Excellent!
Oh..!
I suppose I'm even better at confusing myself!
Wait, what process...I'll have to scroll back. Can't keep up with myself these days!
But take a simple example...a group of people all calling themselves "Christian" are gathered in a room. They shake hands are happy to see that they are all believing in the same religion. But close the doors and make them to discuss the contents of their faith in depth. Very soon they will realize that they did not infact agree as much as they thought they did...there might be some loud disagreement, insults, people wanting to storm out of the room...but after a week of tireless discussion, they come to the conclusion that while they might disagree on many points, their core beliefs, those things that really matter, are more or less the same. It turns out the disagreements were largely due to misunderstandings and how they use words differently to describe things. They shake hands again, happy to be among people of the same faith.
Now...for someone who did not participate in the discussions, it may on a quick glance seem as if they ended up exactly where they started. But this is only due to ignorance on the part of the outsider. If the outsider had made deep interviews with the participants before and after the discussions, it would be clear, even for the outsider, that something has indeed profoundly changed. The Fool has become the Universe.
I have a personal and off topic issue with a loved one's mental and physical health. Thus I had a fairly strong internal reaction to your first comment on Dr. Shoemaker. It wasn't until you posted this that I realized what was going on with me.
I think there is a fine line between denial and letting go which, I think, in a way you have been writing about. I certianly don't think this loved one's issue is good, I'd personally like to rain down the power of Babylon on them, or thier disease and alter this experience for both of us. Part of this is my Cancer Rising, I think, my nature to mother, especially my family. To deal with this on an upfront and emotional level instead of keeping quite and finding some kind of acceptance level that would make me more useful, if not more peaceful.
I had gotten pretty comfortable with letting go of this issue until I realized that there was a flare up (for lack of a better word), and at about the same time of hearing your views on Dr.s and mental health and who's responsibility is what. I wasn't trying to convince you, I was trying to convince myself.
Like it or not I am powerless over this issue. This experience with you has helped me see that I still have issues with feeling powerless.
So in the first half of this conversation I was unaware and that confused my responses. In the second half of this conversation I was trying to explain without really explaning. I am famous for taking discussions off topic and getting personal and am trying to get a grip on that.
I'd like to say I am usually more clear and less conflicted. But I would lying.
AW