Trecherous Cards or Personal Folly?

[Beryllium]

Two relationships, two heartbreaks. The men passed me over for other women, both in very different but passive (dare I say, cowardly) ways, despite them being on all accounts madly in love with me.


But this isn't about them.




This is about tarot spreads that were all rainbows and sunshine and good portents (barring a few instances of cards like The Tower--but never the three of hearts or other cards that hint towards treachery or heartbreak).

The outcomes were always spectacular.


... Then again, sometimes the spreads made no damn sense at all, but I've been known to accidentally serve up spreads that chose their own querant to address, and are very accurate at that. Whether that figures into this or not, I don't know.


Anyone had similar experiences?

Theories?

Advice?



Does this deck deserve to be kicked to the curb, or should I just give up on readings where my heart is on the line? (Oh, but temptation! The giddy feeling when all the cards are saying "yes"! The insidious desire to get inside information when you really really want something to work!)

 

[rwcarter]

Beryllium,

Welcome to Aeclectic!

Some people have found that they can't read for themselves because they can't stop themselves from seeing what they want to see in the cards. Is it possible that's what was happening in the readings you did? You said the readings were "all rainbows and sunshine", but rainbows only appear when the sunshine is behind you and the rain is before you and too much sunshine can lead to sunburn. So everything that appears to be good isn't necessarily.

Rodney

 

[Briar Rose]

Rodney, you always make me smile. I think I told you that before.

Beryllium, next time you do a reading you could go to the card chat and write out your spread and what you think it means, and then we can have a go at our thoughts.

Also, do you ever look at the card at the very bottom of the deck? It's the shadow card, or the 'what's hidden' card.

Don't give up on the cards. Please stick with AT. Give it some time here. You'll see the cards so differently. There are fantastic people here. Truly amazing ones! What decks are you using?

welcome to AT

 

[Beryllium]

I'm using the Radiant Rider-Waite Tarot, and have been for a while. (http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/radiant-rider-waite/index.shtml)

Since I've only dabbled at tarot since I began years ago, I only ever purchased one deck.


Re: rwcarter: Yes, I've imagined that the deck is showing me exactly what I want to see. All non-love spreads are depressingly "I knew that already", which is marginally useful for reminding one's self what the situation is, but rather misses the point of "fortune-telling".

I don't usually do spreads for other people. I'm what you'd call "sensitive" or something? I tend to know more than what I've been told, and it gets creepy (not to mention embarrassing). Doing card spreads seems redundant, and no one much is interested anyway.

 

[nisaba]

Does this deck deserve to be kicked to the curb, or should I just give up on readings where my heart is on the line? (Oh, but temptation! The giddy feeling when all the cards are saying "yes"! The insidious desire to get inside information when you really really want something to work!)

You see, this is why reading for yourself or for those you care deeply about is a vexed question: if you lay out cards when you are at all emotional or attached to the result they are quite likely to reflect your own fears or your own hopes concerning the situation.

This is why I like reading for strangers - I have no issues, and Tarot readings tend to be more useful.

 

[Nevada]

This is why I don't (or do my best not to be tempted to ) read for myself on matters that I have too much emotional stake in. I used to get those sunshiny readings about my writing career -- and they simply weren't true. So I stopped reading about that. If I read about such things at all now I don't purposely do so -- it's more a matter of reading about "what I need to know right now." Sometimes the interpretation is pretty obviously about one of those emotional issues, and I do my best not to read too much positive stuff into them. This has helped me a great deal. No more "my brilliant career" readings, and I should say for you, no more romance readings. Find another trusted reader, or avoid those topics altogether.

That said, I still read mostly for myself. I love it, and I get a lot out of it. But there are certain topics I just avoid like the plague. I know now that it does no good to feel wonderful about a reading if it's just going to lead to a major letdown later.

 

[Gypsyspell]

Hi, I realise there is a tendency to view own readings with a pair of rose-coloured glasses. I always have had difficulties reading for myself as opposed to reading for others--But one very significant change for me now is that i will do my best to be objective--I know had i listened to advice given via the cards in the past i would had avoided several problems,and misplaced beliefs in certain people ,my own willingness to believe otherwise about situations cost me more-This is from my personal experience.

 

[AJ]

How many times you read on the same subject and how often,
and how you phrase the query are all important too.


Welcome to AT neighbor! I hope you will stay and grow with us~

 

[papercut]

When I'm reading for myself on an issue that I am very emotionally invested in I try to really steel myself before doing the reading. I kind of set the ground rules in my head while I'm shuffling, like "Okay deck, no BS, don't tell me what I want to hear, just give it to me straight" etc. I also try to use no nonsense spreads like the "harsh truth" spread.

The other thing is, if a reading I do for myself is coming up all roses I take it with a grain of salt and err on the side of caution. Earlier this year I was bothered by a problem in my relationship. Over a few months I did several readings on the situation about whether it would be resolved. The cards indicated the outcome would be good, but I refused to take it too seriously. In the end the situation was resolved (much to my surprise, as it seemed pretty hopeless), and I could look back on the readings I had done and think "yep, they were right". It's much better to be pleasantly surprised than get your hopes up, misguidedly.

When it comes down to it, I've found there are things I can do to make my readings be more objective when doing them for myself, but ultimately I know I will never be as objective as a third party reader, so I try to keep that in mind at all times when reading for myself.

 

[Beryllium]

nisaba: I think you're right about getting emotional and then blowing your reading. I approach it calmly and cooly, flip the first happy card, and then I get giddy like a middle schooler playing M.A.S.H. X(

AJ: Way, way too often. I was confused and afraid, and in the absence of answers from these men (they avoided saying anything definitive about the relationship and I was afraid to push-- trying to be a "low-maintenance girlfriend" and all that), so I sought answers in the cards. Seeking answers via Tarot when an uncomfortable telephone call would deliver much more definitive results? I chose poorly.

papercut: Phrasing the query in a very matter-of-fact way yielded very matter-of-fact results. "You really like him!" "He said he liked you too!" ...and then my cat waddles over and lays on the bits of cardboard laid out before me. I'm not sure whether or not to attach oracular significance to my cat's napping preferences.



Alot of you are emphasizing the importance of the query being phrased correctly. I think I need help on this. I have been sticking with a fuzzy "so what's up?" mentality... and you can see how that's been going.