Recovering from loss, what is next? Page Swords

[MDredhead]

As you may have seen from other threads I had a failed adoption and hot on the heels of that a pregnancy that was not viable. So you could say that I have had a few speed bumps with planning for my future.

I drew three cards today asking "what is next?" and just looking for some guidance.

RWS I read reversals.

5Sw- Battles lost, walking away, alienating others, fighting for the sake of fighting, unchecked ambition, victory not worth the fight. I very much feel this. The adoption went on MUCH longer than it should have and my husband and I fought about when to quit. I saw the writing on the wall as soon as we learned our agency had been debarred but he kept urging me on for months and we spent far more money to lose out anyway and come home empty handed. The pregnancy loss will certainly alienate family as we have decided not to try again as our chances are very slim and the process is horribly emotionally and physically taxing if things go wrong as they have in the past. We have already started to get some push back.

2W-- new adventure. exploration, new horizons. I think this tells me to keep working in a different direction. My life has basically been on hold with the adoption for a year and a half. I have been bored at work and wanting to start a new business by getting into real estate. I have an online business I was using to fund the adoption and I want to expand that, too. I have thought about writing a book about my experiences, and we are buying a new house. So those are all new things. What else could this mean?

PageSwords-- This is the one I am most confused by as its a younger person with a lot of enthusiasm. Any insights on that?

 

[headincloud]

So sorry for your loss, talk about strength of character to springboard from such difficult cards in your last spread to this, it's admirable.

5Sw- Battles lost, ties into the page a child, the adoption process and the pregnancy.

2W-- new adventure. exploration, new horizons, planning, little actively happening but in the process of making decisions, negotiations, contracts, property matters.

PageSwords-- The initiator card, making plans, ideas, fresh inspiration, the drive that will fuel 2W, forming a workable plan, thorough, fastidious, courage, fortitude. The card is urging you to write, particularly with regards exposing injustice and corruption, articulation and expression are keen under this page.

The other side of the page is that his influence can bring some anxiety, you're on high alert and quite guarded and protective understandably. You may speak your mind under this card and there may be rumours around you. He can bring insomnia too.

 

[MDredhead]

So sorry for your loss, talk about strength of character to springboard from such difficult cards in your last spread to this, it's admirable.

5Sw- Battles lost, ties into the page a child, the adoption process and the pregnancy.

2W-- new adventure. exploration, new horizons, planning, little actively happening but in the process of making decisions, negotiations, contracts, property matters.

PageSwords-- The initiator card, making plans, ideas, fresh inspiration, the drive that will fuel 2W, forming a workable plan, thorough, fastidious, courage, fortitude. The card is urging you to write, particularly with regards exposing injustice and corruption, articulation and expression are keen under this page.

The other side of the page is that his influence can bring some anxiety, you're on high alert and quite guarded and protective understandably. You may speak your mind under this card and there may be rumours around you. He can bring insomnia too.

Insomnia is one thing I DON'T struggle with as I can sleep anytime, anywhere! But I am feeling the message of the Page. I have to do a little more reading up on him.

Honestly, I asked for guidance so many times when going through this process. The adoption was up and down, happening and not, and at the end we were told to buy our tickets to pick her up, only to have that rescinded in dramatic fashion three days before we were leaving. So I have been living with such stress and uncertainty for so long, I have begged for an answer to "is this the right thing to do?" And now I have it. I am not meant to be a parent in the traditional sense. And that is a blow for sure. But you can choose to suffer about what is not meant to be, or you can get excited by the gifts that are meant for you. I want to do the latter. I am learning how to have faith.

 

[headincloud]

Insomnia is one thing I DON'T struggle with as I can sleep anytime, anywhere! But I am feeling the message of the Page. I have to do a little more reading up on him.

Honestly, I asked for guidance so many times when going through this process. The adoption was up and down, happening and not, and at the end we were told to buy our tickets to pick her up, only to have that rescinded in dramatic fashion three days before we were leaving. So I have been living with such stress and uncertainty for so long, I have begged for an answer to "is this the right thing to do?" And now I have it. I am not meant to be a parent in the traditional sense. And that is a blow for sure. But you can choose to suffer about what is not meant to be, or you can get excited by the gifts that are meant for you. I want to do the latter. I am learning how to have faith.

Thanks for fb we never know what's up ahead for us but there is a divine plan.