There are a lot of separate things to adddress here. Not quite sure where to start, so I'll start somewhere and try to address them all.
I had a similar experience to yours. I started Tarot in fact because of a painful loss of a man I loved deeply in my life. The pain lead me to seek out something to help and that something ended up being Tarot, which has been a tremendous help ever since.
It was about 6 to 8 months before I ever read for anyone else. But I guess that is where our expereinces differ. I loved reading for myself. I was fasinated by Tarot and could not get enough of it. It never drained me, it always fasintinated and excited me. Like I had found the greatest self-help tool of all time. And at the same time i was finding the world was more magical and beautiful than I ever imagined, and I myself was learning I had powers that I never imagined I had. (The magic is, after all, in us not in the cards). For me ti absolutely awakened all that was spiritual in me and deepened it. To me every reading I do is a communcation with the Divine. Tarot is the most deeply spiritaul part of my life, and it lead me down so many other deeply spiritual paths.
I was so happy reading for myself and using what I thought (and still do) was the greateset problem solving tool ever, that I literally had no interest at all in ever reading for others. I honestly was set against it at first. Tarot was my self-help tool and that was all I wanted from it. I really did not have any desire for the first 6-8 months to ever read for anyone else. It was only when friends at AT started begging to read for them that I finally agreed. Then I ended up doing more and more.
I'm sure I had a point before I started rambling off, but let's see.. LOL I think the point here is that having only yourself to read for can be a very positive experience if you let it. It does not have to be painful, it never ever was for me. I adored my path. How we feel about something is all about what we tell ourselves about it. But it can be a postiive fulfiulling experience.
Of course in the beginning there is a lot to learn and it takes a lot of pratice and journalling and yes in the beginning there will be many readings that you are not sure what they mean of that you don't have a clue. That is the same for everyone I'd imagine , when the start out.
If you feel drained you are likely working to hard at it, or spending too much time on it for you. Learning Tarot, or anything Tarot should never feel like work, It should be fun and experimentation and play and marveling at the wonders of life. Tarot is a thing that shows us the wonders of life in all their dimensions. We learn that the future is changeable and with this tool we are powerful enough to change it. We learn that there actually IS something out there with intelligence that answers us when we ask questions of the cards. And that is the proof....just to name a few. And I have have so many magical expereinces taht started with Tarot that I can now even keep count.
Meditation sounds like a good idea. It is also an excellent way to improve intution., But then you still have to work with the cards to finetune how ti will work for you within a reading.
Ok, as to your questions, asking the exact same question in a short time frame more than two times, tends to get you nonsense answers. The powers that be that answer via the cards tend to get fed up and stop anwering. And when the stop answering, you just get random cards that make no sense and have no meaning in the context of the reading.
As for having someone else read for you rather than doign it yourself...this is highly recommeneded when the issue you are reading on is an emotional one. Most people, myself included, cannot read well for themselves on issues they are feeling emotional about. It clouds things and makes it very hard to read accurately. On emotional issues, I ask a freind to read for me. On anything else, i do my own readings.
And again, I started Tarot after a very traumatic relatonship, so my heart really goes out to you there. Just a suggestion but if you feel the need to ask the same question over and over and it is not making you any happier, you could try another line of questions like you could ask why you feel you want to keep asking the same question. You could also ask what the cards want to tell you on the issue that will make you feel better to hear it. Or what is the lesson you can learn now that will lead to deeper happiness in your future....etc.
Just some ideas....
Babs
Hi, SunChariot (by the way I love your screen name)
Thank you for taking the time to reflect and give me your opinion/advice. Actually I read this last night and I slept on it and it helped me A LOT!
(along with everyone else's).
Well, explaining the entire situation is long and very detailed since this has been carrying for months, so for the sake of things I just wrote the main issues at the moment. I am definitely feeling much better (and I think I might have actually finally let go of this person/situation, but who knows!...my feelings are volatile in regards to this).
What you mentioned helped me a lot as I feel it has brought me on track to things and it also gave me a lot of comfort knowing i'm not alone (I think this is big part of how I can get so stressed, because I feel alone, in particular no one in my circle is interested in these things so no one I can share the magical things I've experienced that the world has to offer).
Your situation is exactly like mine (unlike the part where you never felt as I did or tend to feel lately). I don't know how your situation evolved, I know eventually ALL situations end up evolving into something positive as even if the things we want don't happen it's for a a reason. But I don't know if you relationship worked out in the end with your ex or not... for me it has not happened, and clearly is something in my heart I wanted (as it was very painful to let go). At times I feel so stupid for even "waiting" (Hanged Man) all these months in the hopes (Star) of "some" resolution. I'm sure all of us in this area know the Universe, Tarot and our guides gives us so much detail behind what's going on the obvious, which in return helps us to see the situation differently, which can often lead us to waith (hanged man).
Just like you, I started learning the Tarot due to a very painful breakup and I had no one to go to or understand me. The usual things my friends could say is "move on" but the break up itself was not because he was a "bad man" or any of that sort, all the opposite, perhaps the nicest person that I've met, for this it was difficult.
A relationship that ended with a lot of miscommunciation and problems to which I felt very guilty, at the end of that breakup I realized the bigger picture, the issues had little to do with him or us (our relationship) but much more to do with some past issues (relationships) with men that were very aggressive and negative and it starts to form our ideas subconsciously to which tend to react, I did. It's difficult to talk to men about this issues, women issues with other men that in turn perhaps lead us to behave to ways men dislike, or don't understand. I started being paranoid and distrusful for no reason to which the relationship ended up dying down, and became very difficult, both to let go (because the feelings were there but not the understanding of dealing with the logical actions). As he said, " I think being in love is not enough to have a "good" relationship" which is very true.
But my pain came even more when I tired to make the relatioship work and I could not explain whats' behind me (If they perhaps could do a readin on us perhaps they could understand the situation better! lol). Of course, the logical decision (without intuition and anything else) is that " Its Over" when is over but when there are feelings involved for both people is difficult as we ended the relationship due to "disagreements" (communication). But inside me, there was so much more ...I knew things "weren't" right and did not feel as "over" in terms of the energies and karma, I knew that things will eventually fall into place, for both of us.
Anyhow, I started learning the Tarot, I remember I had bought my deck long before to which I opened "once' and immediately put away because I didn't understand in ANY way what it was about, the images did not make sense. Interesting, that moment (perhaps because I was so connected with myself and my intuition and the Universe) when I opened my Rider Waite, it was as if I had read it before, the way it spoke it was VERY clear to me, my past, what I was going through, the issues and ALSO the future. Which came true....
I guess my dilmena started because well..... I have been thorugh this situation (understanding it, predictions that happened, other things)... but the most important one, to which I felt and thought thigns would be finally resolved this Month, have NOT happened.
I think this immediatley made me feel insecure and although I dont deny the magical world we are blessed with, that perhaps what I was to learn aside from getting into this wonderful world and is something else, perhaps is for me to learn to understand what my intuition is telling me and why.
In the past, it has always served me to "help" me.... through my intuition I found out my ex (the person before him that impacted my behaviour with this last person) was cheating on me the whole time, he even lived with another woman! for a 1 1/2 and made me believe he lived with his poor mother. It was a disaster.... all my friends and even him (as he usually made me feel I was "crazy" )...even my friends recommended that I focus my imagination into writing stories LOL......in the "logical" world this is correct. THANKFULLY... as I pray everynight for a "sign".... because I had no proof but felt something so strong... I figure it out!!!!! of course, when I saw something it was for my own good.
With this last relationship (after that guy) to which has me like this... I also had a lot of weird intuition/premonitions that have not been to uncover anything bad about him, but good things. Great, good... but that also made me feel that we were "both" connected...
since my intuition does not tell me anything so far that is not to "help" decide or do realize something... there is no need to feel something about him (when I'm not seeking) out of nowhere....I ask myself "what is the point"? what are you trying to tell me? is not like we are together and I need to find something out, or etc..... it's been over...
Yet this, with the cards... and the predictions that have all happened so far... I been "The Hanged Man" with the "Star" ....
but now... probably simply things changed... as I don't think I have the "Strength" to be the "hanged man" any longer in this situation. I probably would if I was "sure" ..and I guess thats what I need to learn to be "patient" and "trust" myself and that will mean also the spreads (when done correctly).
Anyhow, sorry...long post... but that's the only way I can explain the situation to the best of my abilities.
Right now, I slept good and woke up refreshed... not sad and with a lot of energy (is of course sad when we as the ("Star"), felt that ("Justice") would happen to a past experience (not him but the person before him) and give us the "10 of cups" (Lovers) this month to a painful situation.
.
But I'm open now to new possibilities and I've LEARNED a lot, no regrets... more than anything thankful that I know the Universe NEVER leaves us and we are NEVER alone. As you mentioned, thank you!!!!!
