Tarot Ethics

[gregory]

I brought out the example as an illustration of how something spoken has the potential to influence outcome by injecting doubt or confidence... My real question is what other people think of the ethical responsibility is to be mindful of the power of what is spoken and how they practice that in real life. I was hoping to listen in to an esoteric conversation among people who are much more experienced than I am.

I see what you mean. And I stick to what I said - which seems to match what you believe - tell the truth, but in words that the sitter can hear and take in. I still think your friend may have seen you as stronger and more mature in that respect than you did ?

 

[Umbrae]

Ethics...huge subject...many nuances.

The reader who says “He/she/it is not your soul mate should be taken to the dunking pond.

First off – Who amongst you holds enough wisdom to be able to say with complete confidence (okay who wants to speak for God) that you and your ‘soul mate’ are supposed to spend this and every lifetime together?

What if you’re supposed to be cultivating other avenues for future (or past) good?

You see – as soon as I (as a reader) place a seed of doubt between you and whatever mate, friend, partner – I have overstepped my bounds as not only a reader – but as a human being.

You know that tram at the ski area in British Columbia where the tower collapsed? That was a bit of water got in the joint at the base. That’s it – disaster caused by a bit of water (sure somebody is gonna wanna argue that it was more than a bit of water – but it’s called an analogy (the term is water jacking – water gets in, freezes and expands and pushes upwards like a car jack)).

To sow seeds of doubt is far different and far more evil than ‘softening the blows of bad news’.

Of course the damage is done, the couple is separated – but imagine if the reader had of warned them of difficulties that had to be worked through, that certain behaviours had to be change – and that they would discover that they were supposed to become soul mates in a future!

The reader referenced in the thesis post was not at all ethical. I pray she he it is no longer a witch/reader – and that her deeds return to haunt her.

 

[entropy]

Maybe. And maybe she was right that I was strong or mature enough to hear her unvarnished reading - I certainly don't blame her for the fact that we are seperated. And I am strong/stupid enough to move forward with what I think is right regardless of her sense of what was right for me. The truth is that it didn't/doesn't matter to me if he was my soul mate - he was my husband and tangible husband trumps ephemeral soul mate any day, at least in my world.

That being said, and irrespective of my original question, I do think that marriages are hard/fragile enough that it is best if you are either supportive or silent. I haven't read for a friend who is in a challenging marriage and it is pretty clear that she doesn't need my judgements in there when she's committed to making it work and struggling.

 

[entropy]

Umbrae, my love, my darling! You are now officially my favorite person ever - at least for today. (I'm a cancer, I'm allowed to be fickle.)

Thanks for the response: this was exactly what I was getting at. And then in practical terms, how do you practice this in the real world as you are interacting with Tarot and people?

 

[SunChariot]

When I was 13, my grown-up neighbor was a pretty good friend, and she said a couple of things that have really stuck with me: 1) in every situation there must be an adult and 2) be careful what you say - you can speak things into existence.

The second one I take to mean that you can shape people's beliefs and therefore behavior with what you say to them - tell a kid they are terribly smart and they may just work harder at being smart. I'm curious as to the general views of how the impact of what is said in a reading is evaluated from an ethical perspective.

Maybe I should offer an example. I have a friend who is a self-proclaimed witch and psychic. Early in my marriage, she did a reading for me and basically said that my husband was supposed to be a friend and was not my soul mate. To tell the truth, it wasn't the best thing she's ever done for me - I was young and already insecure about these grown-up decisions I was making. To have someone I trusted tell me that I'd married the wrong man was... well, it injected an extra dose of insecurity that I didn't need.

So do you put out there exactly what you see? Or do you temper it with respect to the impact that your words may have?

entropy.

My rule of thumb when reading, well actually this is two rules of thumb LOL, is to put myself in the place of the reader and see how I would feel if it were me getting that news, and to make sure that you leave the reader in a better place emotionally then they were in when they came to see me.

This is how I see it. The best I can do is to try and tell people news in the way I would most like to hear it. And to make sure they are helped in some way by my reading.

The way I see it people come to me because they have concerns. And if they feel worse after a reading I have done for them, or even if they just feel the same and that nothing has been resolved, to me that means that I have failed. They came to me with concerns, my job was to help them. Someone who is feeling worse or does not feel any better, has not been helped.

That does not mean, to me, glossing over important issues. Anything that comes up in a reading, comes up because the querent needs to know it. But there are ways and ways to say things, there are both comforting and harsh ways to tell the exact same truth. Both represent the exact same truth so why be harsh if you can get the exact same message out kindly. Tact is important, as it choosing your words. And choosing your words carefully so as not to cause pain, does not at all mean you are hiding or holding back any part of truth.

I also believe in the duality inherent in Tarot and in all things. That for something to exist, it's opposite must be inherent in it. There could be no day without night for example. In the same vein, nothing is all bad or all good.

So, for me, if something unpleasant comes up in a reading, I always try to add in the other side of it as well, to show the light behind the darkness, what good could come of it, what important lessons can be learnt, how to see the positive side of it. There is ALWAYS a postivie side to anything unpleasant, I have found. I find if I look for it the cards will tell me what I need to see to find that for the querent.

I never just lay something bad on a peroon and leave them there hanging with it. To me that is not the goal of a reading. The person needs to feel better and empowered afterwards. If I cannot manage to create that, I will tell them that the future is changable and nothing is written in stone, which is very much my belief on the matter. And that if they like I will do them a new reading to see how we can change that outcome to one that might make them happier. If I ever upset someone in a reading, G-d forbid, I would definitely fix it with more readings.

I don't of course go running off looking for the negative side to good thigns that come up. That does not benefit the querent to know that if it does not show up immeditately on its own.

We do after, all create our future in large part by our thuoghts and feelings. So someone left with positive thoughts will attract themselves a happier future than someone left with negative thoughts.

My take is that we are helpers as readers. So we should help to the best of our abilities during a reading.

Babs

 

[Umbrae]

...And then in practical terms, how do you practice this in the real world as you are interacting with Tarot and people?

It's really simple - read the cards. The cards do not say "This is/is not your soul mate" ain't no card in the deck that says that. That's a combination of personal bias, and/or projection. Then again it can be just a statment from a true 'Cold Reader' to get you to schedule a second appointment for a more "In Depth" reading (which costs more) and an opportunity to upsell a "Candle Of Love" ('light this candle during a full moon and allow it to burn all the way down to find your True Soul Mate') for the small price of $600.

That said - there are times when the 'little voices in the head' start stating things that are not in the cards - if you practice listening to them enough, playing with them, journaling, you develop a skill where you filtre out the crap and what comes out is more truth than fiction.

 

[entropy]

umbrae -

<snort of the laughing variety>

She's a good lady, and overall, she's been very good to me. It just wasn't the most sensitive thing she's ever said, and I suspect that she - like most people - tends to see things and interpret through her own experience. She didn't have a love candle for me to burn or anything like that.

Thanks for weighing in. I've read a few more of your posts (haven't gotten thru all 7,000+) and I'll be looking out for your wisdom in the future.

entropy.

 

[Baroli]

Interesting.

I just did an email reading for a person who asked me as a followup question:

Why does so and so dislike me so much?

Well outside of the fact that normally I don't do followup questions without some monetary greasing of the wheels, I wanted to answer this person. But the answer was not what she wanted to hear. She wanted to her a definitive why. In my viewpoint, that isn't my job. My job is to give her information so that she can basically figure it out for herself. To prejudice a sitter one way or the other wreaks of control and I for one will not do that. It's all about choice, what the person hears may not be what they want to hear, but they hear it and they either get upset and let the reader influence them poorly or they hear it and they let the information given to them help in their decisions.

 

[SunChariot]

Interesting.

I just did an email reading for a person who asked me as a followup question:

Why does so and so dislike me so much?

Well outside of the fact that normally I don't do followup questions without some monetary greasing of the wheels, I wanted to answer this person. But the answer was not what she wanted to hear. She wanted to her a definitive why. In my viewpoint, that isn't my job. My job is to give her information so that she can basically figure it out for herself. To prejudice a sitter one way or the other wreaks of control and I for one will not do that. It's all about choice, what the person hears may not be what they want to hear, but they hear it and they either get upset and let the reader influence them poorly or they hear it and they let the information given to them help in their decisions.

I wonder what I would do with a question like that. It presupposes something, Suppose the person did not really dislike the querent and they were imagining it. If you ask the cards that question, they could not then answer.

I guess I would have to first ask they cards if in fact person A did really dislike person B.

As for me personally, if I had to do an additional reading for someone who I had truly upset by my first reading (which luckily is very very rare) I would consider that I owed them that because I had not performed the job right in the first place....like a dentist who puts you in a filling and it falls out the next day. To me it would mean I didn't perform my job properly and I would do the additional reading for free. My job, to me was to inform them but also to help them. Someone who was hurt by my words was not helped.

My take on it is that the cards can literally tell you anything including if someone is your soul mate or not, at least it you read intuitively because there is no end to what yuo can see and sense from imagery. But again how you tell the story makes a big difference.

Babs

 

[Briar Rose]

Ethics...huge subject...many nuances.

The reader who says “He/she/it is not your soul mate should be taken to the dunking pond.

Umbrae, you can brighten even a sunny day!