Reading FOR vs. Reading ABOUT

[Celcius]

I'm having a moral dillema about if it's ethical to read cards with a person about a third person.

..or for that matter reading cards about a person, on my own, without their knowledge.

The first, I'm confused because, if the 3rd person is on their mind, that influences the spread anyway. But if they ask about someone specifically, should I oblidge them, or should I tell them I can only read about You!

The later, I'm confused, because I'm learning, and I don't want to actually read for, or about a person until I can understand the cards enough to be effective. I'd like to use people who are close to me as examples, so I can get used to reading the spread as a whole. But I'd hate to read without their permission.

What's the etiquette?

 

[Zephyros]

One of the issues that has been most adressed on the boards is exactly that question! If you do a search, then i'm sure you will find all the answers that you may wish for and more!

Anyway, as I see it, i see no problem with reading for, or about a third party. If you know how to do something, i.e. reading Tarot, than there is no reason why you should not do something, provided of course, you know your own limitations, and the limitations of the reading.

When you are reading for some one who is not there, then you cannot be sure of what you are reading. It may be that you are reading what you should do about them. or for them. You may be reading something else entirely.

 

[FaeryGodmother]

Personally I think when you read FOR someone it is next to impossible not to bring up other people. People aren't islands. Everything is affected by someone else. If you decide you are never going to read ABOUT anyone then you'll have to completly avoid relationship questions and work questions. Which really cuts out at least half the questions you'll ever be asked (or want to ask yourself).

When you are reading for some one who is not there, then you cannot be sure of what you are reading. It may be that you are reading what you should do about them. or for them. You may be reading something else entirely.

This is where clarifing the card position meaning comes in handy.

It is also worth remembering that the reading is for the benefit of the sitter, which means (in my opinion) that you, the reader, are there to provide information that will help them. In every reading I've ever done concerning relationships, the sitter wasn't surprised by what came up concerning their absent partner.

Also, I've done relationship readings for couples before as individuals. For both, the readings (about the relationship) were quite different but each felt that it accurately reflected how they saw the relationship.

I think reading ABOUT someone is comparable to reading their horoscope- if more detailed then the general horoscope. Having said that though, what you think their horoscope means and what they think their horoscope means may be two different things. But it gives you a pretty good idea of whats going on for them.

Everybody is going to have a different view on this. But I for one am in the "you can read for absent third parties without their consent" camp.

 

[Celcius]

About that..

I think fresh posts about old subjects are important.

Old posts are stale, and they tend to turn personal and get to be boring as you read about people fighting. I find it difficult to find an answer in an old post.

Thank you FaeryGodmother for your helpfull reply.

 

[Grizabella]

Old posts here are a goldmine of information, so I hope you won't sell them short. We see them brought back time and again for that very reason.

I agree that reading about others not present is an unavoidable part of reading for other people. The most common questions usually involve relationships the querent has with other people in one way or another. If the spirit in which this is done isn't an evil one, then there's no reason not to do it, in my opinion.

 

[catlin]

I usually check out before the reading why the person wants to know something about a third party. Mostly the question turns to relationship or family matters. If the reading is not too much a kind of snooping into other's ppl lives, I do it.

 

[WolfSpirit]

I would not ask questions just to spy on someone. I phrase the question something like "what should the querent know about person A". That way you get the information that is relevant for the querent, without prying too much into things that only concern person A and noone else.

 

[sharpchick]

I'm having a moral dillema about if it's ethical to read cards with a person about a third person.

..or for that matter reading cards about a person, on my own, without their knowledge. . .

What's the etiquette?

I think the fact that the request has given you pause is enough reason to decline to do it.

Reading tarot cards is all about listening to your inner voice. . .

 

[Crystelle]

I agree with sharpchick, you'll probably find it hard to read for the person anyway because of your misgivings with what you are doing -- no one will benefit; you will feel guilty and they will get inaccurate, incomplete, or no information of value....

 

[Sophie]

I don't think it's unethical to read about a third person, unless it is for a sinister motive, but it's not necessarily wise. Part of the job of the tarot reader is to help a querent, rather than indulging them. Rooting about a querent's ex-lover's sex life might not be the most helpful thing for a reader to do. On the other hand, there are circumstances when exploring what an absent person is up to is helpful & compassionate ("something's wrong with my sister but she won't tell me what" - and that type of question), or really useful (if the third person is someone whom the querent suspects of harmful intent).

And like Lyric & Closrapexa, I hope you won't dismiss old threads. They are full of information, useful debate & contributions from seasoned readers. They aren't that old anyway- that question gets asked at least twice a month.

What strikes me is that it is always posed as an ethical connundrum - but it is just as much - if not more - a question of wisdom. Ask yourself, when you read - is it wise to do this? Will it help my querent? We are not there to judge our querents, but to help them & share whatever gift we have with them.