Two dream segments my friend needs help with

[TractJM]

Hi, my friend has been having unusual dreams (kind of - for her anyway) and has asked for other insight.

In one she was in a water slide or tube and couldn't control where she was going, but knew she wouldn't be able to escape when sh was submerged; but everyone was OK. After that she was in a public shower, and had bodyguards (all people in her reality who she doesn't really talk to and finds creepy) protecting her. However, her shower curtains kept falling and she couldn't keep them up, but they did NOT look at her, however they would not leave when she asked them to leave. In the dream it was suggested that she was involved in a royal marriage or sexual ritual and they ahd to guard her but she valued her privacy and decency.

In another dream, she was in her home and her parents had returned from a trip early, but there was a friend of hers in the upstairs guest room whom they would not approve of and do not know about, and she was screaming at her mother (bear in mind in reality she has never fought with her mother - as a teen or as an adult) and though her mother was in front of the door of the room he was in, she never saw him (she would always turn away, at the right time, like the guards in the previous dream), and my friend was yelling at her mother for returning early, and not informing her.

There have been snakes in both dreams, I am not clear on the exact circumstances but in one there was a milk snake and a garter snake coiling, and she knew they were not poisonous. (I may have to ask her to clarify what the snakes were doing in the dream), and they were both harmless (not attacking, fleeing, etc). I believe in the second dream the snakes were just slithering around, but this has been a more common recurrence.

I keep thinking that it has to do with a sense of control or the possibility of losing control; like that she maybe feels she hasn't got a firm enough hold on something, but she can't think of anything like this so - here I am asking for second opinions before we both go crazy! thank you!

 

[Niti]

Here are my thoughts:

I am getting the feeling that your friend (whether she is practicing now or not) was raised in a wholesome, Christian household. She views nudity as wrong/indecent and feels violated when she has to shower in public, even though no one actually sees her (and they are, in fact, actually there to protect her).

Further, snakes are a prominent symbol in Christian lore, often related to temptation and the devil's work.

Twice in the dream, people who are there to protect and guard your friend (her mother and those guards) are overstepping boundaries your friend is trying to establish. They are coming close to seeing/discovering things your friend wants hidden, and in each dream, the "guardian" figure is attempting to lead your friend's life in a direction she did not entirely happy with. In the first dream, this is a royal marriage/sexual ritual and in the second, the mother is trying to control what friends are and aren't okay for her daughter to have. These people have "decency" and your friend's best interests at heart, but your friend feels violated and rebellious about the situation(s).

I see a control issue here - your friend feels that she is an adult now, and should be able to lead her own life, make decisions, and do as she pleases without anyone else having a say....and she is attempting to do just that....but overshadowing all of this is a slight feeling of guilt. Is your friend - in her waking life - doing things/associating with people she knows her mother/her community/her base morals would object to? Perhaps she is trying to justify her actions and convince herself that there is no harm in it, but she feels vulnerable and exposed. She wants to preserve her reputation and her "decency" but it is a fine line she is walking, and she is angry with other people in her life (like her mother) who have traditional viewpoints that maker her lifestyle an issue at all.

Your friend feels that whatever she is doing is weighing on her conscience and the longer it goes on, the more deeply entrenched she is getting. She is afraid that this will all explode in her face someday...and I think part of her, that still clings to her base morals, wonders if her mother is right. What if whatever she is doing right now IS sinful and bound to lead her down a wrong path, despite it's harmless appearance.

Does any of this sound right to you or your friend?

 

[TractJM]

Here are my thoughts:

I am getting the feeling that your friend (whether she is practicing now or not) was raised in a wholesome, Christian household. She views nudity as wrong/indecent and feels violated when she has to shower in public, even though no one actually sees her (and they are, in fact, actually there to protect her).

Well she herself is pagan but her parents are Christian, and she is terrified of nudity - even to the point that while she has never had a long term boyfriend in high school or university, she views ALL people getting undressed in front of her as disturbing - even the idea of a boyfriend doing so. She definitely has nudity issues in general though of course fantasizes.

Further, snakes are a prominent symbol in Christian lore, often related to temptation and the devil's work.

I was thinking that this could be connected or perhaps representing something she feels guilty over - or is affecting her on a level.

Twice in the dream, people who are there to protect and guard your friend (her mother and those guards) are overstepping boundaries your friend is trying to establish. They are coming close to seeing/discovering things your friend wants hidden, and in each dream, the "guardian" figure is attempting to lead your friend's life in a direction she did not entirely happy with. In the first dream, this is a royal marriage/sexual ritual and in the second, the mother is trying to control what friends are and aren't okay for her daughter to have. These people have "decency" and your friend's best interests at heart, but your friend feels violated and rebellious about the situation(s).

Interesting take - this does make sense because while she does not complain about her life, she does have issues with her family or people that try to setup limitations though she agrees with the things the guardian figure says, she likes having complete control over her life and situations and does not like bending for anyone - where the things in her life tha many people do not necessarily trust or would accept are the things she most hates not having influence over.

I see a control issue here - your friend feels that she is an adult now, and should be able to lead her own life, make decisions, and do as she pleases without anyone else having a say....and she is attempting to do just that....but overshadowing all of this is a slight feeling of guilt. Is your friend - in her waking life - doing things/associating with people she knows her mother/her community/her base morals would object to? Perhaps she is trying to justify her actions and convince herself that there is no harm in it, but she feels vulnerable and exposed. She wants to preserve her reputation and her "decency" but it is a fine line she is walking, and she is angry with other people in her life (like her mother) who have traditional viewpoints that maker her lifestyle an issue at all.

Yes, she adores her mother and parents and has an extremely high moral life but is somewhat child like in innocence and naiviety sometimes, so when other people who have had a lot of experience disagree with her she does get hostile; and as she and I have a deep relationship, her friends tease her about not dating me which also aggrevates her, so I think this makes sense.

Your friend feels that whatever she is doing is weighing on her conscience and the longer it goes on, the more deeply entrenched she is getting. She is afraid that this will all explode in her face someday...and I think part of her, that still clings to her base morals, wonders if her mother is right. What if whatever she is doing right now IS sinful and bound to lead her down a wrong path, despite it's harmless appearance.

Does any of this sound right to you or your friend?

Well she does no sinful acts. She has tons of dreams but really lives a simple and straightforward life, though of course you have this whole realm of unexplored life that everyone around her gets to go through and she never does - and is afraid of. I.E., she's afraid of many things people do daily and is very reserved at times.

 

[Daizdy]

I have an idea about this dream but don't want to say anything just yet. I have a couple of questions if your friend is willing to answer. Where exactly are these snakes? Does she know who this person is that's in the guest room? Was he a lover or boyfriend or just a friend?

 

[DownwardSpiral]

Just a few more comments here.

I have to agree the dreams center around control.

In the first dream....going down the waterslide she has absolutely no control over the situation and is forced to just go with it. Then in the shower she voices disapproval over the guards and yet they refuse to leave. Again no control.

Then in the second dream she's upset because her mother came home early. From this dream I get the feeling in real life she's living the life she THINKS she's supposed to live. Her high morals and ways of living are expected of her.(at least in her mind) The fact that she's with someone she knows her mother won't approve of to me is saying "this is what I really want". Again a feeling of no control.

I just keep getting the feeling there's an inner struggle going on. Your friend is living life the way others want her to live it, not necessarily the way she wants to live it. Again there's that feeling of no control.

I'm not sure where the snakes fit in to all of this. The only thing that comes to mind is the Snake in the Lenormand cards. To me the snake is all about deceit. Possibly showing that your friend is being deceiving about her true feelings and/or actions. (to herself as well as others) Again by this I mean living life one way(to please others) and wanting to live life another way (to please herself)

I hope this makes sense. Just a few more thoughts to think about. Debbie

 

[TractJM]

I have an idea about this dream but don't want to say anything just yet. I have a couple of questions if your friend is willing to answer. Where exactly are these snakes? Does she know who this person is that's in the guest room? Was he a lover or boyfriend or just a friend?

He's just a friend but someone her family doesn't know about. Mostly because he's twice her age but said he was sent to spiritually guide her...

I'll ask her where the snakes were in the dream and be back!

 

[TractJM]

Just a few more comments here.

I have to agree the dreams center around control.

In the first dream....going down the waterslide she has absolutely no control over the situation and is forced to just go with it. Then in the shower she voices disapproval over the guards and yet they refuse to leave. Again no control.

Then in the second dream she's upset because her mother came home early. From this dream I get the feeling in real life she's living the life she THINKS she's supposed to live. Her high morals and ways of living are expected of her.(at least in her mind) The fact that she's with someone she knows her mother won't approve of to me is saying "this is what I really want". Again a feeling of no control.

I just keep getting the feeling there's an inner struggle going on. Your friend is living life the way others want her to live it, not necessarily the way she wants to live it. Again there's that feeling of no control.

I'm not sure where the snakes fit in to all of this. The only thing that comes to mind is the Snake in the Lenormand cards. To me the snake is all about deceit. Possibly showing that your friend is being deceiving about her true feelings and/or actions. (to herself as well as others) Again by this I mean living life one way(to please others) and wanting to live life another way (to please herself)

I hope this makes sense. Just a few more thoughts to think about. Debbie

Yes it does. She says she doesn't, but I also know she doesn't analyze herself that deeply. She has her own beliefs and values that she lives by, though she also fantasizes about the perfect life where she can do all the things she wants without fear. She says she lives to please herself, though things around her don't necessarily go her way but she says she is happy. Though, things that some people may do on a daily basis are huge things for her when she entertains them once in a while. She also is met by extreme fear and personal distrust when she does things others do daily (driving, even going on a date or adventuring and doing something new are big impacts in her life)

 

[DownwardSpiral]

Ok I read back through this thread and your comments and one that really stands out is in the paragraph above "she likes having complete control...."

Overall I feel the theme in these dreams is about control. Not her loss of control but about not having the control she desires. As I mentioned in my previous post in each dream she has no control.

Reading through your comments now I see where the inner struggle is coming from. On the outside for the most part she is in control of her life. That is the part of her life she participates in. On the inside she struggles with all her fears and as much as she wants contol she doesn't have it.

I feel the dreams are representing her desires to do some of the things she fears. In each dream she is doing something out of the ordinary and she has no control over the situation. Despite that everything turns out ok. She's ok!
Possibly the snakes are reinforcing her fear of each situation she's in. She's already afraid and to top it off now there's snakes slithering around.

Just some more thoughts. Hopefully something will click. Debbie

 

[Daizdy]

I don't feel this dream is about control issues at all. I feel it's about a transitional stage. She's about to cross or has recently crossed a threshold. Possibly one to do with her religion. She's trying to keep her emotions in check on the water slide/tube but yet meets a little resistance within herself when this spiritual guide is there to help her.

I think the snakes and the guards are serving a similar purpose. I feel they represent undertones of sexuality. The snakes act as desensitizers. For instance, if you were put in a room full of naked people you might be pretty offended at first but in time you'd get used to it and eventually you might even take your own clothes off. As for the guards, well, it's all in a day's work for them. Although she's fumbling around with the shower curtain, no one is going anywhere because she has a threshold to cross. So, she just needs to get over it, so to speak. And she will...

Does any of that make sense?

 

[DownwardSpiral]

Yes it does. She says she doesn't, but I also know she doesn't analyze herself that deeply. She has her own beliefs and values that she lives by, though she also fantasizes about the perfect life where she can do all the things she wants without fear. She says she lives to please herself, though things around her don't necessarily go her way but she says she is happy. Though, things that some people may do on a daily basis are huge things for her when she entertains them once in a while. She also is met by extreme fear and personal distrust when she does things others do daily (driving, even going on a date or adventuring and doing something new are big impacts in her life)

Hi Daizdy : )

I'll agree this is definitely a transitional stage but I think it's about her life. Re-read the comments Tract made here. This is a girl that leads a "sheltered life" literally.Things that you and I do on a day to day basis she avoids out of fear. I really feel she's struggling with her fears and not being able to control them. It shows in the dreams. She's also struggling with "missing out on life" because of her fears.

To someone who likes to have complete control of their life....nothing is worse than feeling you don't have control.

"she also fantasizes about the perfect life where she can do all the things she wants without fear." This is why I feel the dreams represent her desires.
In each dream she's in a situation that for her is unusual. Not only is she afraid but she's not in control. Despite that she's ok. She survives. I feel the dreams are her way of working out her fears.

Tract I hope I'm not coming across as being negative toward your friend. I feel for her. There are things in my own life I've missed out on because of my fears. Debbie