Wonderful points, Apollonia!
I, too, like to let life bring it on....and then face the challenge of setting boundaries as we go along....what I believe happens with this mode of operating...is that we develop a whole bag of strategies for life situations and for reading situations and it becomes easier to apply them as we practice them midstream....and we trust that the flow of the Universe will send us the lessons we need to learn about boundary-setting.
With my stepchildren, it has been a 29 year lesson so far.....I married a man 14 years older than I ...when I was 33...and got five stepchildren...with the youngest in his teens and the oldest being only 9 years younger than I am.
Wow! What lessons I chose for myself....just one example..they felt that they could just come to our home any time they wished to stay over...after all it was "daddy's" house. I was furious that my husband encouraged this...to some extent it was appropriate, but I felt that courtesy demanded that they at least say...
"I was thinking of coming for a few days...next week, ..."
Well, that wasn't the way they operated. Finally, one weekend, when I was planning to have my two brothers visit...whom I hadn't seen but a few times in MANY years and one who hadn't seen my mom more than once in 27 years, I asked all of the children NOT to come that weekend and explained that it could be difficult emotionally for my family without having additional family members there.
Sure enough, on Saturday night, two of the children showed up....late in the evening. I was furious...and finally, said..."That's it! You are always welcome here, you belong here, but not without the courtesy of working with our plans...." This time, my husband backed me up.
Over the years, they grumbled occasionally , when I told them we were having guests for Thanksgiving weekend, for example..."Oh we're not welcome???" Yet, they never came anyhow, because they wouldn't let their mom be alone...In time, they, too began to realize they could set their own boundaries....I believe that be being an example of a boundary-setter, they were given "permission" to set them as well.
See what you started, cat!!
This is such an important topic, though, because I believe that boundary setting is something all of us must deal with in many aspects of our life...home, work, friendships, love, and....in Tarot.
terri