I need help... (questions from a newbie)

[Kiti von Absinthe]

I've had a lifetime fascination with tarot and all things mystical. Recently, I picked up my first deck and started reading. I often feel imbecilic, or inferior to my deck. When I pick up my cards, I often get the feeling of being a high school freshman looking for her algebra 1 class, but getting lost and accidentally finding herself sitting in a college-prep calculus class. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. I rarely feel as if the cards are speaking to me, and I often find myself struggling to figure out the relevance of the meanings. I just performed a spread I came across here on ATF, to tell me what my deck thinks of me. -- Here's the link of the thread: http://tarotforum.net/showthread.php?p=3346633#post3346633

My results are on there if you wish to look for them. As an example of my problem, the first card I drew was the 10 of Wands (Reversed), which is the answer to the question, "What do you (my deck) like about me?"

My booklet says one thing, while the meaning I find on ATF is different. As I understand, this card is telling me that my deck says either:
1. it enjoys the chaos in my life, -or-
2. it enjoys that I pass my responsibilities on to others.

I have no idea which is right, so as with the rest of this reading. My intuitions aren't telling me one way or another. I'm starting to feel very defeated, and as if I simply don't have what it takes to read tarot. I know the ability to read comfortably doesn't happen overnight, and many people take decades to get to the level they're at. I feel as if my deck could talk, it would tell me that we just don't link up, that I'm a bother and my inabilities are a nuisance.

On the note of being a newbie, I must say that for most of my life I've felt like the "little sister". You know, you're the older brother or sister, and you want to go spend time with your friends but mom convinces to bring me with you. I'm too young to understand you or your friends, and definitely too young to be cool no matter how hard I try. I feel like I'm a bother to experienced readers, like I ask too many stupid questions


Can anyone out there help me?
Are these problems common among new readers?
Which meanings am I supposed to go by? (the ones on ATF, or the ones in my booklet?)
How do I make the meanings easier to understand?
Am I thinking too much?
Am I not thinking enough?
Am I trying too hard?
Am I not trying enough?
What am I doing wrong?
What can I do different?
Any further suggestions?
Am I annoying yet?


I'm so confused...

 

[dawntarot]

I really understand how you feel. This was me in the early days. I had the "original" RWS deck and was going to be the most serious and dedicated reader, I would take those cards with me everywhere. I took the whole thing very very seriously indeed, totally ignoring the fact that I disliked the artwork on that deck and indeed felt intimidated by it (I knew very little about the occult then and still do).

The problem in my case was that I was not connecting with the deck. The art and symbolism didn't "speak" to me at all. Knowing the extensive popularity of this deck made me feel hopelessly inadequate.

A friend bought me the Pagan Cats deck and overnight, I could read. The art touched me, the symbols used were familiar to me. I spent three years struggling with the RWS because I thought it was "real" tarot.

In short, I was taking it all far too seriously. No way was my intuition going to speak if I tried to force it. It's just not the way it works for me.

So: try a different deck. Pick one that speaks to your heart, not what you think it "should" be. Play solitaire with it. Pull a random card and free write. Draw your own version of it with crayons. If you're not getting on with RWS, try a Thoth-style deck or a Marseilles. Put a card under your pillow and see if you can link your dreams to it. Experiment. Have fun! It's just a tool for you to use however you please. Yes, tarot can be the conduit for a lifetime of study, and what you learn will add to your readings.

But don't let the study suck the fun out of it.

Dawn

 

[moon]

Might I suggest a book called A Magical Course in Tarot? It outlines a much more freeform approach reading the cards. Maybe that will work better for you. Also, yes, find a deck that you really love.

For the longest time I was very concerned with doing all of this the "right" way, and I got nowhere in my studies. There is something to be gained by at least familiarizing oneself with tradition, but don't be afraid to dive in and try new things, make things up as you go, etc. Use trial and error to develop your own personal system. There is no right way to do this. You just have to find what is right for you.

Sent from my PI86100 using Board Express

 

[Tigerangel]

Is this the deck you are using? http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/deviant-moon/

I think this is a deck that properly would hit readers on a very subconsious level, maybe starting with the Rider Waite Smith or similiar might help you get over your initial block before you try to read with the Deviant Moon again, My first deck was the Cosmic Tarot but my learning started with book and online learning courses based on the RWS like this one http://www.learntarot.com/top.htm

And I used to just pull a card every morning with the Cosmic, write what I thought it meant for the day ahead, then checked back to write how my day actually was, then after a few months it all started to fit together.

Good luck with your learning and try to have fun with it as stressing over it will just block your own natural intuition more.

 

[Maryon]

I've had a lifetime fascination with tarot and all things mystical. Recently, I picked up my first deck and started reading. I often feel imbecilic, or inferior to my deck. When I pick up my cards, I often get the feeling of being a high school freshman looking for her algebra 1 class, but getting lost and accidentally finding herself sitting in a college-prep calculus class. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. I rarely feel as if the cards are speaking to me, and I often find myself struggling to figure out the relevance of the meanings. I just performed a spread I came across here on ATF, to tell me what my deck thinks of me. -- Here's the link of the thread: http://tarotforum.net/showthread.php?p=3346633#post3346633

My results are on there if you wish to look for them. As an example of my problem, the first card I drew was the 10 of Wands (Reversed), which is the answer to the question, "What do you (my deck) like about me?"

My booklet says one thing, while the meaning I find on ATF is different. As I understand, this card is telling me that my deck says either:
1. it enjoys the chaos in my life, -or-
2. it enjoys that I pass my responsibilities on to others.

I have no idea which is right, so as with the rest of this reading. My intuitions aren't telling me one way or another. I'm starting to feel very defeated, and as if I simply don't have what it takes to read tarot. I know the ability to read comfortably doesn't happen overnight, and many people take decades to get to the level they're at. I feel as if my deck could talk, it would tell me that we just don't link up, that I'm a bother and my inabilities are a nuisance.

On the note of being a newbie, I must say that for most of my life I've felt like the "little sister". You know, you're the older brother or sister, and you want to go spend time with your friends but mom convinces to bring me with you. I'm too young to understand you or your friends, and definitely too young to be cool no matter how hard I try. I feel like I'm a bother to experienced readers, like I ask too many stupid questions


Can anyone out there help me?
Are these problems common among new readers?
Which meanings am I supposed to go by? (the ones on ATF, or the ones in my booklet?)
How do I make the meanings easier to understand?
Am I thinking too much?
Am I not thinking enough?
Am I trying too hard?
Am I not trying enough?
What am I doing wrong?
What can I do different?
Any further suggestions?
Am I annoying yet?


I'm so confused...

hi and welcome

i really recommed a book called "living the tarot" by amber jayanti....its a journey through each card of the major arcana in a very experiential way. it encourages the development of yourself and intuitive relationship with your cards.

i like this idea of asking your cards how they see you....I think I will do that

try not to worry about how things are going with your cards....connection is the most important thing....do you feel connected to your deck?

x Maryon X

 

[newlillith]

It might help you to let go of what the book says at first. I believe that when we are feeling a certain way about a question that our deck reflects that back to us. So if we ask about a relationship we're anxious about, and don't let go of that anxiety before the reading, our deck reflects that back to us with a lot of swords cards. So here's the deal. If you're trying to develop intuition (which it sounds like you are), find cards that don't feel intimidating to you and know that there's no wrong way to read them. It might help you to let go of the book at first. Here is how I do readings:

1. Do a grounding meditation and let go of any attachment to the question by grounding it.
2. Do my own routine for shuffling (create one for yourself, this will help you feel some control over the reading)
3. When you first pull out the cards, do a quick note of what your first impressions are. Clear your mind for this and don't pay any attention to the book--what do you think? Just go with what first pops into your head. Don't question it.
4. Look at each card more in-depth, still without the book. Look at their relation to each other and meditate on a card if it's confusing you. Enter into the card and ask it what it wants to tell you.
5. After you do the reading intuitively (because that's what you've been doing!) then pull out the book. Let it add depth to your reading, but don't let it be the authority.

It sounds like you need practice giving authority to your own thoughts. Maybe this way of reading will help you do that. At first you might feel like your readings are off, but the more you practice reading what you feel and think is right, the more your intuition will develop.


Also, your questions aren't stupid and if anyone tells you they are they can just go screw themselves. You are trying to LEARN! That is a great thing to be doing, ok? There are a lot of sources and people who are very "serious" about tarot and the occult symbolism. You can choose to be one of them when you're ready, but for right now try to embrace the learning curve. Be serious about studying, but have fun and trust yourself.

 

[Melisandre]

Might I suggest a book called A Magical Course in Tarot? It outlines a much more freeform approach reading the cards. Maybe that will work better for you.

I second the suggestion on this book. I have it and found it very useful for finding my own personal way of relating to the cards.

 

[VGimlet]

I think we all felt the same way when we started, with maybe just a few exceptions.

The first thing is to relax.

I agree, even though you love love love your current deck, you might want to start out with one of the 'basic' decks, just because I think they are easier to learn with. That's not to say you CAN'T start out with the deck you have.

 

[raeanne]

Hi and welcome!

Are these problems common among new readers?
-----YES - Absoluetely! I had more questions than answers and was totally confused
Which meanings am I supposed to go by? (the ones on ATF, or the ones in my booklet?)
-----Neither. Look at the picture and decide for yourself what this card is telling you.
How do I make the meanings easier to understand?
-----Take a card and write down everything you see on that card. Then ask yourself what these elements mean to you.
Am I thinking too much?
-----No, but you may be pushing a little too much. Relax and enjoy Tarot.
Am I not thinking enough?
-----No, but you may want to focus your thinking a bit on some of the details on the cards.
Am I trying too hard?
-----Again, no, but maybe wanting results quicker than is possible.
Am I not trying enough?
-----No, everyone proceeds at their own pace.
What am I doing wrong?
-----Nothing. As I said, you might be expecting too much of yourself. This takes time.
What can I do different?
-----Don't depend on others. Tarot is very personal. Find what works for you.
Any further suggestions?
-----Practice, practice, practice...
Am I annoying yet?
-----Nope, keep asking questions!!!

 

[lilangel09]

Whew! Take a deep breath and relax. When I started reading, I was just like you, very insecure with doing readings. I thought other meanings were superior to my own, so I would reach for AT's book of meanings or something else pre-written instead of what I thought the card was saying. In essence, stifling my own voice.

One way you find your own voice, as a beginner, is to look at the cards and reflect on them. You can use the little white booklet or AT's meanings as a guide, but if you hold on to them too tightly, you will have a lot of difficulty finding your own meanings and will feel very uncomfortable using your own meanings. You may even feel so uncomfortable that halfway through a reading you grab a book to use its meanings. Doing this might be okay in the beginning, but I would curb the tendency until I wasn't doing it at all.

One thing about the little white booklet, AT's meanings, or even other websites/books is they don't necessarily have the same deck as you! They are often based on the Raider-Waite images or the Thoth. So the first thing to do is take a good look at your deck.
Some of the other meanings may resonate with how you feel about the picture, but there may be some things that, only you yourself think about the image! So, you see how other meanings cannot completely replace yours. Sure, a companion book will be more specific to the deck, but it's not a good idea to use it to replace your own creativity.

Back to finding your own voice... Personally, Umbrae's suggestion for daily readings helped. I drew two cards at the end of the day and reflected on them/related them to the day. First card is the challenge of the day; second card is the way to overcome the challenge. I wrote them down in a journal.

If you have a particularly fearful or nervous/anxious disposition, jumping into readings right away can be very difficult because you tend to panic until you blank (aka. "think/worry too much"). Jumping into readings can be easier for some, especially if they socialize a lot.

Okay, the second suggestion to getting over the heebie-jeebies is to try the exchange forum or read for others in real life. You may be inclined to use a book, but eventually, you'll learn to trust your own meanings over the book's when people give positive feedback. You'll also learn what couldn't be spotted by book meanings but was spotted by you.

Oh, one other thing. It's suggested that newbies don't use reversals until they get used to the upright meanings first. This is so you understand your basic meanings before you get all fancy with them.