Is the refusal to answer yes/no questions in a reading a "cop-out"?

[Dain]

Your friend is a bit full of himself isn't he? LOL

I don't do yes/no questions not because I'm unsure of my abilities but because I am absolutely sure of them! In the case of yes/no questions I have found through experience that I am absolutely unable to get an accurate reading!

For me to do a yes/no reading I might as well just abandon my cards in order to flip a coin. The results of a coin toss would be no more or less accurate than I am with a yes/no question with the tarot.

Every reader has their strengths and weaknesses. If someone is good with yes/no questions and wants to answer them that's fine, but I have the utmost respect for those of us who are aware enough of ourselves and our own abilities that we don't feel the need to try to do something we know we can't.

My friend can be a little rigid with his views. Then again, so can I, so even though we agree on many, many things, when we disagree, sparks fly sometimes.
You expressed my feelings exactly! Why use the tarot if you can have a yes/no answer by flipping a coin, or using a pendulum, or another form of divination?
Not that there's anything inherently wrong with asking yes/no questions (Many tarotists who carry a deck at all times, use one card for a quick yes/no answer). It's just that I think a reader ought to make the sitter aware of all the information that can be obtained thru a reading, when a question is asked correctly. After all, a reading (especially a professional one) is about the sitter, not the reader (within certain, logical limits, of course).

I partially agree with you, and I partially agree with your friend. A good reader will answer a yes/no question with whatever information they are provided by the cards. Sometimes the answer will have a blatantly clear lean towards either yes or no, sometimes additional information is provided because that's what is needed, and etc. I think it's a little presumptuous to assume that a yes/no question cannot be answered... seems a little bit controlling of the "force" so-to-speak... which could be interpreted as a cop-out in some instances, sure. Some people are just geared to control so they can make sense of something, while others feel just as in control letting the cards speak outside of a pre-defined context (or an "ill-defined" context, as a yes/no question is as suggested by popular opinion).

Yes, I agree that many answers tend towards one or the other end if there is a question (as opposed to other types of readings). If the sitter insists on a yes/no answer or wants the reader to "cut to the chase" after s/he has made the sitter aware of all the options... well... then... I don't know. Not having much experience with reading for other people, I'm not the right person to answer that question.

 

[Cenozoic]

I could just imagine a tarot reader just answering 'yes', 'no', 'no', 'yes'... like an answering machine. I have to wonder what kind of sitter would buy into that. Would they think that the tarot reader as just a phoney?

I agree that a coin toss would be more suited for those types of answers.

I mean most readers would just tell the sitters not to use yes/no questions, because they want the sitter to get the most information and details out of their questions.

But on the opposite side, the most simple things like a yes/no question, can be the most difficult as well. There is complexity in simplicity. I would say that sometimes the cards will yell out a yes/no, but at other times it can be quite confusing to decipher between a yes/no, because there are just so many ways of interpreting one card.

Every reader will do what they're comfortable with though. I think it's a bit presumptuous to think that just because you don't do something a certain way, it will automatically mean that you don't think you're good enough, or that you don't trust it enough, or that it's your responsibility to do something that you're not comfortable with. I mean, let's leave the decision up to the reader, and not make a rule out of it.

 

[poppiesrossi]

For me to do a yes/no reading I might as well just abandon my cards in order to flip a coin. The results of a coin toss would be no more or less accurate than I am with a yes/no question with the tarot.

Yup I would even dare say that coin flip might be more accurate.. I have actually used the coin flip when I couldn't make a decision.. on pretty significant ones too. But I am a believer in fate or destiny coinciding with free will.

That being said.. yes.. sometimes the answer is clear yes or no if you draw several cards and the message comes clear... but it doesn't happen every single time.. and maybe the reader might be having an off day.. or the card isn't working that well.. being a bit tempermental. No matter how gifted I think someone is as a reader.. personally.. I wouldn't put a decision into someone else's hands.. but that's just me. I don't think it's a cop out. I think it's a responsible way of reading for others. But if someone chooses to read with yes or no questions.. then more power to them.

 

[EyeAmEye]

I had a discussion with a very close friend yesterday about tarot and the debate got a bit heated. He said he thought tarotists who refuse to answer yes/no questions for a sitter or ask the sitter to rephrase the question were unsure of their own abilities, did not trust tarot enough, and that behavior was a "cop-out" from responsibility as a reader.

My position was that it's not a cop out. It's an evolution of tarot reading, based on a non-deterministic model of the future and a rephrasing of the question resulted in the sitter feeling more empowered and with more options towards determining his/her own future!
Also, I felt that a yes/no question - and reading - especially for more serious matters would leave the sitter either with the sense that the universe "will take care of everything" without taking responsibility for his/her future, or sad and disempowered against "fate".

What do you think?

Coming from someone who is getting really tired of the societal overuse of the word "empower" and believing very strongly in predetermination of most of life's events, I would have to agree with your friend. I believe tarot can very easily answer a yes/no with utmost accuracy, it's the reader that may or may be able to do so. If you are confident & experienced enough, it's very possible.

That said, I am more than happy to read yes/no questions with full confidence in my less than stellar accuracy. It's the only way to ever hope to gain the experience necessary. Any other way, in my opinion, you're selling both yourself and the tarot itself very, very short. Of course, if you read tarot as a hobby, there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Dain]

Coming from someone who is getting really tired of the societal overuse of the word "empower" and believing very strongly in predetermination of most of life's events, I would have to agree with your friend. I believe tarot can very easily answer a yes/no with utmost accuracy, it's the reader that may or may be able to do so. If you are confident & experienced enough, it's very possible.

That said, I am more than happy to read yes/no questions with full confidence in my less than stellar accuracy. It's the only way to ever hope to gain the experience necessary. Any other way, in my opinion, you're selling both yourself and the tarot itself very, very short. Of course, if you read tarot as a hobby, there is nothing wrong with that.

I understand what you mean about "empowerment" being overused. To me, it's what "knowledge is power" means. Having information and options empowers one to make correct decisions. That is to say, "empowerment" isn't about "feeling good" or "being in control" or even "stroking the ego". One can feel good of course when they understand their options in anything (especially creative and positive options) and how to apply said options.
Personally, both as sitter and reader I'd like to receive or give as much information/knowledge as possible on a question, not just a yes/no answer.

 

[EyeAmEye]

Personally, both as sitter and reader I'd like to receive or give as much information/knowledge as possible on a question, not just a yes/no answer.

I wasn't suggesting that the reader need to be restricted to simply answering yes or no. Of course, the details are important and a good reading would include the details of why the answer is yes or no.

What I meant was I believe tarot can give an unconditional answer yes or no given the question asked. Not every thing in life can be bent to your will. There are some things that will happen in your life completely independent of your actions (or in some cases, your inaction). In those circumstances, the tarot should be able to answer with a definitive yes or no and give the details explaining the ultimate yes/no answer.

 

[Dain]

I wasn't suggesting that the reader need to be restricted to simply answering yes or no. Of course, the details are important and a good reading would include the details of why the answer is yes or no.

What I meant was I believe tarot can give an unconditional answer yes or no given the question asked. Not every thing in life can be bent to your will. There are some things that will happen in your life completely independent of your actions (or in some cases, your inaction). In those circumstances, the tarot should be able to answer with a definitive yes or no and give the details explaining the ultimate yes/no answer.

Yes, it can. And yes, there are many things in life that won't be bent to our will or cannot even be predicted. I suppose it's a matter of believing or not believing in predetermined outcomes (without going to extremes either way. Some things are already predetermined anyway).

I wasn't referring to using the tarot as a pendulum either. Of course a yes/no question and answer includes more information. I was talking about going that "extra mile" to give more options, alternate solutions, another way of seeing things, etc. which a non-deterministic question would include be default. I realize of course that a resounding "NO" may not have any "alternate solutions" in which case a sitter could suggest a change in course.

 

[SunChariot]

I had a discussion with a very close friend yesterday about tarot and the debate got a bit heated. He said he thought tarotists who refuse to answer yes/no questions for a sitter or ask the sitter to rephrase the question were unsure of their own abilities, did not trust tarot enough, and that behavior was a "cop-out" from responsibility as a reader.

My position was that it's not a cop out. It's an evolution of tarot reading, based on a non-deterministic model of the future and a rephrasing of the question resulted in the sitter feeling more empowered and with more options towards determining his/her own future!
Also, I felt that a yes/no question - and reading - especially for more serious matters would leave the sitter either with the sense that the universe "will take care of everything" without taking responsibility for his/her future, or sad and disempowered against "fate".

What do you think?

Here is my opinion on that. The short answer it No.

I feel that as readers we need to not follow set rules on what works for us, but to set out to find out for ourselves.

I tried a lot in the beginning to do Yes/No questions. Hey I tried out most techniques when I was learning. But yes/no questions I worked on for months and honestly I could have gotten better answers by just guessing. I was just getting random cards.

Now here was the clincher for me. After months of trying I just up and ASKED my deck if yes/no questions would EVER work for me. They gave me a very clear NO! That was like the only time they ever worked. Hey I can take a hint. They cards were telling me they will never ever work for me, I think that means it is time to give it up.

That is not a cop out. I was told they would never work for me. It would be pretty dumb on my part to continue using them after that point.

Here is what I personally believe it is. Yes/no questions tend to be about the future. As we often or usually know what is happening the present of what has happened in the past.

In most cases, the future has not been written in a defiintive way. Sure we may be heading in a specific direction but most times that can be changed.

Yes/no questions paint the world in black and white, when in reality there are many many shades of grey and all the colours of the rainbow too.

When we ask about the future, the answers can often be maybe. Or yes, if this happens and no if that happens. But since things can still be changed and we cannot yet know with absolute certainty if this or that will happen. Then a definitive yes or no is not possible.

Those are my beliefs on why what card often do not want to answer us in that way. They seem to prefer to answer in paragraph, story form. If you ask "Will I pass my English exam next week?" the answer may be that if you study just from the book no, but if you really pay attention to your notes that will give you the edge you need and then yes you will...
If you see where I am going with this.

So if we ask instead, "What do I need to know about if I will pass my English exam next week?" Then the cards can actually tell you "If you want to pass, get out your notes and study" And that is really what we most need to know. Not IF something will happen on its own, but how to create it in our lives.

Babs

 

[SunChariot]

Your friend is a bit full of himself isn't he? LOL

I don't do yes/no questions not because I'm unsure of my abilities but because I am absolutely sure of them! In the case of yes/no questions I have found through experience that I am absolutely unable to get an accurate reading!

For me to do a yes/no reading I might as well just abandon my cards in order to flip a coin. The results of a coin toss would be no more or less accurate than I am with a yes/no question with the tarot.

Every reader has their strengths and weaknesses. If someone is good with yes/no questions and wants to answer them that's fine, but I have the utmost respect for those of us who are aware enough of ourselves and our own abilities that we don't feel the need to try to do something we know we can't.

Agree 100%. As a reader, you need to know what works for you and where your skills lie. and if something does not work for you personally, it makes no sense to continue using it. We are all individuals with talents that are individual to each of us. We need to work with who we are inside, not try to be something we are not.

Babs

 

[Druid11]

I found some of the comments posted here very interesting and, at the same time, some what wrong as well, this of course is from my perspective.

If anything is true about the tarot is that it's a connection between you and the universe, as i see it, it's like our google (by our i mean tarotists), our internet connection to that knowledge vault it's hard to name.

Ask yourself this, how many times do you go online asking on your Facebook, twitter or Youtube account, to name a few, if you should or should not do X thing? Think about this for a second. More often than not, we go to the internet to researched, to ask for opinions, to look for knowledge to understand X situation and then make a decision based on the pros and cons.

On the other hand, the universe wants you to do whatever you want to do, it will not limit you by a mere yes or no answer, it will rather let you learn from what you experience, of course, it will give you advise, but it will never limit YOU to follow someone else choice.

Again, this is my own point of view, please digress if you feel it is far fetch. I do disagree on the fact that answering a yes/no questions makes you a better or worse reader.