Sharing some hope with closet Tarot enthusiasts

[espearite]

Hey Grizabella, way to go on coming out. Thanks for sharing your milestone with us. I'm very inspired by your courage and resolve. I cannot bring myself to come out, at least not with everyone and not at this time in my life. It takes a lot of work and convincing and I just don't have that kind of energy. My mom is a Catholic attending a fundamentalist Baptist church and we're close but when we start living together again this year, I'll be on guard, taking measures and precautions about my cards and books. I constantly have to come up with new ways to hide my interest from her and the people in her circle. Just the other day a package arrived with my new deck and she was visiting. I quickly made up a story that it was for my sister. She wanted to know what it was and I told her it had to do with some white noise paraphernalia my sister was ordering. I've also come up with ways to shuffle my deck quietly . It's a **** balancing act. I don't like living on edge but it won't be forever. On the other hand, most of the young people I know don't take it seriously and/or are neutral about the cards. It's easy to want to see the cards as some parlor trick or the "Devil's picture book," rather than as a tool for growth and wisdom. I have explained it some to my sis and I think her view of the cards is slowly beginning to change.

 

[Zephyros]

Haha, this makes me laugh... I am quite happy to have my cards out in my house but only because if people get as far as coming to my house I feel pretty safe with them! But I wouldn't talk about any of my interests in 'normal' company. I have spent a lot of my adult life either studying or teaching in academia and fundamentalist atheism is the religion of choice. It's hard to be 'out' with people, and it's so frustrating when people who think they're so extremely clever are actually talking a lot of nonsense, and unable to see their atheism as an anti-religion religion. I don't have a problem with atheism, it's just that 'fundie-ism' that gets my goat... and don't get me started on goats.

It is never about the religion of choice, it is about power and norms, and the only thing that changes is who is being pointed at as "the Devil". I myself like to think of myself as "atheist with a twist." Recently two atheist friends saw my cards and asked for readings, and then they said "whatever you say, it won't change my belief" as though that big word "belief" is something you sign up for and are bound to for life, like Social Security. Needless to say, I thought it would be too tiring an exercise to read for them.

I think that one of the problems is that people like that equate belief or even having an open mind, or even just dabbling with anything remotely spiritual with conventional religions that often go hand in hand with political power and loss of human rights. I have big problems with organized religions, but like to keep an open mind just the same.

 

[wulzcat]

It is never about the religion of choice, it is about power and norms, and the only thing that changes is who is being pointed at as "the Devil". I myself like to think of myself as "atheist with a twist."

I find it difficult to relate to atheism, not because I have a belief (or no belief) in God as I don't actually 'believe' in anything...I don't really subscribe to belief, and as you imply, atheism of 'that' sort seems to hinge upon belief as a given. It's also become a metaphor for rational, intelligent, educated... talking of open minds, in my (albeit limited) experience the more you open your mind to symbolic thinking, the less oppressed by belief (of any kind) you become.

 

[wulzcat]

I think that one of the problems is that people like that equate belief or even having an open mind, or even just dabbling with anything remotely spiritual with conventional religions that often go hand in hand with political power and loss of human rights. I have big problems with organized religions, but like to keep an open mind just the same.

Just paid more attention to this bit of your post - I note you are based in Israel, where i would imagine organised religion has a whole different complexion than it does here in mainstream secularised UK... so i would agree with what you say there. Interesting...

 

[Zephyros]

Just paid more attention to this bit of your post - I note you are based in Israel, where i would imagine organised religion has a whole different complexion than it does here in mainstream secularised UK... so i would agree with what you say there. Interesting...

Perhaps atheism is the wrong word, I use it as "not committing to anything" (hence the twist! ), so I'm not that different from you. Israel is very polarized in these respects and what you believe in (or claim to) is a deciding factor on the life you live, whether or not you go to the army, the taxes you pay, the amount of government subsidies you receive. I live in Jerusalem, a primarily orthodox city, so I don't take my cards out on the bus, for instance. I'm originally from Tel-Aviv, though, and there the situation is primarily secular, and so people are more open. I don't want to give the impression that Israel is Iran, not at all, but religion does have much more of an important place in politics than most people are comfortable with. There are historical reasons for this, dating back the formation of the country, but that's a whole other convoluted subject.

But yes, both sides are religiously militant.

 

[nisaba]

I'm putting my books on the living room shelves with my other books, putting my baskets out in plain sight that hold my decks, and just "letting it all hang out", as we used to say.

I'm not quite sure how I got to this point here in this house but what's important to me is that I did. And believe me, it's a huge step for me.

Hooray! <wild clapping and cheering> Good for you, Griz!

 

[TinySpark]

Hey Grizabella, way to go on coming out. Thanks for sharing your milestone with us. I'm very inspired by your courage and resolve. I cannot bring myself to come out, at least not with everyone and not at this time in my life. It takes a lot of work and convincing and I just don't have that kind of energy. My mom is a Catholic attending a fundamentalist Baptist church and we're close but when we start living together again this year, I'll be on guard, taking measures and precautions about my cards and books. ...

My mother is the same way, she saw my cards laying out one day, and told me to get rid of them immediately, that they were the devil's work or something like that. And that from a woman who has read nearly ALL of Edgar Cayce's works! meh. She's deeply into Catholic mysticism and I "could" probably try to convince her about the spiritualism in tarot, but I just have this fear, that she'll somehow make all my spiritual books and decks, etc. disappear. I remember she once did that with a ouija board mousepad I had in high school ( I just bought it for kitsch appeal, but... it was gone in a flash anyway).

Therefore when she comes over to my place, everything is under lock and key. Though even before that I had everything in a special nook in my closet, long story but the inside of closets has been long an emotional refuge for me since hiding in them as a little girl. Wonder what that says about me, meh?! I don't know if I'd ever display them openly, not because I am ashamed, but tarot is not a hobby for me, it is part of my spiritual path. I might have a small shrine for my smudge sticks/abalone shell and totems, but my books and decks ARE NOT for other people to be touching, especially with the skepticism that many people carry with them. Alot of my tarot books have personal things written in the margins, they are more like workbooks or journals for me, would you keep your diary out for ALL the world to thumb through as a coffee table book? I wouldn't.

. It's a **** balancing act. I don't like living on edge but it won't be forever. On the other hand, most of the young people I know don't take it seriously and/or are neutral about the cards. It's easy to want to see the cards as some parlor trick or the "Devil's picture book," rather than as a tool for growth and wisdom. ...

I just wish I didn't have to explain WHY I use tarot to other people, I don't ask why people choose their various religious beliefs. But it is not the skepticism of the highly religious people that would hurt me, those people in my life that are religious, would "get" it eventually after MUCH discussion. It's those so-called logical, non-practicing people who think religion and spirituality and especially mysticism is bunch of bull****, they would be extremely patronizing. THAT attitude, just makes me want to tear my hair out and scream! I absolutely abhor being patronized, especially for something I take very seriously...

Anywho, THANK you Grizabella, for sharing your story, it really gave me a lot to think about how I share my "faith" in tarot with others.

 

[celticnoodle]

I don't know what it is about moving to this house, but all of a sudden, all that feeling of needing to hide Tarot is gone. This is a very old house so maybe it's got something to do with someone who built the house or who lived in it at one time or something. Whatever it is, it's very nice to be free of that need to hide. I'll soon be ready to post some pictures of the house in another thread. It's one of those houses that started small and got added onto. From the outside it looks very much smaller than it is on the inside. It's not one of the old two-story houses and it's not a little bungalow, it's just----itself. But we all just love it here and my Tarot is "home" now, too. And I have a nice kitchen big enough for my little round dining table, which will be the perfect place to do readings. Openly!

this house sounds delightful, Griz! I know i would LOVE to see a picture of your home, and more of your adorable little great grandson too, btw!

I do have an old round table and one of these days hope to get it all set up in the barn area where we have electricity and heat and make a tarot reading room there. One of the dreams I have.....it would be a perfect table for that too.

It may be the house that gives you this feeling about being more open with your tarot now. It sounds like a home filled with love for sure--and that's the important thing. Perhaps it has also helped you to feel very much at peace there.

 

[Morwenna]

Griz, I too would love to see pictures of your new old house, but I fear they'll make you put them in a subscribers-only thread... But I congratulate you on your newfound freedom!

I don't exactly hide my Tarot or other esoteric stuff, but they're in the bedroom. If anyone gets as far as the bedroom they'll see it all. But if they're friends they won't complain, or think any worse of us. We have such a wide variety of books, it would be a wonder if anyone would even spot the Tarot or other esoteric books in the melange.

And as for atheists, that word definitely has two meanings. The non-theists are OK; they just have their own viewpoint and live by it and live and let live. It's the anti-theists (militants in their own right) who are the problem. I think we need two different words to designate the different types of atheists!

 

[newlillith]

I've been keeping up with this thread and realized I too have a hopeful story. I hid my tarot interests from my husband at first because is a born-again atheist. I love him, but he definitely emphasizes rational, scientific thought over intuition. Also, I use my tarot readings for spiritual insight, while he doesn't believe in spirit. It was a strange time. Luckily, I did finally "come out," not only did he accept my spiritual development wholeheartedly, but he also wanted me to read for him. Now sometimes he even reads for me and is very good. I'm very lucky to have someone so accepting in my life! Congrats again Grizabella and thanks for starting this thread. I love reading everyone's thoughts.