Un-bonding with a deck?

[Asbestos Mango]

OK, I've got two decks that I've ordered and not received yet- the Tarot of the Saints and the Quantum Tarot.

I ordered the Saints deck as my re-entry deck. I'm a Christian, had religious objections (which I've gotten over) and wanted an explicitly Christian-themed deck. I saw some images, liked the artwork (except for the Lover's card), and ordered it. I had planned to use it as a personal deck, to read for myself and nobody else with.

Then yesterday, for some reason, I found myself developing a dislike for the deck. Not sure why. I have an anxiety disorder and I was feeling pretty bad yesterday (well, anxiety and lack of sleep, I've been having a bout of insomnia lately), plus I'm feeling a bit impatient, it has taken longer than what I consider reasonable for the deck to be delivered. Also, what with yesterday being Halloween, I thought it would be cool if the cards showed up and I could do my first reading with the Tarot of the Saints on All Saints Day. The negative feelings about the deck started coming on as I gave up hope for the UPS guy to knock on my door and hand me a box...

so I just chalked it up to just feeling bad, and the cards just becoming a focus for the feelings of badness.

The more I look, the more off-putting I find the art. Even cards I had thought were especially cool (St. Michael/Justice) are starting to turn me off.

I'm hoping that when I finally get the deck, and have it in my hands, maybe do a few readings, I'll bond with it.

*sigh*

I should have gone with my first instinct and gotten a pocket RWS.

 

[gregory]

I don't like that deck AT ALL as tarot - but it's OK for the artwork.....

Don't beat yourself up !

 

[Niclas]

...

I'm a Christian, ...

Don't worry, you're not alone here, there are several of us


(Maybe our name should be Legion, for we are many? (insert evil laughter here ) )

 

[Asbestos Mango]

Hmm

I'm wondering if it isn't just that I've not been feeling great mentally.

The Quantum Tarot, which is the other deck I have coming, is also not turning me on just now (in spite of being stunningly beautiful).

Deviant Moon, Sweet Twilight and Dark Grimoire are still blowing my skirt up (also having the advantage of my not having ordered them yet).

I'm also thinking that the disappointment of not having them by Halloween, thus not getting to use them for the first time on All Saint's Day is a big factor.

8Wonders why it's taking so long- it's not like I got free shipping. I paid for the freight, it shouldn't be taking weeks to get here.8

 

[hunter]

Certain decks work best when we are in certain moods. If you ordered the decks in one mood and have now entered a new one while waiting, well, that happens. If you do not connect when they arrive, put them away for awhile.

Buy another deck that fits your current mood.

I have post trauma issues. Tarot and oracles are a great self-soother and educational resource for me. I really need different decks at different times. I sometimes have to put certain decks away at certain times.

If you have anxiety, certain decks, art supplies, books, etc are as important as medication or therapy, maybe more therapeutic. It's appropriate to have a budget for self-soothing and educational items that contribute to your mental health.

 

[Asbestos Mango]

Hunter-

You may have something.

I was thinking about going ahead and getting an RWS (a deck I once found unattractive because I thought it was crudely drawn, but eventually developed an appreciation of).

Unfortunately, there isn't a book store close to where I live, and I don't drive, so I would have to somehow arrange transportation, take a reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy long bus ride (I don't know the bus system in this town, I only moved here a year ago, and I'm crowd phobic, so I haven't tried the bus yet) or order off the 'net, so even if I did go ahead and get another deck to suit my mood, by the time I actually got it into my hands, my mood might have changed again.

I'm feeling kind of... dark, lately, so Sweet Twilight or Deviant Moon would probably suit me best at this moment, although I've found that it's kind of hard to go wrong with the good old RWS (if I could own one deck, and only one, it would be the RWS).

 

[Emily]

I think we've all done this at one time or another - I have decks in my collection that I drooled over online and then once I have the deck, I think OMG what possessed me to order this? A couple of dark/vampire decks I have come to mind - I too think its just the state of mind you are in when you see these decks but this deck did touch you, so your ordered for a reason.

If you still feel the same when it comes, then decide if you want to keep it or send back/trade off - but sometimes the decks that make a big impression the first time you see them, can be the deck that you are looking for, maybe you need a challenge.

Sweet Twilight is a really good, inspiring deck. The artwork is very special, you can work at your own pace with it, using standard RWS symbolism as a stepping stone, so no specific book is needed. It's a deck that looks better in the hand than in the scans so there are no surprises with it.

Also if you are not sure of the artwork of the RWS then there is the Universal RWS or the Radiant - both are very nicely redrawn RWS's.

 

[gregory]

This is the kind of reason I am glad I have so many decks to choose from. OK it is more than I "need" to cover my moods - but there is ALWAYS one to fit !

 

[hunter]

Hunter-

You may have something.

I was thinking about going ahead and getting an RWS (a deck I once found unattractive because I thought it was crudely drawn, but eventually developed an appreciation of).

I really like the crisper lines of the Radiant version of the RWS. It's known for it's colors, but it was the redrawing of the lines that drew it to me. Also that it is the best RWS to trim to playing card size.

Unfortunately, there isn't a book store close to where I live, and I don't drive, so I would have to somehow arrange transportation, take a reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy long bus ride (I don't know the bus system in this town, I only moved here a year ago, and I'm crowd phobic, so I haven't tried the bus yet) or order off the 'net, so even if I did go ahead and get another deck to suit my mood, by the time I actually got it into my hands, my mood might have changed again.

Massachusetts usually provides transportation for people with disabilities. I don't know if your anxiety is bad enough to qualify. In many areas of the state it costs $2.00 a ride for door to door service. Buses are difficult :-( Trains are easier. I have to limit myself to living in large cities with train systems if I want to maintain my independence. I seldom use the buses, but walk long distances from the train stations, thanks to a good pair of hiking boots and a backpack with an internal frame that sits the weight on my hips not shoulders. Another thing I do is ride short distances on the bus, walk a bit when the anxiety builds, and then catch the next bus that comes along, when using busy routes, that only use buses.

I'm feeling kind of... dark, lately, so Sweet Twilight or Deviant Moon would probably suit me best at this moment, although I've found that it's kind of hard to go wrong with the good old RWS (if I could own one deck, and only one, it would be the RWS).

I do suggest you get a RWS. Ordering specialty decks that strongly fit whim type moods, may not be a good idea for you until you have a few generic decks and a few decks that work for your more common moods, already. I wouldn't order dark decks yet, if you are still struggling with mixing tarot and your religion.

Also take a look at oracle decks. There is a great forum here for them. Some of them are written for people that struggle with anxiety. Also check out the book forum, because there are some great tarot books written that have meanings meant to teach and soothe.

 

[gregory]

I do suggest you get a RWS. Ordering specialty decks that strongly fit whim type moods, may not be a good idea for you until you have a few generic decks and a few decks that work for your more common moods, already. I wouldn't order dark decks yet, if you are still struggling with mixing tarot and your religion.

I dunno. The day I got the BBC was the day I finally felt liberated to read...... There is something about the deck that actually speaks to you for the first time.