Is the woman of the 9 of Pents alone in life?

[kmagdalena09]

I recently got out of a 2 year on and off, rather toxic relationship and have to watch my roommate and friends frolic around in love, and it's starting to feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have someone. I know that's a really immature way of looking at things, but alas. I did a reading whether or not I'd find someone in 2015 (doesn't have to be "the one," just read about my relationship status overall in the upcoming year.)

The outcome card was the 9 of Pents. She comes up a lot when I ask about any future love. My intuition tells me I'm going to be focused more on earnings and career than men, and while I do have to say that career and accomplishment ARE far more important to me than romantic relationships, it would be nice to have a partner to share it with. I have somewhat of a fear of not finding love because my mother never did. But I feel like the cards keep telling me "sorry honey, other fish to fry. Love would just distract you."

None of the other cards surrounding her indicated romance AT ALL. As a matter of fact, the card before the outcome was 8 of Pents, again suggesting that work, and work only, will be my focus.

I understand the cards tell us the outcome of the situation based on what we're doing right now, and that we can change the outcome if we choose. But honestly, I feel like I've made myself available so many times, and men just aren't knocking. Which is weird, because I live in a super large city and usually have SO much opportunity. But now it just feels like no matter what I do, the universe is purposely making sure my paths don't cross with anyone.

Is the woman in the 9 of Pents enjoying the comfort she's built...alone?

 

[dancing_moon]

Personally, I don't see her as necessarily alone but rather self-sufficient. She doesn't define her happiness in terms of having or not having a partner, and whatever happens, she's happy just to be with herself, be it in a relationship or on her own.

In 2015 you'll need to find that self-sufficiency within you. Your fear of staying alone probably shows much more than you realize and subtly pushes away prospective partners. Men like unique and independent women. Be caring and loving to yourself, unfold that uniqueness in yourself and let it shine, and everyone else will soon notice the change.

Good luck!

 

[Esk]

I totaly agree with the previous post.
I think it doesn't matter if the woman is single or not, she is happy with what she has.
9 of pentacles was my main card for 2014. I thought it was about work but i was wrong. I realize some months ago that it is an advice to be independant, to enjoy what I have because it's the only way to be ready to meet someone. Before being happy in couple, you have to learn to be happy with yourself.

 

[PAMUYA]

The Nine of Pents may be alone physically, but not mentally, she knows that happiness is found within, no one can give that to you. This card for me indicates more internal growth is needed on one's self before romance will be found. A needy person is not attractive to a healthy person.

 

[Intotouch]

Actually I got this card a lot describing my situation when I was in a relationship but not living with my boyfriend. Most of my life was going on occupied with my work, hobbies and friends but I was involved.

 

[Laurelle]

First, I have to ask you why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that wasn't the "one." That almost seems like settling for someone that isn't right for you. What happens if you get involved with a man who isn't the "one" and the "one" does come along?

You can have friends and not be involved intimately with someone. Those friends can fill that space you feel you need. I know this sounds easily than it is. I too am feeling very lonely lately, but it's also all about trying to think positive thoughts. The 9 of pentacles lady is very astute in positive thought. When I start getting down on myself or having negative thoughts I simple see a small river in my mind. I put the thought in the river and watch it go down stream. Then I tell myself something positive.

I often get the 9 of pentacles to describe me. Sometimes I get it rather than a court card. For me it tells me that I live in a lush, opulent world and that I am independent. It tells me that I don't need a man, even though I would like one, but I don't need a man to fulfill any sense of self. I have my own money and I take care of my daughter independent from a man. It also tells me (personally) that I have found a sense of spiritual completion that is grounded in earthly comforts. These earthly comforts allow me to focus on my spiritual growth and my own growth as an individual. Love comes from within you. You do not need another person to show you how to love. Once you radiate from a place of love within yourself, you can attract people that will truly love you.

Remember that you are not your mother. Her problems with love do not have to be yours. And don't settle for someone just because everyone else has someone. You are worth so much more than that.

Maybe you can meditate on the 9 of pentacles for a while. She's really got it together!

 

[tarotbear]

Some people see the Woman as happy and self-sufficient; others do not; it may also depend on the particular image the artist created for the card.

Most 9 Pents cards hint at something 'unhappy' lurking in the background; if the Woman is indoors it looks like bars on the windows, if she's outside there are heavy iron gates - all of these things imply 'exclusion.' The Woman is usually well-dressed, the garden is well-cared for, etc., etc., so is she doing these things or are they done for her? Who is paying for all these things? In the late 19th Century she would be a 'kept woman', so - alone - no; but lonely - yes.

In the 21st Century this image/mindset is being challenged - but one fact remains: Do the gates kept others out? Or do the gates lock the person in? Is it her choice - or someone else's doing?

When I drew my male-centric 'Everyman Tarot' - this was one of the cards I had to re-work:

 

[Ace]

First, I have to ask you why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that wasn't the "one." That almost seems like settling for someone that isn't right for you. What happens if you get involved with a man who isn't the "one" and the "one" does come along?

Laurelle: this is really common these days. I call such men "placeholder guy" the one you are dating until the right one comes along. It is always (IMHO) a bad idea, but it is a thing. But women do also fall in love with their ears and when they leave, he says he is changed, and then they come back and it is the same... it takes a while to learn the lesson.

For you, kmagdalena09, take heart. The 9 of Pents. IS alone and she is in complete control of letting someone in or not. Over the years, I have often identified with the 9 of P. I was very unhappy with relationships (for complicated reasons I will not go into here.) and I loved the 9 of P because I felt it gave me permission NOT to be in a relationship if I didn't want to be.

Sometimes, after a break up, we need a time out. To get our act together again and to find out who we are again and what do we REALLY want. You said he was toxic, so maybe a little time to detox will be good for you. The 9 of P, it seems to me as a CHOICE to be alone. When she is ready, she will let people in again.

It reminds you that YOU are in control and that can be a GOOD feeling! Protect yourself and take good care of yourself. PAMPER yourself is another message of the 9 of P.

Also, I reread your post: 8 of pent is practice. We all make mistakes, if we don't we never get good at anything. So I think it is saying chalk him up to a mistake and try again when you are ready.

One thing I have figured out of a lot of years of reading: when you have a break up, spend some time forgiving YOURSELF. You can't forgive him for being a jerk until you forgive yourself for falling in love with a jerk. Spend some times looking at what your assumptions were that turned out to be wrong and say, "well, NEXT TIME I will do it different."

Things will get better in time, but spend some time taking care of YOURSELF for now. This is not "sorry, you have other fish to fry" but more likely (I think anyway) that by having a good career and lots of independence, you have more control in a relationship that could go bad. As I said before, 9 of P is CHOICE to let him in .....or not.

barb