Troubled with Tarot. Need some help.

[Holland]

*****THREAD CLOSED(although technically it is still opened but there really is no need to reply....UNLESS YOU WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING AND WANT TO SHARE) !! I over came my conflict and am back on the road to balance. Thank you all who replied.***

Hello my friends,
A quick little background of myself, I grew up in a conservative Christian home, being taught that Tarot, palmistry ect. isn't Godly and to stay away from them like the plague. Well I am grown, married, degree, the works. I started to catch up on much needed "forbidden" stuff( movies too).
I had my first reading over 4 months ago and decided to try it out myself. Got my first deck and LOVED it(still do). I studied and did a "one card a day", read my Tarot book and practiced on my husband.
Not to sound cocky, but I am getting quite good at reading cards (still have more to learn of course). I hinted towards some family members what I was doing and they immediately told me to "stay away", throw them out ect. and that it's not Godly. I am compromising my walk with Jesus. You get the idea.
As a believer in Christ(for the record I am more spiritual and detest religion, don't go to church at all, even from day one I have been labeled the different one, some even questioned my faith, because I don't follow the same typical "path") I am not going to lie, I am now getting bothered by it. When I do readings and shuffling, I am at total peace and love reading the cards, but the last time I put them away and a couple of hours later I get this dark, uneasy feeling in my heart and could not shake it off for a good long while. I have had this happen a couple of times and I HATE the feeling, to the point I get scared. I don't feel at peace or happy as much I use too and I don't want to give up Tarot. I wonder if its because I have a better foundation than as a noobie? For the record I don't like talking or sharing my beliefs but for this topic I feel it is needed to know.
I am taking a small break to do some serious soul searching. This morning I felt the feeling again(had a dream my mom found out and she was ballistic on me), but I have not touched them since Tuesday, I even put all my books away on the shelf, to be cold turkey on this fast of mine.

Why do I feel this way?
Is there something wrong with the tarot? I know that it is what you make of them and that I the reader have control on my life. But I hate this feeling.
Do I need to stop cold Turkey? I don't want to at all, but I will if I must.
Am I compromising myself as a Follower of Christ?(although that is a question for fellow Christians).
Now has this happened to anyone else?
What did you do?
What do I need to do?

Thank you in advance for your help and blessings.

 

[HeatherRose]

Hello Holland!
I'm sorry you are feeling the way you are and that your closest loves ones are contributing.

Everyone's story is different, as is mine. I was not raised any particular religion or of any particular belief. As I've grown I've begun to think I'm actually lucky in that respect. I've been able to spend my adult life experiencing different walks of life, learning different religious and philosophical approaches, dipped my toes in different areas and been allowed to find out what works for me, what resonates inside my soul.
And, I am raising my daughter the same way...letting her to know my beliefs and thoughts, but allowing her to explore and ask questions and find information about any area she wants, and to find what is right for her...it may be different than what feels right for me.

Though I am no longer close with my family, for more reasons than just my spiritual beliefs, there are some of them that know about my tarot reading and other practices, and there are some that do not. There are some people in my family that are Born Again Christians as well as some Catholics. I have been attempted to be "saved" by some of them many years ago....my daughter was conceived and born out of wed-lock. That right there set the stage for how "bad" I was. However, I can confidently say that, even though I am a single parent, and have been from day one, I am a really great mom! I work hard to provide, I own my own home, I have a full time job, I have health benefits, a happy, healthy, well-behaved child who excels in academics, has a nice group of friends, a good head on her shoulders, I have a wonderful community where we live (where most of the people know that I do tarot readings as well as reiki), and basically, I hold my own.
It has been my choice to not share with certain people my beliefs as well as my practices with tarot. My choice because I know what will go on and how it will be taken, and well, to be blunt...it's none of their business, and quite frankly doesn't affect them in any way whatsoever!

Tarot is just a part of me and my connection to the Universe and also, I truly, with all my heart believe it's what I'm meant to do. Some people are doctors, nurses, lawyers, counselors, teachers, etc.....this is MY way to help people, to contribute in a positive way. It may not be "conventional" in some people's eyes, and that's ok.

What works for them is not what works for me, but that just means it's different, not wrong.
Just like a weight loss problem....Maybe Weight Watchers works for some and they achieve success and happiness, while others like Jenny Craig. Someone may just walk around the block in their neighborhood and feel they have gotten in some exercise, while others want to do cross training and marathons to feel like they are healthy.

Again, doesn't mean any of those are bad or wrong, just means some things feel right and work to some and not to others.

I have a lot of drinkers in my family. I do not drink at all and never have. If I were to say that drinking is bad or evil or wrong, trust me, a huge argument would ensue (and has) and I'd always end up the bad guy because...um...well, majority always seems to rule in situations like that. So...glass houses...black pots...whatever cliché or whatever those are called that you want to use...it's gonna be that way.


My suggestion is to do what is right for you. You have mentioned you are grown, married, etc., you do not need your parents approval. Even if you have to not engage in conversations about tarot with them, or only let certain people know.

Only you know what is right for you, and honestly, I have no education about religions at all, but, isn't there a way you can love the tarot and Christ????

Just my two cents.
I hope you find what is going to work for you and I hope that you don't ever feel bad for ANYTHING that makes you feel good! (((HUG)))

P.S. I recently saw a post somewhere that said "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you". Pretty much summed it up for me.

 

[gregory]

You are feeling this way because your family wants you to and are manipulating you by their attitude. I have had to dump one friend who couldn't let it go, and I don't talk about it to my mother, who had anyway got to the "How can you say you don't believe in God and then say you believe in card - what's the difference.." - NOT what I said at all, but still.

If you care enough, you can point out the Christian symbolism, but my advice would be to simply avoid talking about this to people who aren't on your wavelength. We all have to do that about a load of stuff. Politics, money, Obamacare, abortion - just don't engage on subjects you know are an un-detonated mine, if you are with people you know will stomp on it ! Be true to yourself. You will feel better in the end. I PROMISE.

 

[Zephyros]

Everyone is different. It is up toyou to decide whether those feelings are "real," as in coming from you, or the result of guilt instilled in you from years of indoctrination. Even people who are not religious still feel that guilt society embeds in you, for a variety of reasons. We aren't brought up to enjoy ourselves or follow our own paths and when we do,we hear a voice inside saying it's wrong.

"Rebellion" against norms is all well and good, but it starts inside.

 

[HeatherRose]

my advice would be to simply avoid talking about this to people who aren't on your wavelength.
Be true to yourself. You will feel better in the end. I PROMISE.

Agree completely!

 

[RufusJ]

Do you think God is upset with you for using Tarot cards? or is it your family of origin and those who hold similar beliefs as you do? The only one you have to answer to is God. If you perceive He is not upset about your Tarot search, then the guilt you're feeling is not from him.

I am a Christian (Catholic now but evangelical for many years) and I use Tarot cards occasionally. I feel a little guilty but my perception is my guilt is cultural, not spiritual. If you search the Old Testament, you will find the old Levitical priests used the Urim and Thummin, which were divination stones-- and they were instructed by God to do so. Now many Christians will say-- "but we have the Holy Spirit to instruct us"-- and this is true, although many times what is seen as the Holy Spirit is the leadership of whatever church they belong to. I never pray to the Tarot -- I pray to God--and I don't see the cards as "alive". They are something I use to help see what may be going on in a situation. A "have you looked at it this way" mechanism. A "this may be coming down the road if you don't change direction" kind of thing. I can be very blinkered at times, and the cards help me consider other possibilities.

If Tarot makes you feel guilty, they will always be colored by that guilt. Lay them down for awhile, study their origin, read "Meditations on the Tarot" if you can find it, go back into their history and see how different people in Christianity over the centuries related to them-- and then see how you feel about them. It may help, it may not, but you will be making a decision based on research, and not emotional and family pressures.

PS I understand how hard it is when you have psychic experiences and you're a Christian. I had to tell our kids not to share with anyone at Sunday School about the ghosts in our house... lol.

 

[Marirowana]

Christianism and tarot can potentially conflict, but it all depends on your definition of both. I see religion and tarot as two different paths, leading to the same truth - your truth! - and they don't necessarily conflict.

Try to define your relationship with both of them for yourself, so you have peace in your mind about it. Once you have solved the conflict for yourself, it may be easier to take criticism from others.

I know there are many other christian tarot readers. There are some Christian decks you might like and feel comfortable with as well.

(Ps. I'm saying this from a non-religious point of view)

 

[Holland]

I know there are many other christian tarot readers. There are some Christian decks you might like and feel comfortable with as well.

Thank you for your FB, you presented a great point(everyone did) although I do not think a christian deck will help anyway shape or form. Pretty art, but not enough for me to get attached. I am still going to fast a bit more and see what I can come up with.
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/sirian-starseed/ This is the deck I own....stunning work.

 

[Holland]

Hello Holland!
I'm sorry you are feeling the way you are and that your closest loves ones are contributing.

Everyone's story is different, as is mine. I was not raised any particular religion or of any particular belief. As I've grown I've begun to think I'm actually lucky in that respect. I've been able to spend my adult life experiencing different walks of life, learning different religious and philosophical approaches, dipped my toes in different areas and been allowed to find out what works for me, what resonates inside my soul.
And, I am raising my daughter the same way...letting her to know my beliefs and thoughts, but allowing her to explore and ask questions and find information about any area she wants, and to find what is right for her...it may be different than what feels right for me.

Though I am no longer close with my family, for more reasons than just my spiritual beliefs, there are some of them that know about my tarot reading and other practices, and there are some that do not. There are some people in my family that are Born Again Christians as well as some Catholics. I have been attempted to be "saved" by some of them many years ago....my daughter was conceived and born out of wed-lock. That right there set the stage for how "bad" I was. However, I can confidently say that, even though I am a single parent, and have been from day one, I am a really great mom! I work hard to provide, I own my own home, I have a full time job, I have health benefits, a happy, healthy, well-behaved child who excels in academics, has a nice group of friends, a good head on her shoulders, I have a wonderful community where we live (where most of the people know that I do tarot readings as well as reiki), and basically, I hold my own.
It has been my choice to not share with certain people my beliefs as well as my practices with tarot. My choice because I know what will go on and how it will be taken, and well, to be blunt...it's none of their business, and quite frankly doesn't affect them in any way whatsoever!

Tarot is just a part of me and my connection to the Universe and also, I truly, with all my heart believe it's what I'm meant to do. Some people are doctors, nurses, lawyers, counselors, teachers, etc.....this is MY way to help people, to contribute in a positive way. It may not be "conventional" in some people's eyes, and that's ok.

What works for them is not what works for me, but that just means it's different, not wrong.
Just like a weight loss problem....Maybe Weight Watchers works for some and they achieve success and happiness, while others like Jenny Craig. Someone may just walk around the block in their neighborhood and feel they have gotten in some exercise, while others want to do cross training and marathons to feel like they are healthy.

Again, doesn't mean any of those are bad or wrong, just means some things feel right and work to some and not to others.

I have a lot of drinkers in my family. I do not drink at all and never have. If I were to say that drinking is bad or evil or wrong, trust me, a huge argument would ensue (and has) and I'd always end up the bad guy because...um...well, majority always seems to rule in situations like that. So...glass houses...black pots...whatever cliché or whatever those are called that you want to use...it's gonna be that way.


My suggestion is to do what is right for you. You have mentioned you are grown, married, etc., you do not need your parents approval. Even if you have to not engage in conversations about tarot with them, or only let certain people know.

Only you know what is right for you, and honestly, I have no education about religions at all, but, isn't there a way you can love the tarot and Christ????

Just my two cents.
I hope you find what is going to work for you and I hope that you don't ever feel bad for ANYTHING that makes you feel good! (((HUG)))

P.S. I recently saw a post somewhere that said "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you". Pretty much summed it up for me.

Thank you Love, for your in depth point, I needed to hear that! and KUDOS for you. Your testimony made me happy and what an amazing role model you are to your daughter.
I admit I wish to God I did not in any sort of religion so I can figure that out myself, let me rephrase that...I am figuring it out for myself but my background makes it so darn hard. Honestly part of what I am feeling I believe is much needed "Growing pains". I still believe that Jesus is my savior but the God the Christians look to is not mine, I know I just really contradicted myself. Earlier in my walk with tarot, I felt connected to the creator and was loving it; part of me thinks when I opened up to a family member(or two) they reminded me what the bible says and I felt sad and guilty(still do) and doing my best to get back to where I was and what is good for me.

 

[Holland]

Do you think God is upset with you for using Tarot cards? or is it your family of origin and those who hold similar beliefs as you do? The only one you have to answer to is God. If you perceive He is not upset about your Tarot search, then the guilt you're feeling is not from him.

I am a Christian (Catholic now but evangelical for many years) and I use Tarot cards occasionally. I feel a little guilty but my perception is my guilt is cultural, not spiritual. If you search the Old Testament, you will find the old Levitical priests used the Urim and Thummin, which were divination stones-- and they were instructed by God to do so. Now many Christians will say-- "but we have the Holy Spirit to instruct us"-- and this is true, although many times what is seen as the Holy Spirit is the leadership of whatever church they belong to. I never pray to the Tarot -- I pray to God--and I don't see the cards as "alive". They are something I use to help see what may be going on in a situation. A "have you looked at it this way" mechanism. A "this may be coming down the road if you don't change direction" kind of thing. I can be very blinkered at times, and the cards help me consider other possibilities.

If Tarot makes you feel guilty, they will always be colored by that guilt. Lay them down for awhile, study their origin, read "Meditations on the Tarot" if you can find it, go back into their history and see how different people in Christianity over the centuries related to them-- and then see how you feel about them. It may help, it may not, but you will be making a decision based on research, and not emotional and family pressures.

PS I understand how hard it is when you have psychic experiences and you're a Christian. I had to tell our kids not to share with anyone at Sunday School about the ghosts in our house... lol.

Thank you, I love all the input I am getting from everyone but I also wanted one with someone who can relate and understand my belief system. I have NEVER prayed nor worshiped the cards(although I would pray to Christ to make sure I am giving a good reading that will benefit the sitter). I will have to read that book! I plan on taking a break until Tuesday but I think I may make it longer. All my books are on the shelf and the cards are in a drawer for now.
for me I am beginning to see the cards are alive....well maybe not literally alive, but I will read for someone and they tell me that someone (or a couple others) have done the same reading and they get the same results...I do not know what to make of that, recently I have done a couple of readings and they were dark ones(deep dark questions). I want a balance in my life.
Part of me wonders if God is a jealous God(like the bible says) and feels neglected. I know its easier said than done but He will come first in my life(after my family ).
I hate being so confused and full of melancholy.
I am figuring it out if its cultural or spiritual. Blessings.