Pipistrelle
I just wanted to share a recent experience I had that showed me a deeper meaning of the Star.
On Saturday I had to have an endoscopy. For those of you lucky enough to have no idea what that is, it's when they stick a tube with a tiny camera on the end down your throat and into your stomach to see what your insides look like
I'd never had any kind of medical procedure before and was feeling a little bit anxious about what to expect, so a few days beforehand I did a reading using this spread:
http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19788
The cards I got were The Star, Ace of Wands, 10 of Cups and 2 of Cups (Druidcraft). Overall, it was an extremely positive reading. As I'm just talking about the Star here though I'll ignore the others.
I looked at the Star card and saw the naked girl and felt this related to my fear of being vulnerable - having something done to me, not being in control, not knowing exactly what would happen. I have recently associated the Star card with the idea of a mother, stroking the head of her child, whispering "shhhh, everything will be all right" so as a result of this card in
particular, I felt much more relaxed about the procedure and knew that I needed to allow myself to be vulnerable and put myself in the capable hands of the nurses and doctors who do this sort of thing all the time.
However...
On the day, things didn't go as smoothly as expected. You have a choice - you can either choose to have a local anaesthetic, basically a throat spray so you don't feel the tube; or, you can have a mild form of sedation, basically you won't remember a thing. Feeling reassured by the Star card, I chose to have the throat spray.
Unfortunately, I could feel the tube. I couldn't swallow. I could hardly breathe. It felt like I was choking. I completely panicked. I was coughing and sobbing and I can honestly say, at that time - which only lasted a few minutes - I felt like I was going to die.
The nurses were brilliant. One was holding my hand. One was stroking my head and reminding me to breathe, saying over and over, "deep breath in, deep breath out..." Without that, I don't think I would have managed to control myself. I did manage to breathe through the last minute or so. They wheeled me out, let me rest, said nice things, looked after me and gave me a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Afterwards, I tried to relate my experience back to the Star. Certainly, everything hadn't been "all right". It was probably one of the most traumatising experiences I've had. Yet, the Star was there, in the actions of the nurses and my husband, who was waiting outside and who also looked after me when I was a trembling mess afterwards.
It occurred to me that the Star isn't this kind of "everything will be rosy and bright" card, which perhaps I thought it was. Think about it - the Star comes out at night, in the darkness, in our darkest hours. When do we need the Star the most but in times of crisis. From its vantage point high up in the sky, the star can see the big picture. While we might be in the clutches of fear, unable to see a way out, the Star knows we will get out - scarred maybe, but okay and with potential for healing. When a teenage girl is broken hearted, the Star is her mother, stroking her head and saying everything will be all right, because although it isn't now, the mother knows another love will come along. The Star is our guiding light...but importantly, it is our guiding light when we have completely lost our way. I guess that's why it follows the Tower.
I'm sure lots of people here are going "well, duh...of course that's what the star means". But I've just found it, and it's wonderful.
Anyway, sorry for the long ramble
Pip
On Saturday I had to have an endoscopy. For those of you lucky enough to have no idea what that is, it's when they stick a tube with a tiny camera on the end down your throat and into your stomach to see what your insides look like
I'd never had any kind of medical procedure before and was feeling a little bit anxious about what to expect, so a few days beforehand I did a reading using this spread:
http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19788
The cards I got were The Star, Ace of Wands, 10 of Cups and 2 of Cups (Druidcraft). Overall, it was an extremely positive reading. As I'm just talking about the Star here though I'll ignore the others.
I looked at the Star card and saw the naked girl and felt this related to my fear of being vulnerable - having something done to me, not being in control, not knowing exactly what would happen. I have recently associated the Star card with the idea of a mother, stroking the head of her child, whispering "shhhh, everything will be all right" so as a result of this card in
particular, I felt much more relaxed about the procedure and knew that I needed to allow myself to be vulnerable and put myself in the capable hands of the nurses and doctors who do this sort of thing all the time.
However...
On the day, things didn't go as smoothly as expected. You have a choice - you can either choose to have a local anaesthetic, basically a throat spray so you don't feel the tube; or, you can have a mild form of sedation, basically you won't remember a thing. Feeling reassured by the Star card, I chose to have the throat spray.
Unfortunately, I could feel the tube. I couldn't swallow. I could hardly breathe. It felt like I was choking. I completely panicked. I was coughing and sobbing and I can honestly say, at that time - which only lasted a few minutes - I felt like I was going to die.
The nurses were brilliant. One was holding my hand. One was stroking my head and reminding me to breathe, saying over and over, "deep breath in, deep breath out..." Without that, I don't think I would have managed to control myself. I did manage to breathe through the last minute or so. They wheeled me out, let me rest, said nice things, looked after me and gave me a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Afterwards, I tried to relate my experience back to the Star. Certainly, everything hadn't been "all right". It was probably one of the most traumatising experiences I've had. Yet, the Star was there, in the actions of the nurses and my husband, who was waiting outside and who also looked after me when I was a trembling mess afterwards.
It occurred to me that the Star isn't this kind of "everything will be rosy and bright" card, which perhaps I thought it was. Think about it - the Star comes out at night, in the darkness, in our darkest hours. When do we need the Star the most but in times of crisis. From its vantage point high up in the sky, the star can see the big picture. While we might be in the clutches of fear, unable to see a way out, the Star knows we will get out - scarred maybe, but okay and with potential for healing. When a teenage girl is broken hearted, the Star is her mother, stroking her head and saying everything will be all right, because although it isn't now, the mother knows another love will come along. The Star is our guiding light...but importantly, it is our guiding light when we have completely lost our way. I guess that's why it follows the Tower.
I'm sure lots of people here are going "well, duh...of course that's what the star means". But I've just found it, and it's wonderful.
Anyway, sorry for the long ramble
Pip
