inappropriate feelings

[nisaba]

I don't need advice. I know what to do, and I'm doing it. I just want to talk about it.

This afternoon, I did a perfectly normal reading for a perfectly normal client.

She was wearing her uniform, identifying her as the employee of a business I walk past regularly (a toyshop, actually). Early forties, slightly overweight, short, curly hair, a fantastic pewter or tarnished silver torc around her neck with Celtic knotwork etched into its surface. No more or less special than anyone else.

I immediately lusted after her. Okay, so I put my own reactions aside, and did the reading. It showed a stable relationship being slightly affected by step-parenting and money issues, but with great long-term prospects. I said all of that and more.

<sigh>

I can't make a pass at a client, and I can't make a pass at someone in a happy relationship (or any relationship, really). I *certainly* am not corrupt enough to advice her to leave someone who obviously suited her very well just to free her up for my own nefarious purposes.

Damn.

Another good one off the market.

 

[Alta]

That will happen though, and unless any of us are dead it will. I have had inappropriate feelings towards colleagues before and never let them out. Double for clients who could be shocked and even bad-mouth you.

I know you know, just sharing that I truly get this and consider it a part of the human condition.

Alta

 

[xdiminished]

Sorry to hear about your missed connection. As someone who who has inappropriate feelings in one way or another about every 45 minutes, I can relate.

The important thing is when you look back at whole situation you can say with confidence that you retained your integrity and stayed professional at all times. Impressive. Especially considering that your craft requires meeting many different people and finding out about them on a personal level.

 

[nisaba]

Thanks, both of you.

XD, every 45 minutes? That's just sad <laughter>.

 

[canid]

Oh, c'mon, he's a doode, what do you expect. That'll change in another 30 yrs or so - trust me.

 

[Wendywu]

I remember a while back my husband and I were visiting a tourist attraction. The woman showing us round was flat out incredibly sexy. It was a hydroponic garden place and she had dirty hands, messy hair, overalls, wellington boots and I still remember every scrap of her face and hands.

So does my husband - who had exactly the same reaction lol. We talked about it after we'd left the garden and were amused by the fact we both reacted the same way to her, but neither of us showed it at all. We would never pursue an attraction because we are in an exclusive relationship but I do know what you mean Nisaba. Some people just are an instant "yes". But usually either the circumstances or the timing is just so skew-whiff. You know, it was about 7 years ago we went to that garden .....

 

[Starshower]

Fancying people & not being able / willing to do anything about it is the Story Of My Life. (It's worst of all when it's about one's own partner. )
So mucho sympathy, Nisaba. Next time - may appropriateness & reciprocity be yours!

I SO understand what you mean, Wendywu!

 

[214red]

lifes a pain like that sometimes nisaba!
I have had a few similar things, but sometimes the universe works in a weird way and the guy contacted me a year later when he was single again (he had split up with his g/f 6 months previous), was weird doing the reading though

 

[nisaba]

I remember a while back my husband and I were visiting a tourist attraction. The woman showing us round was flat out incredibly sexy. It was a hydroponic garden place and she had dirty hands, messy hair, overalls, wellington boots and I still remember every scrap of her face and hands.

Unaccountable sexiness, I often think, is a combined result of being supremely comfortable with themselves and wearing the God/dess (depending on your gender) very close to your skin.

The two most drop-dead, gorgeous-sexy, bonk-in-an-instant women in public life that I lust after and that you'd be likely to know are both comedians: Dawn French and Wendy Harmer. Neither of them are exactly page-three models. Both of them are far more arresting, interesting and sexy than any model on the face of the earth. Sexiness has *nothing* to do with bodies - it has to do with character in some way. Your gardener sounds a bit the same, and being covered in dirt only helps - who wouldn't fall for a living, breathing Earth-Goddess? <grin>

The older I get, the more comfortable I am (or at least, resigned I am) to desiring people I know I have no hope whatever of getting into a relationship with: not only public figures, but women like today's client. It is right and proper to recognise sexiness when it crosses your path. It would have been utterly wrong and improper to have done anything about it. I will keep the memory of her smile and her thank-you hug at the end as a jewel in my mind until it fades with time. And that, too, will be okay.

 

[stefficus]

i'm not a dude... but i get the "every 45 minutes" thing. it happens. *shrug*

he did say one way or the other - sometimes i take an instant and irrational dislike to someone, bordering on revulsion. i think, on balance, those people would be much harder to read for. it's such an intimate situation in many ways, and if my lip is curling just seeing them, i don't know if i could hide my reaction if they actually (ew!) wanted something from me.

but attraction? sometimes it's sad or difficult, but i manage to hide that all the time.