Readings and reality

[Xrysalida]

Hi there!

I have a serious issue with tarot,
I have been into a relationship for 5 months now, we live together with my parnter, we started as an open relationship but because this is a new concept for me and I need time to feel safe with him so we agreed to be exclusive and work on this slowly, take it how I feel comfortable.

Now, I do have my fears and paranoia that in general he is unfathful to me but I work on my trust issues and talk a lot with him about this, my cards since sometime now, keep coming in combinations that say that he is lying and cheating on me, it is unbelievable that every time I make a relevant q. I get all the combinations that could mean that, I even tried a Cheating spread and in the position of "what should I know that I don't?" I got 3 pentacles clarified by Queen of swords.....

NOw is cause is been sometime that this is going, and in general my partner doesn't look to lie, he is very nice! I can't believe that he would lie to me after all this conversations we did about trust etc. I ve notice also that many times that I asked relevant questions that cards come to show me something a bit different, like some days I asked about his night out, I got 3 queens, knight of wands, 3 of swords, EMpress in combinations I could see them as infidelity, at the end, we spent the night together, he got very very drunk and we had a fight

So...I thought that I am projecting my fears, but is this possible really? 80% my readings for myself resonate and the cards almost come the same every time I ask.

Anyway this is driving me crazy, I started doubting tarot or thinking that this relationship shouldn't get readings from me, or I am dealing with a big liar...

what do you think?

 

[Xrysalida]

Also I wonder if the cards could be pointing to porn for example, cause he likes porn
or to the fact that we talk a lot about third parties and mostly women, like there is a possibility to try my first experience with a friend of mine and him that I feel safe, also I think he could be the Queen of pents, he is feminine, but what do you think when you get a combination of King and Queen of pents in a question about secrets?

 

[ana luisa]

Reading for something that is so close to your heart and so sensitive is never a good idea, IMO. Ask someone else to do it for you. We do reflect our fears into the cards. And twist the interpretation as well. Sometimes unconsciously.

 

[Xrysalida]

Reading for something that is so close to your heart and so sensitive is never a good idea, IMO. Ask someone else to do it for you. We do reflect our fears into the cards. And twist the interpretation as well. Sometimes unconsciously.

Hi ana luisa!

I know yes, this is why I keep my readings also with a reader in the forum that we resonate, she never saw anything like lies or smt, I just wonder, why shouldn't they resonate now? I mean it happened and other times that I was paranoid or afraid about smt and it happened...and not actually, it depends.
I m trying to stop reading about my relationship but after somedays you get tempted

 

[Xrysalida]

I also wonder about the meanings of the cards in combinations, like a Queen of wands & 10oS could be pointing to infidelity, but it materialized as me being angry and paranoid, also in a question once of where is going tonight?
I had knight wands - 7 of swords - Queen of pentacles, at the end he came home to me...
what I am thinking is that can sometimes the cards answer the same way that they would, as we expect them to see if they will confirm what we think, but actually mean something else?

I guess this comes with the way a reader reads the cards, but then again when you do consider this cards as the ones confirming your thoughts, what do you do?

Am I thinking too much?

 

[Chimera Dust]

Where the Tarot is concerned, what I'd advise you to do is simple: get a reading from someone else if you feel the need to, and then stop. Doing multiple readings on the same subject isn't going to accomplish anything. It's not going to change the situation if your fears are real. Asking someone else to do that final reading can be helpful since they're likely to be less biased. I think that the 3 of Swords, for example, does sound pretty bad in this context but there could be another interpretation. Any future readings you may get would probably benefit from an "advice" section as well, so you can get some ideas on what you can do to solve the problem (if there's a problem).

From a non-Tarot perspective, this is absolutely something you should talk to your partner about. It sounds like you're having issues trusting him. Maybe you have a reason to, maybe you don't, but there isn't much the cards can do compared to being honest with your partner about your fears. It also sounds like some things (his watching porn, the plans to experiment with one of your friends) are worrying you, so that's something you should also be honest about to make sure you're both on the same page. If he really is watching porn and that makes you uncomfortable, your Tarot deck can't solve the issue, but you can by telling him how you feel (if he respects your wishes) or by finding a relationship with someone more compatible with you on that level.

 

[Nineveh]

You had mentioned that your relationship started as "open". I think some of your readings may reveal residual actions or feelings but nothing serious. I don't see 3 of coins and queen of swords as cheating unless he is trying to work something out with a queen of swords woman but I'm not convinced.

If you don't really suspect him to be cheating maybe you shouldn't perform those kinds of readings.

 

[Zephyros]

In the end, Tarot is just another source of information out of the many we depend on. It doesn't make or break anything, whatever any reading says. When a weatherman says it's going to rain, you don't hide under the bed, you just go out with an umbrella. The weatherman can only tell you if it'll rain, not if you're going to get wet. Before going off on tangents that your boyfriend might be lying, I suggest you take the readings as a form of advice, deal with the trust issues you have and sort out the problems you have together.

Whether a reading is true or not, you often can't help doing whatever you have to, regardless. Unless you want to break up with your boyfriend on the strength of a reading alone, take the readings as cautions, keep your eyes open and deal with the issues.

 

[celticnoodle]

Reading for something that is so close to your heart and so sensitive is never a good idea, IMO. Ask someone else to do it for you. We do reflect our fears into the cards. And twist the interpretation as well. Sometimes unconsciously.

agree here. Its not generally a good idea to read for yourself on sensitive issues.

From a non-Tarot perspective, this is absolutely something you should talk to your partner about. It sounds like you're having issues trusting him. Maybe you have a reason to, maybe you don't, but there isn't much the cards can do compared to being honest with your partner about your fears. It also sounds like some things (his watching porn, the plans to experiment with one of your friends) are worrying you, so that's something you should also be honest about to make sure you're both on the same page. If he really is watching porn and that makes you uncomfortable, your Tarot deck can't solve the issue, but you can by telling him how you feel (if he respects your wishes) or by finding a relationship with someone more compatible with you on that level.

more wise words--TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT THIS! After all, you did say it was an open relationship. Part of being an open relationship means to have trust in your partner and to share with each other how you are feeling.

Before going off on tangents that your boyfriend might be lying, I suggest you take the readings as a form of advice, deal with the trust issues you have and sort out the problems you have together.

Whether a reading is true or not, you often can't help doing whatever you have to, regardless. Unless you want to break up with your boyfriend on the strength of a reading alone, take the readings as cautions, keep your eyes open and deal with the issues.

 

[PAMUYA]

All the responces here have been very good advice. Just be aware that your own fears and paranoia may drive this person away, who wants to come come to that every night. Stop the reading and enjoy your partner, make your happiness. As said earlier, are you going to ruin a relationship over these readings with no proof to begin with?

This post is exactly why I do not read for myself, my emtions get in the way and take over all rational thought and wisdom.

Best of luck to you, I wish you peace and happiness.