Need a non-traditional (polyamory) spread

dadateacher

Need a non-traditional relationship (polyamory) spread

A friend of mine and her husband are taking on a lover together. She asked me to do a reading about what direction this will take the marriage, will it have positive or negative results, etc. I looked through the spread index and none of the relationship or even 3-way relationship spreads seemed appropriate.

This isn't a love triangle. My friend and her husband are the focus but I don't want to neglect the role of the other woman either. They want to experience an "open marriage" but remain emotionally faithful to one another. At least, that is how I understand it.

I hope that makes sense.
Thanks
 

BLFO

Whoa! I can't wait to see the spread for this kinky arrangement. Heehee! ;)
 

ArwenNightstar

dadateacher said:
A friend of mine and her husband are taking on a lover together. She asked me to do a reading about what direction this will take the marriage, will it have positive or negative results, etc. I looked through the spread index and none of the relationship or even 3-way relationship spreads seemed appropriate.

This isn't a love triangle. My friend and her husband are the focus but I don't want to neglect the role of the other woman either. They want to experience an "open marriage" but remain emotionally faithful to one another. At least, that is how I understand it.

I hope that makes sense.
Thanks
Click to expand...

Nothing kinky about it. Very normal in some customs.

I have a poly spread that I do but it focuses more on the interpersonal relationships between the three and an overall card. Let me see what I can do.
 

dadateacher

I look forward to your thoughts, Arwen. Thank you :)
 

ArwenNightstar

Arwen's Hourglass Spread For Polyamory When Taking On A New Partner

Each person in this relationship has hopes and fears so those need to be addressed.

Additionally, attention time needs to be included.

And how will each person affect the other and vice versa. As you can see, we are getting into some complicated waters. Polyamory is a unique lifestyle that has its own set of unique problems. I have been in a polyamorous relationship but consider myself monogamous at this point in my life.

So… we actually have four relationships to consider. The wife, the husband, the new partner and the marriage of all three.


Let’s start with a triangle putting HIM at the top and each lady at the bottom corners.

```5```1```8`````````````22
`````11```12```````````````
```````17``````````````````
```````21``````````````````
```````4```````````````````
```````20``````````````````
`````18```19```````````````
```13```````14`````````````
6`2`9`15`16`7`3`10`````````

1. Him
2. Wife
3. New
4. Marriage
5. His Hopes
6. Her Hopes
7. New's Hopes
8. His Fears
9. Her Fears
10. New's Fears
11. His Relationship to Wife
12. His Relationship to New
13. Wife's Relationship to Him
14. New's Relationship to Him
15. Wife's Relationship to New
16. New's Relationship to Wife
17. His affect on the Marriage
18. Wife's affect on the Marriage
19. New's affect on the Marriage
20. Worst possible outcome
21. Best possible outcome
22. Most likely direction

Notice that this is in the shape of an hourglass except for the direction card. This is because in an hourglass every grain of sand affects another.
 

sharpchick

That is an exceptional spread. You must be very good at designing spreads.
 

ArwenNightstar

sharpchick said:
That is an exceptional spread. You must be very good at designing spreads.
Click to expand...

Thank you. I am finding a true love for it certainly. I haven't tried it out so I don't know how it will play out, but it is an expansion of my simple poly spread which I have done for friends. They have given it excellent feedback.
 

Cerulean

Hello ArwenNightstar, excellent spread!

I was looking up spreads in a very good book (to me), and your ideas on the four relationships seemed a natural extension of how they were developing spreads. But all the spreads got to be over 12-22 cards, because if there was more than one person involved, each individual outlook had to have a position and also the relationship itself was given a space.

It was such an interesting question--a choice of more than two options--that I couldn't figure out how someone would shape a layout.

Your hourglass spread looks like it would be also useful if someone was considering a choice of multiple options on other topics--for instance, if someone was considering a move to another location that involved their family member's adjustment or there was a choice of choosing a specific line of work...or deciding whether to set up an office at home or at another location and how it would affect one's lifestyle...

Cerulean
 

ArwenNightstar

Cerulean said:
Your hourglass spread looks like it would be also useful if someone was considering a choice of multiple options on other topics--for instance, if someone was considering a move to another location that involved their family member's adjustment or there was a choice of choosing a specific line of work...or deciding whether to set up an office at home or at another location and how it would affect one's lifestyle...

Cerulean
Click to expand...

Thank you! I do see where that would be a good application of this!
 
La Véritable Croix Celtique traveler spread