The Lovers in "what weakens relationship" position

[The Kiwi]

This one baffled me for a bit.
I did a Partnership spread, and in the position "What weakens the relationship" came up The Lovers. In a relationship spread...as a weakness...the lovers. That seems a bit contradictory.

After thinking about it for a bit, as it was a reading for myself and was trying to be a objective as possible, I came to conclusion that the weakness of our relationship was my ex.

I was curious if anyone had any other thoughts on the oddness of this situation. Or how else this card could be interpreted.

Thanks guys.

 

[shells]

Perhaps it refers to loosing yourselves, your own personal identity in being a 'couple', to the exclusion of the other important things in each of your individual lives. It is easy to forget that there are three entities in a loving, balanced relationship - you, me and us...might work in the short term, but loosing your individual identities long term it is not healthy or sustainable.

 

[Legion]

You should try posting this in the "Your Readings" forum, I think. The moderators usually don't like this kind of threads in the general "Talking Tarot" forum.

 

[PAMUYA]

This was taken from my notes, just another way to look at the Lovers card:
"Air is the element which rules the Lovers, and we should therefore expect the majority of its meanings to be associated with the spirit and the mind. The notion of choice between positive and negative is first depicted on this card with the old symbology of a man deciding between two lovers. Such a moral crossroads is often shown by the Lovers card, which now tells us to consider all consequences before acting. The situation could be as simple as a fork in the road with two paths to choose between, or a much more complicated decision by which all of our strongest beliefs and ideals will be tested. In times of such difficult choice we clearly need high guidance. This card carries the meaning of choice, usually on the moral or ethical plane. The most familiar instance of such a choice, sadly, is the choice between your spouse and someone else with whom you have fallen in love. "

One of you may be in love with another, thinks about them, but does not act on it.

 

[starrystarrynight]

Lovers as what weakens the relationship.

It could be that someone in the relationship still feels he has a choice (whether or not to stay or go, perhaps...or that there are two people he may feel he has to choose from...?)

If someone feels he has a choice to make, that implies he is not as invested in the relationship as he maybe could or should be--or at least as much as the other person is.

Edited to add:

Another thought that comes to me is that many Lovers cards depict a young couple "divided" by a mother image. So, what weakens the relationship is that one party in the relationship has not completely separated from Parental Unit, and that could be a problem...

 

[WalesWoman]

Lovers as a relationship weakness could be trying to maintain that whole illusion of Lovers, due to one of the key components... Harmony.

So rather than dispel the happy, lovey dovey image or fear of endangering it, they don't speak up or voice opinions or disagree and never, ever argue... it's called not rocking the boat, which leads to stuff getting buried and resentments squashed and individuality taking the back seat. It's great to be joined at the hip for only so long before it becomes confining and stifling and starts feeling more like chained, rather than bonded and could very well lead to one heck of a Tower when all that repressed stuff surfaces.

 

[Grizabella]

Perhaps it refers to loosing yourselves, your own personal identity in being a 'couple', to the exclusion of the other important things in each of your individual lives. It is easy to forget that there are three entities in a loving, balanced relationship - you, me and us...might work in the short term, but loosing your individual identities long term it is not healthy or sustainable.

I agree with this and also with what starry said---that maybe the other person depicted in some decks might be interfering. I think that depiction represents an older woman such as a mother of one of the couples.

I also think the "soulmate" thing can weaken a relationship because if there's strife and argument---and there will be in any relationship----the person thinks it must not be a soulmate relationship after all. Too many people have a wrong idea of what soulmates are and how they're supposed to relate to each other so that might cause a problem.

 

[MaineGirl117]

I would agree with the posts that have come before. This can be one or both partners who can't or won't talk about how they feel in the relationship.

 

[danieljuk]

what weakens the relationship is a difficult choice in the relationship. I fear it might be them or the ex as the choice

 

[schwammyy]

This one baffled me for a bit.
I did a Partnership spread, and in the position "What weakens the relationship" came up The Lovers. In a relationship spread...as a weakness...the lovers. That seems a bit contradictory.

After thinking about it for a bit, as it was a reading for myself and was trying to be a objective as possible, I came to conclusion that the weakness of our relationship was my ex.

I was curious if anyone had any other thoughts on the oddness of this situation. Or how else this card could be interpreted.

Thanks guys.

It's taken me a long time to truly understand most of the cards. I used to think the lovers was all about passion, romance, and sexuality. However, that is not the case. While it can be in reference to something passionate, an incredible love affair, ect it can also mean a choice. Sometimes we are in situations where we have to make a decision and whatever decision we make we must stick to after we make up our minds. One of you (or both of you) might be making a major choice that influence or involves the relationship. For example, one of you might have a job offer far away. Or you both might be thinking of moving in together. Does this make sense to you?