THE SECRET LOVER
Each of us has a Secret Lover; a lover who awaits just behind the erotic images that flood our minds during sexual arousal or in sleep; a dream lover who disguises as the individuals with whom we fall in love; an ideal lover who has adored us since the beginning of our individual existence and who will never abandon us until the instant we merge our being in absolute Godhead.
We momentarily feel the embrace of our Secret Lover in the ecstasy of orgasm and in moments of rapture when the beauty of music or dance or visual art or nature overcomes us.
Whenever we experience a "broken heart" it is often because another individual has not lived up to the perfection of our Secret Lover. The reason sexual experiences are often better in the imagination or memory than in actuality is because it is in the imagination that the Secret Lover is nearest to us. Personal relationships will always be somewhat disappointing to us because in truth there can never be a relationship that matches the one we already have with our Secret Lover.
Surrender to this Secret Lover is a central theme of most every religion yet the doctrines and practices of the world's so-called "great religions" tend to dilute, deflect and deter the individual from the genuine personal experience.
Moreover the religious establishments have unceasingly striven to convince their congregations that this most private of all religious events is not a personal experience at all but an ambiguous and incomprehensible occurenece to be publicly affirmed and validated by the priestcraft. They, in turn, allow you to participate vicariously with them in a pantomime of the sacred marriage.
It is especially ironic that the mythical life of Christ exemplifies in word and deed the central secret of this divine relationship. Many passages is the New Testament and the newly discovered Gnostic texts clearly reveal that the Christ is a projected image of a level of consciousness achievable by all. And until this is experienced, until we have become one with Him, subsequent higher levels of consciousness will be unobtainable.
Try as it might, the church has found it impossible to completely obscure this most sacred truth from the hearts of devoted individuals. The Ecstasies of the Nun Gertrude and St. Teresa are unmistakable examples of sexual surrender to the divine lover. It was only because of their religious and cultural environment that the image of their lover was that of Christ. Had Teresa been Hindu her lover may have been Krishna, Vishnu or any number of deities of devotion.
It is profoundly unfortunate that the forces of organized religion demand that, as prerequisite to uniting with the divine lover, the faithful must subscribe to the most rediculous collection of dogmas and absurdities. Myths turned into lies, lies turned into laws and adherence to the laws has replaced the personal experience of the Myth.
Is it any wonder that the modern mind has rejected such spiritual self abuse? But isn't it sad that in doing so the "baby" of truth has been thrown out with the "bath-water" of primitive superstition.
The pages of history are red with the blood of illuminated "saints" who were murdered by their religions for actually achieving the advertised spiritual rewards.
In Western Hermeticism this Spiritual Lover is called the "Higher Genius," "Adonai" or the "Master Within." In the language of ceremonial magick it is called "The Holy Guardian Angel" and the union of the magician with this Spiritual Being is called the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel.
The Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel is the primary goal of the ceremonial magician and must be achieved before any other meaningful magical acts can be accomplished. The Holy Guardian Angel (The Secret Lover) will be the magician's lover, mentor and guide through the higher levels of initiation.
Whether one considers oneself a cereminial magician or not the fact remains that the above experience, no matter what it is called, is a prerequisite for complete spiritual liberation.