The Lovers as advice

[Orchid]

If The Lovers appeared in the advice position in a relationship spread what would you consider the advice to be?

I am considering this to possibly advice to listen to all three parts of ones self, the consious, subconcious and devine.

Or simply that it may be taken very literally as be more loving.

Thoughts?

 

[starrystarrynight]

The Lovers is also about the need to make a choice--sometimes where one of those picks is much more perilous to the seeker's well-being.

And it can also be about needing to heal oneself--spiritually or physically.

 

[Thirteen]

Self-Discovery

Or simply that it may be taken very literally as be more loving.

Oddly enough for the title--and it's history as a card--no. The Lovers was originally just "Love" but this isn't about being "loving" so much as finding "love." What it's really about, ultimately, is deciding what (or who) it is you really love, and why. It's as much about self-discovery as it is about discovering that "other."

So, no, the Lovers card isn't about romance or passion, candle-lit dinners, sex or cuddling or being sweet to one another. It's about discovery. And making a choice given that discovery. It's about looking at a person or thing and seeing your own reflection in it. It's about recognizing that what you are looking at is you or a part of you that has long been missing, and that you will not be complete without it.

This could be anything from a vintage car to a life's calling; it could be that one particular dog you see at the pound, or that one particular person you've known all your life but only now realize you can't live without.

That said, you may still decide to do without it. The choice in the Lover's card urges you to go with your instinct and be reunited with that lost part of yourself, but people do what they must do, what life sometimes forces them to do, rather than what their inner self wants them to do. Still, there is no "undiscovering" that part of yourself once you've recognized it. And that is perhaps the most important lesson of the Lovers card.

 

[Orchid]

Thank you for some excellent insights, Thirteen your response in particular seems very relevant. This spread was done for a friend who is questioning whether a friend of hers is her soul mate.

The spread was very positive with the lovers as advice.

 

[littlestar]

The advice would be to try to make a balanced choice.

 

[Psychebleu]

It has always been about Choice in my experience...

I seem to get this card more in questions dealing with non-romantic and relationship readings. I take it as a choice to be made...To follow instinct and your heart rather than over-analyzing the issue.
For me, all major arcana card have to do with cycles and life lessions. In the case of the Lovers card- follow the heart and let it play out.

 

[wind]

I agree with Thirteen. Lovers card is asking you: do you really want this? OR what do you really want? Is this the right thing for you?

I had a perfect example of this when I did my reading for my Spanish class. I struggle financially, so I was asking if I can afford it - but as final advice or insight I got Lovers which was pointing exactly towards this question: do you really want to do spanish? I understood clearly from the spread that it wasn't about the money it was about me deciding if I really wanted to go for it.

And something funny happened. A lot of people say that majors in tarot are about forces which are bigger than us, things that are out of our hands and we cannot control them.

Well, I couldn't decide what to do with my Spanish course, I was still afraid how it might turn out financially, I was wondering if I really want to struggle so much with money to be able to afford it. But life pushed me in the right direction and somehow decided for me
The thing is that I am also a teacher, I teach French and I was taking Spanish classes at the same school where I teach. So, the fee for my Spanish course is covered from my own pay which I get for working for them. But this semester we weren't sure if I would get any French classes to teach because there were not so many people inscribed, so I wasn't sure whether I will be able to compensate for my Spanish class. It is very difficult for me to pay for the course on my own, it would be a big struggle.

So, I did the reading about whether I can afford my Spanish course and as final insight there was Lovers card. As I said before, I immediately understood that it was about me deciding whether I really want it. Do I want it enough to struggle financially if I don't get my French classes out of which my fee would be covered? I couldn't decide, so life decided for me

I got one class of French, a small one, the fee will not be big, but my boss told me herself that we will find a way to cover for my Spanish, to just go ahead and join the Spanish class.

I was very happy! It was definietely the right choice for me...I couldn't decide, so things happened just on their own. Life made the decision for me and it was the right one because I feel fulfilled. Something would be missing without Spanish, but my mind was very preoccupied with money. But basically the message of Lovers was: if this is the right thing for you, go for it, it will happen.

So, this card is not even close necessarily about relationships.Or, yes, it is about relationships but not necessarily about romantic relationships. It is, as Thirteen said, about relationship with anything that fulfills you, completes you - as my taking Spanish fulfills me, I enjoy it, I LOVE it

 

[wind]

In the case of the Lovers card- follow the heart and let it play out.

Yes, exactly!

 

[WalesWoman]

This is what Lovers means to me, making that choice for the right reasons. Is it love or lust, love or infatuation, is it real or an illusion, a fantasy or the means to an end.

Mutual mature or infantile self gratification.

 

[Major Tom]

Excellent responses all.

When I saw the title the song "Did you ever have to make up your mind?" popped into my head.

Bullfrog voice "Better go home son and make up your mind."

Quicksilver comes to mind too.

"Who do you love?"