How to make face-to-face readings easier?

[Ilithiya]

I was thinking on this earlier, and I was wondering...

Since reading for others online, like here in the forums, and reading to others in person are two different things in practice, what can be done to make the in-person readings easier?

It's easy for me to do online readings; I have the time to mull over the cards without feeling pressured to sling coherent interps left and right as I would if I had a sitter in front of me.

Now... one of the things I was thinking of for live sitters was handing them the card and asking them what sticks out the most for them in that card; then handling it from there on a card by card basis. In that case, it seems more like interpreting symbolism by a relatively established set of rules than it does intuiting from an inner source. (Does this make sense?)

Is that a good idea? Suggestions? Substitutions? What do you all do?

Thx!
Illy

 

[Free Flight]

Hi Ilithiya

I have the same sort of problem. I am OK on internet readings as I take my time and work slowly but face to face, I get nervous I rush and it all falls apart.
Next week marks the begin on practising live readings for me. To me I think practice will make it easier and makes the nerves less.
Your idea is good as it takes the pressure of you (or I) the reader and I think whilst the querant is looking at the card one can look a little more leisurely at the spread and see the links.

I have been told the best way to learn to read well face to face by two of the more esteemed readers at AT that you must literally throw yourself in the deep end. Read for strangers over and over until it clicks.
I am nervous that I will stuff up the first few while I find my rhythm..but as said next week I am beginning this learning process.

good luck and let me know how you go
x FF

 

[shadowdancer]

This may open up conversations - after all tarot consultations are a two way process, and the sitter may feel they are part of the whole process instead of passing the whole responsibility to you.

It may also give you some thinking time to mull things over so that they come out in a way you are happy with.

At the end of the day though, don't be afraid or uncomfortable with silence, if you need that few seconds to think.

We are conditioned in some parts of the world to think if there is a gap of silence we have to fill it!! Not necessarily the case but it is the way we are perhaps made to feel.

If you explained this at the start of the consultation you may find it is not really an issue.


However I do understand what you say. My first 100 readings or so were all face to face and I got to the stage I could talk for England. (Believe me, looking back I am amazed I paused for breath)

Since July last year I have been doing online readings for a spiritual forum, and have really got into a nice pattern. If I had to do a face to face reading now I would have to adapat again.

I have been asked to do live chat readings, but resisted. Typing out my thoughts takes me half an hour for an e-mailed reading. Knowing I have got 5 people queued up for a chat reading sent me cold - I had visions of being there for 2/3 hours just typing and declined the offer. I am usually lucky if I get half hour on the computer in the evenings, as my partner needs it more than I do as part of his work. Therefore, it was never going to be viable.

We are all different though!

Take care

Davina

 

[Umbrae]

Developing Rapport…Random thought (hee hee)

Remember the sitter? They have expectations about a reading too. Some need the trappings, the candles, the spread cloth, stones and crystals, and some even want a skull with a candle stuck on top.

Building rapport is more important than what the cards mean or what spread to use – if you don’t talk good…(hee hee hee), they ain’t gonna listen. Like some of you just experienced fingernails on a chalkboard didn’t you…nothing like a properly butchered sentence. So do you speak well?

Pointers:

A live reading is a conversation, not a monologue.

Do the reading with the cards face down, turning them up as you go. It helps maintain control. Don’t hand them cards, you lose control.

Getting to yes – that’s the whole point of your reading, to hear them say, “Yes”. So if they do – don’t rush on to the next card. Continue what your saying!
If they say no. Stop. Say these words, “but of course”. Look back at the cards. The sitter has just told you you are on the wrong track. So don’t argue (“But this card means this!”) look back at the cards and see what you’ve missed. The answer’s in the cards. So read the cards.

Begin each reading with a year cycle analysis. Write their year-cycle number on your business card.

Articulate, speak clearly
Allow them to ask questions (they may be pensive).
Avoid negative readings.
Allude to positive outcomes.
Agree with the sitter.
Believe in yourself
Blend statements; don’t fall into a staccato spewing of keywords. (Biggest evil of all.)
Build up esteem, ego, and intelligence.
Credit your client as being smarter…
Channel intuitive information to your client – don’t be afraid.
Charm


PS: Hunt down some of my old post series called "the Process" - I buried a lot of stuff for building rapport in live readings there.

 

[MystiqueMoonlight]

When I do a live read I often tell the subject not to answer any of my questions accept for a yes or a no. Often as I read I will ask questions out loud that, to the subject, may seems I am asking him/her when in fact I may be speaking to the Tarot, thinking out loud as it were. As Umbrae says your reading isn't necessarily a monologue.

Sure people expect the burning candles, the skull or what ever but you may need to centre yourself before beginning your live read. What processes do you take before you begin to read? For me I ask the subject to take a seat, I light a white candle in which I scribe the subject's birth date into and rub an essential oil corresponding to their star sign. I do this in front of the subject as they watch, then I sit, draw a deep breath and begin.

 

[tmgrl2]

Umbrae...what a great summary of key points...I do reread your Process essays on a regular basis....this mini-checklist is quite helpful...good things to remember...I printed it out to flash over from time to time...

Sometimes, the real basic stuff can be overlooked ...especially, if we read a lot...like the necessity when performing of having the play or performance carry that "first time" quality.

terri

 

[Satori]

This is one of those things that just has to be experienced, I think, for you to be able to take the wonderful bits of advice I've seen posted here.

You will develop a style, a flow of reading that will be very personal and unique to you.

The more readings you do the more your style will personalize.

As for monologuing., well it happens.
Sometimes there seems to be a huge well of information for someone; but they don't want to really hear it. Instead they want to talk, burn your ear off, and pay you for the pleasure of listening. I've learned to listen, speak if an opportunity presents itself and to ask, "The Tarot has more to say on this if you would like to hear it." Kindly of course.

Sometimes, the cards lie there like a bunch of dead fish and you as a reader are trying to make sense of the whole bunch of them.

And if I'm really at a loss, I will sometimes say, "What image are you most drawn to in this card?" And then use that as a springboard for a conversation with them about what they picked.

If you remember to keep your options open you will always have a good reading, or at least a passing good one!

Good luck!!

 

[Emeraldgirl]

I like to show the cards to the person I am reading for so that they can really look at them and I tell them upfront if anything jumps out at you don't be afraid to mention it. I try to treat face to face readings as a conversation as I think it helps relax both myself (I still get soooooooooooooooo nervous even when reading for friends) and the person receiving the reading.

 

[magpie9]

There are lots of really good points made here...here, (hopefully) are some more.(IMHO)

Get grounded and stay grounded. Feel your feet on the floor or your behind on the chair. when I loose my grounding, I loose connection with the sitter, and the 'thread' I'm following.

Make frequent eye contact. You are 2 human beings connecting and communicating. Look deeply. somebody lives in there.

Engage them in everything you can. engage thier minds, their spirits, their energy. Engage them in conversation, engage them in the symbolism, engage them in the pattern. Engage them. Getting a reading is not a spectator sport. Doing a reading shouldn't have to be a one-man-band.

Smile when applicable, and really smile when you smile.

Read their body language, it's right there for you to see, and take direction from. It tells the truth.

Keep your body langage relaxed and open--it will help you to be relaxed and open.

When in doubt, Breathe.
Keep breathing.

Remember that it is normal to be a little nervious at the start of a reading. We all are. Ground. Breathe. Light a candle or pray for courage. Whatever works.
And keep track of whatever works; then do it some more.


Remember that it is a safe assumption (if there is such a thing!) that people usually want practical soultions and advice, no matter the subject matter. We stand on Earth. It quickly becomes clear when they want a more spiritual (or karmic etc) approach. Most of the time they are aware enough to tell you that right up front.

And last but not least--
Most of the time the true purpose of a "general" reading is to pin-point what they really want to know, whether they know it or not.