Hermit as future relationship?

[Miss Divine]

I had this card come up in a reading I did for a friend in the outcome position ''romantic future between A and B''.
They are not together at the moment, but when I see Hermit in that postion, my opinion is they won't be together in the future either (atleast not in a romantic relationship kind of way). I told my friend this and she's a little p....d off at me. She said the Death card or something would mean that.
Well yes, but I said there are other cards that would indicate that too, (reading for friends sucks sometimes).
I said I would post about it here to hear others' opinions. He is a guy that just got out of a long term relationship. In this case I see the Hermit is someone single, and staying single for atleast a while, until he's done exploring what all is out there.

Am I wrong? Please help!

Thanks in advance!

 

[NorthernTigress]

I had this card come up in a reading I did for a friend in the outcome position ''romantic future between A and B''.
They are not together at the moment, but when I see Hermit in that position, my opinion is they won't be together in the future either (at least not in a romantic relationship kind of way). I told my friend this and she's a little p....d off at me. She said the Death card or something would mean that.
Well yes, but I said there are other cards that would indicate that too, (reading for friends sucks sometimes).
I said I would post about it here to hear others' opinions. He is a guy that just got out of a long term relationship. In this case I see the Hermit is someone single, and staying single for at least a while, until he's done exploring what all is out there.

Am I wrong? Please help!

Thanks in advance!

I think that the Hermit could mean a "Long distance" relationship. Or maybe a couple who don't really share all of themselves with each other. Each one still has their "private side" that they don't show.

Or, like you said, it could mean that "B" is still searching for something, and "A" shouldn't expect him to settle down until the search is over.

 

[le fey]

I wouldn't tend to see the Hermit as pointing to any reciprocal romantic relationship, either. If it's describing the nature of whatever connection they do have, I'd be more inclined to see it as one person possibly pointing the way toward something the other person is searching for.

Short comment on her wanting to specify Death as the sole card giving a 'no'... if there is no current relationship, Death wouldn't apply, as Death would show the ending of something. It's got to start before it ends.

Which doesn't even bring up the fact that if she's asking you to read, the cards mean what they mean for you, not for her. Backseat drivers are so fun.

 

[Thirteen]

it could mean that "B" is still searching for something, and "A" shouldn't expect him to settle down until the search is over.

I agree. The Hermit is not a romantic card and, in agreement with Le Fey, your friend shouldn't be a backseat reader on this. The Hermit is, well, the Hermit. It's a card about solitude and searching, not about canoodling with a loved one. In a romantic position it may not present a resounding "Never!" but it certainly indicates "not yet" or just "not at the present time." One or both of the participants need more time alone, they're not ready for a romantic relationship.

At best, the Hermit might indicate that they're exploring the idea and looking into it, shining a light on each other to see if this is what they really want. But that's as far--or as best--as it's going to be at the moment.

To maintain friendly feelings, however, you might want to remind your friend that readings don't usually see farther than about 90 days into the future. It may not be in the cards at present, but there is no telling what A, B or both A & B will decide after shining a light on the idea and, in solitude, ruminating and thinking on it for a few weeks.

 

[nisaba]

I had this card come up in a reading I did for a friend in the outcome position ''romantic future between A and B''.
They are not together at the moment, but when I see Hermit in that postion, my opinion is they won't be together in the future either (atleast not in a romantic relationship kind of way). I told my friend this and she's a little p....d off at me. She said the Death card or something would mean that.
Well yes, but I said there are other cards that would indicate that too,

the death card indicates the end of sometehing, so for the Death card to indicate that there is nothing happening between them in teh future, something has to be happening now to come ot an end, If they are not in a relationship, the death card just weouldn't come up - there is nothing to end.

Yeah, the Hermit for someone fixated on starting a relationship with someone, basically says "no way, it's just not going to happen, and if you manage to enveigle a one-night-stand out of them, that's all it will ever be, their heart will be wandering off alone somewhere else."

If she gets angry, that just means she really wants this person, it doesn't mean you read it wrong, or that she will get him. It's my feeling she likely won't, even if she spends years or decades trying.

 

[Miss Divine]

Thank you all for such great answers. I agree about the Death card too, she has Tarot cards and has had them as long as I have, but only uses them if I'm not around to read, and later calls me because she wants my take LOL.

Thirteen you said:
To maintain friendly feelings, however, you might want to remind your friend that readings don't usually see farther than about 90 days into the future. It may not be in the cards at present, but there is no telling what A, B or both A & B will decide after shining a light on the idea and, in solitude, ruminating and thinking on it for a few weeks.

Isn't that giving false hope though?
So what you are saying, they may be together down the road, for instance next year?
What if 2 people are in a relationship and the future outcome IS the Death card?
Can that outcome change too? I'm asking because I have wondered this for a long time. I mean Death is as dead as it can get, even years down the road, right? Or no?

 

[le fey]

For the most part, Death is done and over... but I have seen situations where the same two people have a relationship that end, then reconnect but the relationship itself is entirely different from what it was before.. the *relationship* that came first is 'dead' - the new one is composed of the same people but its not the same relationship.

(for example, people who have been apart for years.. not only is any relationship that starts something new, rather than a resuming of the old, but the people themselves aren't the same as they were..entirely different dynamics)

 

[Miss Divine]

For the most part, Death is done and over... but I have seen situations where the same two people have a relationship that end, then reconnect but the relationship itself is entirely different from what it was before.. the *relationship* that came first is 'dead' - the new one is composed of the same people but its not the same relationship.

(for example, people who have been apart for years.. not only is any relationship that starts something new, rather than a resuming of the old, but the people themselves aren't the same as they were..entirely different dynamics)

Thank you so much le fey. And to everyone else who took the time to give their wonderful insights.
Love this forum!

 

[Thirteen]

Isn't that giving false hope though?

You are right that it is certainly false hope to give your querent the best spin on something that you don't see as all that hopeful. And you should absolutely be honest and say: "Sorry, according to the cards it's not going to happen," rather than, as your friend wants you to say, "so long as it's not death, there's hope." But it is also honest to say that the cards don't usually predict farther than 90 days and that things could change. That's not false hope, that's the truth. You never know what can or will change.

So what you are saying, they may be together down the road, for instance next year?

No, I'm saying that all you can tell a person, most of the time, is that this is the situation for the next 30-90 days. Whether she wants to try and change this situation as it stands, or leave it be and hope it changes, is up to her. But one thing is certain, it is likely that three months from now things will be different. Maybe she'll be together with someone else and so will he.

This is perhaps less false hope than it is a reminder that the person shouldn't give up on themselves or their efforts to be happy. Change is possible, including change for the better, even if it's not exactly what they imagined or thought they wanted.

What if 2 people are in a relationship and the future outcome IS the Death card?

It doesn't have to mean that the relationship will end. It can mean that the relationship is going to go through a radical change. Like when a husband who has worked through the whole marriage finally retires. And now the relationship the two have had has to "die" and be reborn as something different, as they have time to travel and the man is at home not away at work. Yes?

Can that outcome change too? I'm asking because I have wondered this for a long time. I mean Death is as dead as it can get, even years down the road, right? Or no?

It really depends on what kind of spread and why this card shows up. Most outcomes aren't absolute, unchangable predictions. In "A Christmas Carol," Scrooge asks the Ghost of Xmas present if Tiny Tim will die. His answer is, "If things stay as they are, he will." That's not a fiat accompli. That's an "if." Ditto with relationships where the prediction is Death. There's usually a reason why this will happen, and that means that it can be prevented or change.

The problem is that a relationship takes two. And while the querent you read for may be ready to work to save the relationship, their partner may not be. For a relationship to be saved from death, BOTH halves have to know it's in danger, why it's in danger, and how it can be saved. And they have to both want to save it. So, yes, it can be changed. But it can be hard if either side is in denial or unwilling to save it.

 

[Shebelle]

I skimmed through this, but want to say that Death can indicate "transition" and that Death is the completion of a cycle, BUT it is also not the last card in the Arcana. It helps me to think of it this way because things die naturally in our lives, relationships change, and sometimes we end a cycle...but that doesn't meant that there isn't a possibility in the future. I would read Death as being "no", but I would qualify that "no" by saying, as someone else here did, that whatever HAS BEEN is dead. Whatever comes next will be entirely new.

That said, I'd read the Hermit as saying that they will both be spending time alone, considering the relationship that they had, taking no action, but just thinking. That's the way the cookie crumbles sometime. Ask again in a few weeks.