negative reading on a relationship

[Haizea]

Can you explain the cards? I can't imagine how in a question like "How can I rekindle this relationship?" everything looked bad.

 

[SunChariot]

I'm not sure if this topic has been covered before, but I could use some quick advice. I did a reading for someone. The focus was supposed to be on her relationship with her partner and how to strengthen it . . . but that's not really what I got. I got a pretty overwhelming negative message. Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell her that the relationship looks over to me, because what if I'm wrong? I don't want to lie either. Then I noticed that I had gotten her first name correct but her last name wrong in my notebook, and now I'm wondering if that could actually screw up the reading even though she was intended in my mind. Thoughts? I'm a day late in sending her the reading, but I just don't know what to say!

There are two rules of thumb I have for dealing with this kind of thing:

1) When we ask a question, we as readers have no idea of what will come up. Could be what the querent wants to hear, could be not. We just ask the questions, We don't get to choose what comes up. So first what I do is make sure the querent is willing to hear the answer no matter what it is. On touchy topics I have actually asked querents are they SURE they really want to know the answer no matter what it is as once I ask I have no control over what comes up. Are they srue they want to hear it ever in the answer may oir may not be what they want ot hear.

Not to say that I do that with every reading, but sometimes i feel called to do it. Like the time a work friend's son-in-law was going to have brain surgery and she wanted me to ask if he was going to recover. I could just imagine how she would react days before he went in if the answer as no. And how would that be helpful. So I asked her and she agreed she did not want to know beforehand.

Extreme example, I know, but I find it helps at times to be sure the querent really wants to know the asnwer no matter what it is first.

2) As readers it is our responsibility to relay all the information that si given to us in the reading. The querents is sent info they need to know through the cards and we are readers are there to give them that info tthat they need, no matter what it is.

If you find you are uncomforable giving a certain kind of answer to a friend and you realize that, then just respect that in yourself and don't read on that kind of topic so that yo don;t get into that situation.

To me once you see the info in the cards you have to tell them. If you don't want to be in that situation, don't read on topics you don't want to have to tell others about.

We all have things we won't read on for one reason or another. Personally, I won't touch anything to do with legal or medical advice or revenge or anyting that feels like negative energy based to me.

Babs

 

[SunChariot]

Can you explain the cards? I can't imagine how in a question like "How can I rekindle this relationship?" everything looked bad.

Maybe it could if you ask how to rekindle the relationship and the trust was that it was not possible to rekindle it and it was permantently over.

Babs

 

[nisaba]

The focus was supposed to be on her relationship with her partner and how to strengthen it . . . but that's not really what I got. I got a pretty overwhelming negative message.

Perhaps she asked how to strengthen the relationship because she was already intuitively aware that it was weak or damaged. Give her exactly what you get from the cards. With compassion, not brutality.

Then I noticed that I had gotten her first name correct but her last name wrong in my notebook, and now I'm wondering if that could actually screw up the reading even though she was intended in my mind.

Nup. I do scads of readings in the exchange circle sub-forum here, and the overwhelming majority of my clients feel that they are personal and specific. I don't know any part of their real name, just their AT name. And often, during the reading I completely forget who I'm reading for, anyway, and just focus on the cards in front of me.

 

[Selene87]

It sounds like you handled it well--with gentle, but honest, sensitivity.

You may want to remember that more often than not when a seeker comes to a reader for relationship advice, it is because there is something amiss in the union. If things are going splendidly, most people won't need to seek advice from the cards for affirmation. A lot of times, a seeker will sugarcoat what she intuits is a problem, hoping the reader will tell her it's all in her mind and everything is okay after all.

And as the others have said, sometimes just hearing from a reader about what may be wrong is enough for a seeker to begin to find her solutions to the problem(s)...which is often the whole point of getting a reading.

Well done.

Wise words! I'll keep that in mind next time.