How to share this private information with the querent?

[Grizabella]

I much prefer reading face-to-face, although I do email, chat, read on the forum, and do chat readings as well if it comes up. Face-to-face is so much more personal for someone who really needs that personal contact. At least for me.

 

[Melisandre]

I think it's just nervousness about having to interpret everything quickly when you're face-to-face. I'm still learning, and that feeling of being "on the spot" is intimidating! I like the ability to walk away from the reading, and come back to it. I think face-to-face also makes me more nervous about meeting the sitter's expectations. I've only read face-to-face for the people I am closest to, I guess because I feel more comfortable with them.

 

[nisaba]

The reading I did has turned up some very, very personal things that I feel sort of uncomfortable discussing with him. He is openly gay, but I know that he had a hard time coming out (his family is very traditional/religious). A lot of the reading seems to pertain to how difficult a time this was for him.

Is there ever a point where you censor yourself in a reading, in order to allow the querent their sense of privacy?

Nope. It's a discussion between the cards and him, you are merely a translator. Occasionally it might be necessary to remind him that readings are utterly confidential and won't be repeated. It's sometimes also a good thing to say something like "I understand this is awful for you and my heart goes out to you, but this is what teh cards are trying to tell you".

Never had to censor.

 

[Rev_Vesta]

Never Censor it is about finding a way to deliver the message with compassion and understanding.....and know you care enough not to share this knowledge with anyone else....aslong it is done with integrity and from the heart you will be fine.... Trust in self and know the message you deliver is only done from the heart.....

Take care

 

[Dixie]

Never Censor it is about finding a way to deliver the message with compassion and understanding.....and know you care enough not to share this knowledge with anyone else....aslong it is done with integrity and from the heart you will be fine.... Trust in self and know the message you deliver is only done from the heart.....

Take care

I know this discussion is a few days old, but I have to say here, every single time I've censored myself in a reading, I've come to regret it and ended up feeling like it wasn't the right thing to do, for a variety of reasons (depending on the reading). I think we get what we get because we're supposed to get it. Doesn't make it easier to deliver sometimes, but I seriously get karmic kicks every time I play editor...

 

[SunChariot]

I was asked by a friend of mine to do a reading about his next romantic relationship. This is a friend of a friend, actually, who I enjoy very much but don't know on a deep personal level yet. He asked me to do this reading for him when he heard that I was studying the Tarot.

The reading I did has turned up some very, very personal things that I feel sort of uncomfortable discussing with him. He is openly gay, but I know that he had a hard time coming out (his family is very traditional/religious). A lot of the reading seems to pertain to how difficult a time this was for him.

Is there ever a point where you censor yourself in a reading, in order to allow the querent their sense of privacy? I really don't think he would have a problem discussing any of this with me, but I also don't think he realized quite how personal a reading can be....

Any advice would be appreciated.

Not for that reason, no. It is my firm belief, although other people may have other beliefs, that whatever it is that we see we saw it for a reason. And that reason is that the querent needs to know it. If they did not, it would not have come up.

To me it is as simple as that. What is meant to come up and for us to tell the querent WILL come up. And what is not meant to just WON'T come up. I believe the answers come from a wise source that knows all and it does not send info that we are not meant to pass on. What comes up,comes up because the querent needs to hear it. To deprive them of that is both unkind becasue we are depriving of something meant to benefit them, and it is disrespecful to the source that sends us the message in the first place. To me that source IS the Divine and I take that seriously.

That being said, and again those are just my views on it, I think most querents know that there will be personal things coming up in a reading. They are not expecting a weather report, they know the answers can get personal and are about their personal lives. This is not going to be a big surprise to most people. But if you feel iffy about this, you can tell each querent before you read for them that when you do a reading you have no idea what may come up beforehand but that the answer may get personal, do they still want yo to continue. If they say yes, you can have clear conscience.

If the answer had a lot to do with the difficult time he was having, he clearly needs help with the issues behind it and the cards are trying to give that help. The way I see it, it is your job/respinsibility (once you accept a reading) to give him that help once the solution is in your hands nad the cards are talking to you.

So, no that is one place where I do not censor myself. If I am shown the way to help someone, I help them and I presume they know that a reading can bring up personal things before they come to me. I presume that if someone comes to me for a reading, for help, the help is the larger issue, over the privacy.

Babs

 

[SunChariot]

Nope. It's a discussion between the cards and him, you are merely a translator. Occasionally it might be necessary to remind him that readings are utterly confidential and won't be repeated. It's sometimes also a good thing to say something like "I understand this is awful for you and my heart goes out to you, but this is what teh cards are trying to tell you".

Never had to censor.

Very very good answer! There is a lot of wisdom in it.

Babs

 

[Trogon]

Nope, I have to vote with the "do NOT censor" group. The problem with censoring the information being provided is that we don't know where to stop ... how much to censor. To me, my job is (as others have mentioned) to provide the information that the querent is supposed to get. Who am I to say "no, they shouldn't hear that"? However ... that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it ... you don't have to be harsh in your delivery (unless, for some reason, there may be a need for it).

In fact, needless harshness is one of my problems with one well known medium who appears on TV sometimes. Her deliveries of painful messages are usually given in such an uncaring, almost flippant manner that it really puts me off. She comes across as if she's saying "well, here, this hurts you but I don't really care because it's what you need to know and I've said this to hundreds of people before." I don't think that is what she really feels, but it usually sounds that way to me.

I recently did a reading which showed me that the person I was reading for was having Alzheimer's symptoms. I have to tell her, but I can still be gentle. I can say, "I'm sorry, these cards are showing me that you're having some memory loss and I'm afraid I see the possibility of Alzheimer's here." (That is what her Dr. and she were thinking - there was a history in her family. I've heard back from her ... it was worse. Apparently dozens of little clots in her brain.)

There is still one other aspect of this. If you omit information from your reading ... something you think might be painful for your client to have to discuss, or too private to bring up ... what if they were expecting you to bring it up? Will they not think; "well, she's not very good ... I really wanted some insight into x, y and z, and she didn't even see it though it's very important." It would be a bit like going to a Dr. for your sore throat and fever and having him look at your eyes and say "you're a little jaundiced, you'll be fine, take some vitamins" (yeah ... this actually happened to me ... went to another Dr. and had to get treated for the worst case of strep throat I've ever had). Basically, you don't want to limit yourself by censoring yourself. If you see it in the cards or receive it from your Spirit Guide ... pass it on to the querent - it is what they came to you for. (Besides, pulling up information that they know you have absolutely no way of knowing ... absolutely amazes people ... especially if they've never had a reading before. )

 

[Melisandre]

Wow, thank you all for the wonderful advice! I thought I'd update on how it went, and that is, I *think* quite well, although he didn't really give me much feedback on it.

Either way, judging by all of your responses, I think I did the right thing in relaying all of the information to him, and in a gentle way.

 

[Trogon]

Wow, thank you all for the wonderful advice! I thought I'd update on how it went, and that is, I *think* quite well, although he didn't really give me much feedback on it.

Either way, judging by all of your responses, I think I did the right thing in relaying all of the information to him, and in a gentle way.

I think you'll be happier with that choice in the long run.