this card in relation to a certain "someone". Makes a lot of sense. A lot of misdirected energy for sure.

 

[starrystarrynight]

In a relationship, it could denote an internal struggle--one trying to find the right thing that will work to make the other take notice. It could be brainstorming with the other to come up with a working solution for whatever the situation. It could also indicate that you have competition from others for this person's attention.

Since it comes after the four (of wands) that signifies a pause in the action of some sort--often to celebrate getting to a certain point (a marriage, for instance, which ends the dating stage)--the five is that jarring point where change takes place. Competition of a new sort begins with the five and can either shake things up or work to strengthen the relationship.

This five could be flirtation, as you said...or it could be more sinister, as in some sort of power struggle.

But for a reading, it would depend on the cards around it to tell you what it means in that context.

 

[Sobekneferu]

In a relationship, it could denote an internal struggle--one trying to find the right thing that will work to make the other take notice. It could be brainstorming with the other to come up with a working solution for whatever the situation. It could also indicate that you have competition from others for this person's attention.

Since it comes after the four (of wands) that signifies a pause in the action of some sort--often to celebrate getting to a certain point (a marriage, for instance, which ends the dating stage)--the five is that jarring point where change takes place. Competition of a new sort begins with the five and can either shake things up or work to strengthen the relationship.

This five could be flirtation, as you said...or it could be more sinister, as in some sort of power struggle.

But for a reading, it would depend on the cards around it to tell you what it means in that context.

I was actually going to post to say I may have found the answer, and it was indeed something similar.

I did a regular old Celtic Cross using the 5 of Wands as the significator. The second card (crossing it -- representing obstacles) was the Nine of Wands, indicating indeed, there is a bit of power struggle and no one is willing to budge.

That said, the reading there also indicated the eventual outcome will be favorable to a relationship. Perhaps the boys and their play fighting is in it afterall -- boys will be boys, they just like their violent little games, it's their way, doesn't mean they don't like each other, et cetera.