Conflict Resolution?

[Cobalt]

Short background: My GameMaster's hardline religious beliefs are causing tension with my partner, who sees harm in some of those specific values (and/or the application thereof), to the point that he no longer wishes to attend game and which effectively removes me from it as well.

Question: What else should I know about the tension in my roleplaying group?

Using this Celtic Cross spread.

Card 1: The present. Three of cups. That was a surprise, because as I see it this is a card about joyous reunions, of having enough in two cups to fill a third. Considering that this situation is about people who aren't getting along and are therefore not able to create something awesome together... I'm confused.

Card 2: The immediate challenge facing the querent. Ten of swords. I can tell already this spread isn't going by half measures. Everything sucks, something important (the game, likely) is dead, and the only up-side is that it's all uphill from here because really... how much worse can it get? Don't answer that...

Card 3: Distant past, foundation. The Devil. To me this is a card about allowing oneself to be enslaved by your passions. Compulsion, addiction, etc. Perhaps this is about my tendency to get really emotionally invested in my creative works, to the point that being disappointed in them is a far more crushing blow ("withdrawal" is not a terrible term here) than it ought to be.

Card 4: More recent past, including events. King of Cups. My partner is the only guy in the house (which makes him the man of the house by default) and he is very much a sensitive and emotional type. He's been stressed this last semester, which might be making him more volatile and less tolerant of the GameMaster? Another tricky one.

Card 5: The best that can be achieved. Four of Swords. Stasis after the bad crap blows over. I got this in another reading, and I think it's suggesting that we take a break from roleplaying in general to make sure we can all recover our strength before potentially setting ourselves up to be disappointed or hurt again.

Card 6: Immediate Future. This indicates events in the next few days or week(s). The Empress. Fertility and rejuvenation. Perhaps fertility of ideas here? A new game? But gestation takes time, and perhaps this will need time to grow into something healthy and good (which would fit with the 4 of Swords earlier).

Card 7: Factors or inner feelings affecting the situation. The Sun. This fits the joyousness of the situation card, which is confusing. I'd think that if The Sun were the main factor we'd be seeing some good vibes and not this tension. Though perhaps the presence of the child on the card indicates that someone is being childish?

Card 8: External influences. Knight of Wands. I think this is our GameMaster, which is definitely something not controllable. Enthusiastic, passionate about his family and his religion and very protective of these things... to a fault. I cannot change that he's uncritically devoted to beliefs he hasn't thought through, because he will fight any challenge to them. More importantly, my partner cannot change this, either.

Card 9: Hopes or fears around the situation. Page of Wands. Message about a leadership position? Am I afraid I'll find out that I have to start GameMastering if I want things to begin going right? Yeah. Am I sure that's what this card is talking about? Not entirely.

Card 10: Final outcome. The Fool (drawn from the back of the deck because it kept slipping out and clearly wanted to be included). New possibilities (which are good), and rushing headlong into them (which is not always as good). I'll have to listen to the 4 of Swords and the Empress and try to keep ahold of the reins.


Anyway, I've got a few confusing cards here. Any insight?

 

[rwcarter]

Cobalt,

What deck did you use? I'm one of those readers who tries to read the images on the cards, which is hard to do if I don't know what deck you used.

Rodney

 

[Cobalt]

Oh, sorry! I should have specified that. Rider-Waite, I believe. Nothing exotic.

 

[Alta]

I had to read this a couple of times to understand the situation, but (I hope) I do now enough to respond.

Alta

Card 1: The present. Three of cups.
This is likely that what the situation is describes group dynamics. In other words, people who want to play together, in this case in the game. It is equivalent to the 'the situation' and reflects your own wishes that everyone could just play happily together.

Card 2: The immediate challenge facing the querent. Ten of swords.
The challenge is that thoughts, words and doubts are piercing you and while you want to see a resolution, that the moment you feel rather despairing. Also you sense that the situation has passed a break point and it may not be possible to recover, that a new road needs to be found. For example you mentioned needing a new GameMaster.

Card 3: Distant past, foundation. The Devil.
This refers to the tension within the group, specifically those two which also involves everyone. Beyond the religious beliefs, could therre be a underlying power struggle? That your partner resents the fact that the GameMaster runs the show?

Card 4: More recent past, including events. King of Cups.
Emotional control (I take the darker aspect because of the situation). I suspect that your partner and possibly the GameMaster are playing their own private games with the emotions of others.

Card 5: The best that can be achieved. Four of Swords.
Not promising for an immediate solution. You may have to step back and let the two of them deal with it and not use you as a game piece in their private struggle.

Card 6: Immediate Future. This indicates events in the next few days or week(s). The Empress.
That looks better. If you see a way to resolve this, take it. It doesn't mean a break with the group so much as a renewal. Sound out others within the group as many are affected. It may be a sense of loyalty has stopped you thus far.

Card 7: Factors or inner feelings affecting the situation. The Sun.
Affecting you.... hope. You want a clean resolution.

Card 8: External influences. Knight of Wands.
You are probably correct here. And that it is external says again that the issues are between you and your partner... loyalty, concern, even fear of losing something.

Card 9: Hopes or fears around the situation. Page of Wands.
You don't know what to do and are to a certain extent chasing your own tail. Look to the 4 of swords as good advice.

Card 10: Final outcome. The Fool
I would say that the future of this situation is not written in stone. Events can still be influenced.

Alta

 

[Cobalt]

Thanks for your input. A second set of interpretations can often be helpful, and I appreciate you taking the time to offer that to me. *hat tip*

 

[rwcarter]

Question: What else should I know about the tension in my roleplaying group?

Well-phrased question! I'm basing my interpretations on the imagery and without reading your or anyone else's interpretations.

Card 1: The present. Three of cups.

On the surface, it's a happy gathering of friends who are all enjoying themselves.

Card 2: The immediate challenge facing the querent. Ten of swords.

Someone (from the background you gave, I'm guessing your partner) feels betrayed by events occurring in the group.

Card 3: Distant past, foundation. The Devil.

I can see the Devil representing someone who's dictatorial. I also see that other people have been unhappy with your GameMaster, but have been afraid to speak up.

Card 4: More recent past, including events. King of Cups.

In its positive aspect, the KC could represent your partner who's been biting his tongue in an effort to keep the peace. In a negative aspect, the KC could be the GameMaster, who doesn't care about the feelings of the other people in the group as long as his needs are met.

Card 5: The best that can be achieved. Four of Swords.

Since the question is about the tension in your role-playing group, the best that can be achieved appears to be for you to wait it out. Now is not the time for a coup, nor is it the time to leave the group. Stay put and let it play itself out.

Card 6: Immediate Future. This indicates events in the next few days or week(s). The Empress.

The Empress tells me that something is brewing or growing with the tensions. I don't get a sense of whether that's your partner being fed up or someone else in the group who's been fed up and unwilling to speak up who's about to speak up.

Card 7: Factors or inner feelings affecting the situation. The Sun.

Most people want to keep the peace, which is why they haven't spoken up before.

Card 8: External influences. Knight of Wands.

It's possible that someone who's relatively new to the group (an outsider, as it were) will come charging in and speak up where others haven't.

Card 9: Hopes or fears around the situation. Page of Wands.

As a hope, the PW suggests that someone will find the courage to speak up. As a fear, it suggests that even if someone does speak up, it won't have any real effect on the situation.

Card 10: Final outcome. The Fool (drawn from the back of the deck because it kept slipping out and clearly wanted to be included).

The Fool is about new beginnings and taking chances. Again, since the question is about the tension in the group, the final outcome is that someone will be "foolish" enough to take on the GameMaster. This action may lead to a new beginning for the group, but I can't say that with any certainty.

HTH,
Rodney

 

[Cobalt]

Thanks!

 

[Sulis]

Cobalt you have a PM.

 

[Cobalt]

I am aware. I will get to this in a moment.

Edit:

Sorry if some of this is a bit brief. I hadn't intended to post it just yet, but I can understand if folk were getting impatient to get a reply from me. Here's what I've got so far.

Card 1: The present. Three of cups.

Alta: I think you're correct about some people who want to just get on with the game and not worry about out-of-character clashes, and at first this was how I felt. Perhaps this card isn't reflecting what's actually going on, but rather what some of us wish was happening.

rwcarter: Same here as my comment to Alta. I'm sure that to watch us around the table it'd be difficult to determine that anything is wrong, but that's mainly because those of us who know the underlying issues are keeping quiet in the hopes that those involved will find some resolution on their own.

Card 2: The immediate challenge facing the querent. Ten of swords.

Alta: Correct. 100%.

rwcarter: I'm not certain that the betrayal angle is necessarily the most apt, since it's mainly an issue of clashing values. Nobody has directly done anything to one another. I think it's just a personality meshing issue. Then again... the GM might feel betrayed that two of his five players are suddenly ditching game after it's been going for months. He invests a lot in planning, and was probably quite disappointed by what must seem to him to be a very sudden shift.

Card 3: Distant past, foundation. The Devil.

Alta: That's an interesting angle on it that I hadn't thought to consider, but now that I have I think that it's not necessarily the case. My partner has generally tried to be pretty careful about remembering whose table it is, and the GameMaster has not been a bully about anything like some GMs can be.

rwcarter: Interesting. It may be worth keeping an ear open to see if other people feel the same way. The caution here is that I don't want to make a deliberate effort to turn the GM's remaining friends against him.

Card 4: More recent past, including events. King of Cups.

Alta: I think the trouble for my partner is that he's not willing to play emotional games to keep people getting along. It's what I've been doing to keep things tolerable, but he does not have the patience for it. If he has to engage in a complex diplomatic campaign to get along with somebody, it's not worth the benefit in his mind.

rwcarter: I think you're spot on as far as my partner. Keeping his mouth shut has become more and more difficult for him, and it's gotten to the point where keeping the peace is not worth the personal price to him.

Card 5: The best that can be achieved. Four of Swords.

Alta: This is what I've been trying to do as things have continued to unfold over the past couple of days. The fact that I am leaving with my partner is about as much association as there needs to be between us as far as this conflict goes. I'll support him, but it's not time for me to fight his battle just yet.

rwcarter: Waiting it out is just what I've done, and the passage of time has done some good. My initial annoyance at feeling obligated to leave the game behind has cooled down, and as a few days have passed I've been able to temper my disappointment with the knowledge that the game just wasn't worth dealing with tension like that--even if only I and my partner know it's there.

Card 6: Immediate Future. This indicates events in the next few days or week(s). The Empress.

Alta: Late last night discussion began in earnest of a new game with new people, and there is much enthusiasm surrounding it. I had to give up some of the hopes for things I'd been wanting to accomplish in the other game, but once I did that I found I was much better able to loosen up and enjoy the process of coming up with some new ideas.

rwcarter: Someone else might speak up, but it's too soon yet to say. My partner still has not been able to catch the GM online (which is the only way we can reach him) to discuss things, so things are probably not out in the open to a great enough extent for other people to have opinions on it.

Card 7: Factors or inner feelings affecting the situation. The Sun.

Alta: My trouble with the appearance of The Sun here was that my inner feeling was mainly disappointment, resulting from having to let go of a few minor hopes and aspirations dealing with that game and a good friend of mine who will be continuing to attend that game instead of a new one with us. I'm still puzzling over this card, I think.

rwcarter: Perhaps. As I mentioned to Alta, this is the most confusing card in the spread for me.

Card 8: External influences. Knight of Wands.

Alta: The issues with my partner are becoming easier to resolve now that we've taken an honest look at the areas in which everybody involved is willing to compromise, and where they are not. The Knight of Wands never struck me as a talented compromiser. =P

rwcarter: Oh, maybe. We did just acquire a new person at our last session. He was a lively and creative sort, and I liked him. I'll be sorry not to get to continue playing with him, but perhaps coming in during all of this will prompt him to give his own impressions of the group from an outside perspective.

Card 9: Hopes or fears around the situation. Page of Wands.

Alta: I'm not entirely sure still what this one means, but connecting it to the four of swords is useful (to something I need to refrain from doing in order to let things lie, or let myself rest). Pages are also messengers, and I don't particularly want to pass messages or play mediator on this one. Not just yet, at least. So perhaps this card is reflecting some apprehension about that.

rwcarter: Also makes sense. I mean, I'd like for someone to explain to the GM what's going on in a way that actually allows him to evaluate his approach to his friends and determine if he's comfortable with the consequences of it. I don't necessarily expect him to change, but someone needs to explain it to him so that he actually at least looks at his behavior--because this is not something he's naturally inclined to. I fear it might be me, though it'd be awesome if someone else were capable of getting that across.

Card 10: Final outcome. The Fool.

Alta: In the last day or so things have solidified a bit. Now that I'm more comfortable leaving that long-running scheduled game behind, there's little reason not to do it. My feelings about it were mainly the only block there, since my partner was not likely to get any more comfortable there with the passage of time.

rwcarter: The new beginning here might not necessarily be with that gaming group, but a new one. But hey! The Fool is also a traveler. Perhaps that's what he's signaling here.

 

[rwcarter]

Card 2: The immediate challenge facing the querent. Ten of swords.

rwcarter: I'm not certain that the betrayal angle is necessarily the most apt, since it's mainly an issue of clashing values. Nobody has directly done anything to one another. I think it's just a personality meshing issue. Then again... the GM might feel betrayed that two of his five players are suddenly ditching game after it's been going for months. He invests a lot in planning, and was probably quite disappointed by what must seem to him to be a very sudden shift.

I didn't mean betrayal in the literal sense of the image, but more in the sense of me inviting you over for dinner but not telling you that I'd be making a sales pitch to you. The purpose that you all gather for should be the game. It shouldn't be to discuss politics, religion or anything else. If those things happen as an adjunct to the game, fine. But it appears that one person (who just so happens to be in charge) is forcing their "agenda" on other players. It's in that sense that I meant a betrayal.

Rodney