KMilliron
Nice.Sar said:
You always get those people who have self destructive habits and yet expect rainbows and butterflies. Ugh.
Friend thinks I'm a tarot vending machine
You always get those people who have self destructive habits and yet expect rainbows and butterflies. Ugh.HOLMES
yeah..
you have to put an end to that..
and i think it is something most tarot beginners go through eh ?
my friends used to use me all the time as a fortune telling machine, which i didnt' mind at first for it was fun,, but then when i didnt' want to do it they were asking please ,, and then the same question over .. and over..
so i stopped doing readings saying i am too tired, or i am not ready (this is where the thinking i have that i need to be spiritually prepared comes in handy eheh ).
now when people ask,, i say it is 10 dollars or 20 if i was reading in a professional setting. some of them balk at that and joking ask " i got 5 dollars will that do "? and i say nope..
you have to put an end to that..
and i think it is something most tarot beginners go through eh ?
my friends used to use me all the time as a fortune telling machine, which i didnt' mind at first for it was fun,, but then when i didnt' want to do it they were asking please ,, and then the same question over .. and over..
so i stopped doing readings saying i am too tired, or i am not ready (this is where the thinking i have that i need to be spiritually prepared comes in handy eheh ).
now when people ask,, i say it is 10 dollars or 20 if i was reading in a professional setting. some of them balk at that and joking ask " i got 5 dollars will that do "? and i say nope..
Cerulean
Ask for a fair exchange or kindly direct them elsewhere again
I know of very curious friends/people and my return on this is there needs to be an exchange of energy that is more like 'sharing' between friends.
If you explain you do not have all the answers based on their question--that you see their thirst and development is more an individual journey--you can say you'd enjoy sharing your interest, but you realize their quest and desire for answers is more than you can immediately handle.
If they want comparison readings that seem longer than a few cards to check out the art...and they are taking up your time and not offering anything in exchange---honestly, explain that for you, the comparison readings took more time than you could handle.
The 'exchange' idea is more like good manners and a friendly, firm hand in directing your friends' curiosity into teaching themselves. If it's a Rider Waite deck, people have consulted learntarot.com or other free sites, depending on their interest. So if you are suggesting a few good resources online instead of loaning out your own books/decks -- this will take deflect and direct away your friend's attention to other resources for guidance.
If you want to help them pick and choose the decks they want to buy or the books they are going to get for their learning, that's fine--but let them know you are only trying to take a short time to guide them toward better resources, not be their private tutor on tarot.
You can always say when you decided that your interest in tarot is more an individual learning and if you are taking a rest or not reading anymore for others outside. Good luck with your sharing and tarot times!
Cerulean
I know of very curious friends/people and my return on this is there needs to be an exchange of energy that is more like 'sharing' between friends.
If you explain you do not have all the answers based on their question--that you see their thirst and development is more an individual journey--you can say you'd enjoy sharing your interest, but you realize their quest and desire for answers is more than you can immediately handle.
If they want comparison readings that seem longer than a few cards to check out the art...and they are taking up your time and not offering anything in exchange---honestly, explain that for you, the comparison readings took more time than you could handle.
The 'exchange' idea is more like good manners and a friendly, firm hand in directing your friends' curiosity into teaching themselves. If it's a Rider Waite deck, people have consulted learntarot.com or other free sites, depending on their interest. So if you are suggesting a few good resources online instead of loaning out your own books/decks -- this will take deflect and direct away your friend's attention to other resources for guidance.
If you want to help them pick and choose the decks they want to buy or the books they are going to get for their learning, that's fine--but let them know you are only trying to take a short time to guide them toward better resources, not be their private tutor on tarot.
You can always say when you decided that your interest in tarot is more an individual learning and if you are taking a rest or not reading anymore for others outside. Good luck with your sharing and tarot times!
Cerulean
caridwen said:
Miss Divine
Very funny thread title!
But I've been there too. It is so exhausting! I have a friend who started tarot together with me. But unlike me, she never did any learning, only buying. BUT, she would constantly ask me for readings. She lived close by, so she came over alot. If she wasn't over, she'd always call me. I got so fed up I told her, ''you can come over, but no cards!'' On the phone she'd often say ''I pulled such and such cards, what does this mean?'' It gets to the point that you want to avoid the person.
We are still friends, and if someone is a true friend, you should be able to tell them honestly how you feel. That's what I did, exactly that without beating around the bush, and now it's only once in a while she'll ask for a reading. Sometimes I offer one myself.
But I've been there too. It is so exhausting! I have a friend who started tarot together with me. But unlike me, she never did any learning, only buying. BUT, she would constantly ask me for readings. She lived close by, so she came over alot. If she wasn't over, she'd always call me. I got so fed up I told her, ''you can come over, but no cards!'' On the phone she'd often say ''I pulled such and such cards, what does this mean?'' It gets to the point that you want to avoid the person.
We are still friends, and if someone is a true friend, you should be able to tell them honestly how you feel. That's what I did, exactly that without beating around the bush, and now it's only once in a while she'll ask for a reading. Sometimes I offer one myself.
KMilliron
A lot of my friends that did this were really into music so if I told them I was practicing guitar they'd shut right up.
Torkie
I think I've pretty decently avoided this pitfall - in fact, I usually bug other people to *let* me read for them
The best way to avoid being a vending machine is to start out with clear boundaries. Before I read for anyone, I give them "the speech". In it, I basically highlight that the tarot isn't an excuse for letting someone else make choices for you (that is why I don't do yes/no or "should I..." readings).
I have flat-out refused questions phrased in a manner I usually allow. For example, my former boss asked, "What will be the signs if my boyfriend cheats on me?" She was obsessed with the cards, and giving her an excuse to blame her boyfriend for cheating made me very uncomfortable. I told her I wouldn't read for that question.
If I read for the person on a regular basis, I make my boundaries clear. I won't read for certain types of questions, questions that make me uncomfortable, and I *do* get worn out if I read too much*. This makes it pretty easy to say "no" when I need to, because I know they are aware of my limits ahead of time.
[*This was actually a harder one for me, as I'm not really a fan of "New Age"-y stuff, and admitting that tarot readings give me energy surges and crashes is pretty hard to explain to someone without me sounding crazy. So I went with, "it's pretty weird, but in these three specific situations, I totally crash after reading. I know it sounds crazy, I don't know why, but I won't read in those situations for you."]
The best way to avoid being a vending machine is to start out with clear boundaries. Before I read for anyone, I give them "the speech". In it, I basically highlight that the tarot isn't an excuse for letting someone else make choices for you (that is why I don't do yes/no or "should I..." readings).
I have flat-out refused questions phrased in a manner I usually allow. For example, my former boss asked, "What will be the signs if my boyfriend cheats on me?" She was obsessed with the cards, and giving her an excuse to blame her boyfriend for cheating made me very uncomfortable. I told her I wouldn't read for that question.
If I read for the person on a regular basis, I make my boundaries clear. I won't read for certain types of questions, questions that make me uncomfortable, and I *do* get worn out if I read too much*. This makes it pretty easy to say "no" when I need to, because I know they are aware of my limits ahead of time.
[*This was actually a harder one for me, as I'm not really a fan of "New Age"-y stuff, and admitting that tarot readings give me energy surges and crashes is pretty hard to explain to someone without me sounding crazy. So I went with, "it's pretty weird, but in these three specific situations, I totally crash after reading. I know it sounds crazy, I don't know why, but I won't read in those situations for you."]
velvetina
i almost never read for friends.
I usually explain that it is for their benefit! that it avoids bias etc.
Another reason is that i find people pay less attention to a friend's 'freebie' than if they had handed over hard cash to a professional.
for many it is a diverting and interesting way to talk about an issue, so if IF i use my tarot i use it as a third party and encourage my friend to read for his or herself, with my guidance.
as for 'pests', I would just say no, tell them the psychic links between the two of you are too murky to be of use! tell them you can only read for the same person once between the solstice and the equinox, tell them their guardian angel forbids it, tell them your guardian angel forbids it!! tell them anything you like..but just say no!
I usually explain that it is for their benefit! that it avoids bias etc.
Another reason is that i find people pay less attention to a friend's 'freebie' than if they had handed over hard cash to a professional.
for many it is a diverting and interesting way to talk about an issue, so if IF i use my tarot i use it as a third party and encourage my friend to read for his or herself, with my guidance.
as for 'pests', I would just say no, tell them the psychic links between the two of you are too murky to be of use! tell them you can only read for the same person once between the solstice and the equinox, tell them their guardian angel forbids it, tell them your guardian angel forbids it!! tell them anything you like..but just say no!
caridwen
Thanks! I think the baseline here is the word "no".
She has just contacted me again and asked that we meet up soon. I'm assuming she wants another reading...
A friend doesn't only want to meet up when they want readings. So I think it's time to draw a line in the sand and say no. Only two letters but difficult in some circumstances.
She pays for 'tarot readings' on her phone and also pays to see a 'psychic' so I guess I'm a mug. (Surprised she hasn't asked for tea leaf readings... )
She has just contacted me again and asked that we meet up soon. I'm assuming she wants another reading...
A friend doesn't only want to meet up when they want readings. So I think it's time to draw a line in the sand and say no. Only two letters but difficult in some circumstances.
She pays for 'tarot readings' on her phone and also pays to see a 'psychic' so I guess I'm a mug. (Surprised she hasn't asked for tea leaf readings...
)caridwen
HOLMES said:
Tarot beginner!!!!!!! I've been reading for eleven years!!
Charging is a good idea as it lays out very clear boundaries and people respect the fact that they are paying for a service.
INFINITE LIGHT
This is the perfect thread for me to post in or read thank you very much.
I am both replying to the replies to the questions and the realizations they bring as well as the OP Original topic.
I AM the person who's reading WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME. I didn't go to the same psychic, but I use to go to different psychics and they'd basically tell me different variations of the same message
Go within
Old soul
Your powerful
Out with the old in with the new
I AM the person and STILL AM the person who gets into circles in life where the same thing happens a million times in different ways over months until i get it and then in the next process of life it happens again and then after it circles ALOT I leave and so and so on and so on.
I read how you guys deal with friends and I'm just so happy that God doesn't leave and continues to guide me like he ALWAYS does even though he KNOWS I'm just gonna go into huge circles.
You guys made me appreciate God more which is always beautiful!
In fact at this circle I'm in after just mindlessly wanting power and ego journey I'm in the circle where God is saying "your astonishingly powerful and there is absolutely no reason you should be in fear at all!"
Emphasized by how I taught myself tarot through symbol interpretation and not books.
The way it works for readings I do for EVERYONE I AM GUIDED TO READ FOR is that there readings is my readings.
All my life I've always had the knowledge, information, or wisdom to solve problems I just never took ACTION.
And so to emphasize that EVERY reading that I do for another is really a reading for myself . Like the interpretation to their life changes but as I'm talking sometimes I see how this superbly applies to me and is just the same message from a different perspective and other time I realize it after the reading.
The first time this happened I gave reading over xbox live and word for word the reading was exactly for me.
-------
When it comes to doing readings for people it's a bit different for me. I'm a social person and I enjoy giving speeches. I always have some gimmick and every person I ever met I always asked these cool deceptive 5 questions. But when it was time for me to grow out of that I had to trust that God would give me something greater.
That greater was tarot. Instead of deceiving people i help them. I enjoy talking and I superbly enjoy symbol interpretation and I love the fact that my ability to do that can actually help people. I'm still thinking of tarot games I can make up or entertaining ways of reading tarot like rapping the reading or something or entertainingly using cards during conversations with people I already know.
Because I was that guy on the other end you were talking about (I didn't even respect tarot I would always get channel type psychics) I have my own reading style that basically is spiritual psychology where it is designed to tell you were the true battle lies and how the circle will continue and the card layout is very fluid in situational. I basically communicate the message in the way I felt life has communicated to me so I guess
Because I was an still am an expert at going in circles.
I'm an expert for reading for people who do the same.
Since I'm an expert at being hard headed when life tells me something.
I'm an expert at being hard headed towards it.
I WILL NOT charge for readings at this point. Someone letting me read for them is them letting me read for myself. That within itself is payment.
Im nowhere near the point where doing readings for friends will get annoying but I've been the guy to attached to outside information, and I've been the guy who thinks just because he knows even Though you haven't DONE anything your healed. so in no way shape or form will I ever not read for someone in this situation.
I know how to help them I'll just repeat how God helped me get out of this cause I was and still am in some ways CHRONIC in the way of the circle path.
But at the same time I've been the person people say no to so I understand how much it helps to receive that real message of stop asking and start doing.
I am both replying to the replies to the questions and the realizations they bring as well as the OP Original topic.
I AM the person who's reading WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME. I didn't go to the same psychic, but I use to go to different psychics and they'd basically tell me different variations of the same message
Go within
Old soul
Your powerful
Out with the old in with the new
I AM the person and STILL AM the person who gets into circles in life where the same thing happens a million times in different ways over months until i get it and then in the next process of life it happens again and then after it circles ALOT I leave and so and so on and so on.
I read how you guys deal with friends and I'm just so happy that God doesn't leave and continues to guide me like he ALWAYS does even though he KNOWS I'm just gonna go into huge circles.
You guys made me appreciate God more which is always beautiful!
In fact at this circle I'm in after just mindlessly wanting power and ego journey I'm in the circle where God is saying "your astonishingly powerful and there is absolutely no reason you should be in fear at all!"
Emphasized by how I taught myself tarot through symbol interpretation and not books.
The way it works for readings I do for EVERYONE I AM GUIDED TO READ FOR is that there readings is my readings.
All my life I've always had the knowledge, information, or wisdom to solve problems I just never took ACTION.
And so to emphasize that EVERY reading that I do for another is really a reading for myself . Like the interpretation to their life changes but as I'm talking sometimes I see how this superbly applies to me and is just the same message from a different perspective and other time I realize it after the reading.
The first time this happened I gave reading over xbox live and word for word the reading was exactly for me.
-------
When it comes to doing readings for people it's a bit different for me. I'm a social person and I enjoy giving speeches. I always have some gimmick and every person I ever met I always asked these cool deceptive 5 questions. But when it was time for me to grow out of that I had to trust that God would give me something greater.
That greater was tarot. Instead of deceiving people i help them. I enjoy talking and I superbly enjoy symbol interpretation and I love the fact that my ability to do that can actually help people. I'm still thinking of tarot games I can make up or entertaining ways of reading tarot like rapping the reading or something or entertainingly using cards during conversations with people I already know.
Because I was that guy on the other end you were talking about (I didn't even respect tarot I would always get channel type psychics) I have my own reading style that basically is spiritual psychology where it is designed to tell you were the true battle lies and how the circle will continue and the card layout is very fluid in situational. I basically communicate the message in the way I felt life has communicated to me so I guess
Because I was an still am an expert at going in circles.
I'm an expert for reading for people who do the same.
Since I'm an expert at being hard headed when life tells me something.
I'm an expert at being hard headed towards it.
I WILL NOT charge for readings at this point. Someone letting me read for them is them letting me read for myself. That within itself is payment.
Im nowhere near the point where doing readings for friends will get annoying but I've been the guy to attached to outside information, and I've been the guy who thinks just because he knows even Though you haven't DONE anything your healed. so in no way shape or form will I ever not read for someone in this situation.
I know how to help them I'll just repeat how God helped me get out of this cause I was and still am in some ways CHRONIC in the way of the circle path.
But at the same time I've been the person people say no to so I understand how much it helps to receive that real message of stop asking and start doing.
