Understanding a relationship reading--been blocked lately

[lalunarises]

Hi! So I’ve been dating someone for about 6 months now and every time I try and read myself / the relationship I feel kind of blocked, although I think this time I had a good reading I just need a little help understanding some of it. To be honest I’m not even sure it fully resonates with me. Any advice you have would be helpful! I took a shot at trying to understand the cards as I’m still learning.

**Here’s a little background if you need if not, feel free to skip over** Although overall I feel our relationship is great I think it’s time to have the “define the relationship talk”. There are a few issues that need addressed such as: 1.) his ex is still a part of his life, although we’ve discussed it multiple times (they share a dog) I feel it in my gut that she’s around more than he says 2.) I know he’s updating his online dating profiles. I was okay that he still had the accounts but when I saw he updated pictures [not to mention they are NEW professional looking pictures wearing a shirt he bought with me…there’s no way he could say they’re old] I lurked because I felt something weird in my gut, although I can’t tell him I lurked without looking crazy. I know we need to discuss that, although we’ve agreed we’re exclusive that full commitment means no profiles, my attention should be enough. That’s the back story a little bit if you need it and why I asked some of the questions I did.

*deck used: The Wild Unknown
1.) Relationship now: 2 of pentacles
-I think this shows the fact that although we’ve said we’re not seeing other people we still have yet to say we’re committed to a future with each other?

2.) How does he feel about me: 10 of pentacles
-Sees me as marriage material? That’s the only thing I can think of this however, given question #4 this one doesn’t really make sense to me given that if he feels happy with me then why #4 unless I’m reading this wrong?

3.) How do I feel about him? 9 of cups
-I’m happy and hopeful for where the relationship is going

4.) Why is he updating his online profiles? 6 of wands
I think in love readings this is generally a good card, but in the context might mean he needs to feed his ego for attention (even though I know he needs attention and admired and try to give him that…he needs it from multiple sources). I think this could also mean a little bit of narcissism.

5.) How do I approach this? 10 of cups
I’m not too sure about this card as an action? I’m not sure if it means don’t say anything and just enjoy the relationship as it is and be happy or maybe figure out how to bring more harmony? I love this card but confused as an action

6.) Future of the relationship: daughter (page) of cups + 2 of cups
-What’s interesting is I looked back at a reading I did when I first started dating him and got this combo too for a different question of what I can give to the relationship. For this, I think this could mean we have at least some sort of future, maybe not marriage (which is okay) or just a good loving relationship? Not sure but taking a guess


Thank you soooo much for taking the time to read and help!! <3

 

[catschinwag]

Hello lalunarises,

This is my interpretation of your spread.

1. Relationship now? 2 of Pentacles
Hrm, taking your background info into account, I would probably read this card as that between the both of you you’re still working out how to balance the relationship (so I guess sorting out what you’re both comfortable and willing to accept/compromise on). Also, six months is still a new relationship but it’s probably a good time to do a “check up” on where you’re both at with the other person and adjust/flexible.

2. How does he feel about me? 10 of Pentacles
I would read that he’s pretty happy in the relationship and he’s entered this relationship thinking that it will be long-term. In regards to how it relates to question #4, the 10 of Pentacles can at times denote a desire to be a part of a community that provides some personal self-esteem. Perhaps he’s still updating his profile because he made friends through this community who just “get him better” than those he sees in person? (It’s something that you’ll need to discuss with him about the reasons why he keeps the accounts active.)

3. How do I feel about him? 9 of Cups
Yeah I agree with your reading. You’re satisfied and you feel blessed to have found him. But the 9 of Cups also suggests that you should be aware that you’re not idealistic about the relationship and ensure that you’re actively involved in realising your needs in this relationship.

4. Why is he updating his online profiles? 6 of Wands
I guess this could be taken two ways? I would say that he’s either:
• Confident in his relationship with you and helping those friends he made online find their own “success stories” (More likely)
• He’s feeding his ego by flirting with others, but won’t act upon it because he’s happy with you. (Less likely)

(The best course of action is to approach him about it though (although that’s my opinion…oh wait and the 10C). Not confrontationally, just “hey, did you make friends while you were looking for me, online? Do you still talk? How are they? Have they found someone? Eh, you get the idea.)

5.) How do I approach this? 10 of Cups
With love and camaraderie. So don’t ask about this when you’re feeling vulnerable, jealous, hurt etc or when he’s upset. I suppose approach your concerns like you would with your best friend over a warm cup of something and if it’s negative, then act rationally and work to move forward together.

I guess in regards to the issue of the ex. If they have a shared dog that must have been a long relationship, which means they’ve built a friendship as well. Don’t be concerned about this; he just seems to be a person who values the connections he’s made in the past and sees everyone as one big platonic family (based on the cards relating to him previously).

6.) Future of the relationship: Daughter (Page) of Cups + 2 of Cups
I think this is a pretty clear indication that your relationship is solid (providing you are open with your communication with each other). You’re both committed, you respect each other and it’ll be a pretty good relationship.

Hope that helps. I’m still learning as well, but I wish you the best of luck.

(Also remember, six months is a short time together, so keep having fun and don’t be too concerned, you’re both still growing.)

 

[lalunarises]

Hello lalunarises,

This is my interpretation of your spread.

OMG Thank you SOO much for this. you are an absolute GEM!!! I agree with A LOT of what you said and find it all SUPER helpful…

1. Relationship now? 2 of Pentacles
Hrm, taking your background info into account, I would probably read this card as that between the both of you you’re still working out how to balance the relationship (so I guess sorting out what you’re both comfortable and willing to accept/compromise on). Also, six months is still a new relationship but it’s probably a good time to do a “check up” on where you’re both at with the other person and adjust/flexible.

This makes complete sense and I definitely agree...we haven't had a "check up" talk but I've been thinking about it so that helps validate what I've been thinking.

2. How does he feel about me? 10 of Pentacles
I would read that he’s pretty happy in the relationship and he’s entered this relationship thinking that it will be long-term. In regards to how it relates to question #4, the 10 of Pentacles can at times denote a desire to be a part of a community that provides some personal self-esteem. Perhaps he’s still updating his profile because he made friends through this community who just “get him better” than those he sees in person? (It’s something that you’ll need to discuss with him about the reasons why he keeps the accounts active.)

I love this! Thanks so much for referencing and taking into my other questions / background by the way, it's really helpful to me having someone see a further context so I can best understand. I'm glad to know he's happy, which I assumed but given other details it threw me off. This helps knowing where he's at to know that if he does care then you're right will need to discuss #4 more...

3. How do I feel about him? 9 of Cups
Yeah I agree with your reading. You’re satisfied and you feel blessed to have found him. But the 9 of Cups also suggests that you should be aware that you’re not idealistic about the relationship and ensure that you’re actively involved in realising your needs in this relationship.

I'm happy you agree with my reading of this one. I'm SO blessed to have found him and funny enough before I read your response my roommate (she doesn't do tarot or anything) and I were talking and she told me when I talk to him to make sure I'm letting him know my needs and being honest with myself so I REALLY appreciate that and helps with the conversation we need to have.

4. Why is he updating his online profiles? 6 of Wands
I guess this could be taken two ways? I would say that he’s either:
• Confident in his relationship with you and helping those friends he made online find their own “success stories” (More likely)
• He’s feeding his ego by flirting with others, but won’t act upon it because he’s happy with you. (Less likely)

(The best course of action is to approach him about it though (although that’s my opinion…oh wait and the 10C). Not confrontationally, just “hey, did you make friends while you were looking for me, online? Do you still talk? How are they? Have they found someone? Eh, you get the idea.)

This one is tough. The more I analyzed and thought I appreciate your perspective on this. While I like the positive aspect that he's helping others, based on how he edited his information he positions himself (on match.com) about looking for a relationship...BUT your propose great questions and help broaden my mind + even if he is flirting known that this hows he won't act on it because he's happy. Gives me more to think about but not spin out of control in my head, but better approach my talk with him.

5.) How do I approach this? 10 of Cups
With love and camaraderie. So don’t ask about this when you’re feeling vulnerable, jealous, hurt etc or when he’s upset. I suppose approach your concerns like you would with your best friend over a warm cup of something and if it’s negative, then act rationally and work to move forward together.

I guess in regards to the issue of the ex. If they have a shared dog that must have been a long relationship, which means they’ve built a friendship as well. Don’t be concerned about this; he just seems to be a person who values the connections he’s made in the past and sees everyone as one big platonic family (based on the cards relating to him previously).

LOOOVEEE this. I was struggling as to how to figure out the 10 of Cups as an action This really helps remind me to balance my emotions and respond out of love, it's easy to let the ego get in the way when we're hurt but I need to know that he feels strongly about the relationship and it's worth having a rational discussion. And a note on the EX, thanks for this. Yes it was a long relationship and I'm trying to be as understanding as I can with her being in his life, but of course it's not easy but that validates what I feel in my gut that yes, she's around a lot but I genuinely don't think anything is going on.

6.) Future of the relationship: Daughter (Page) of Cups + 2 of Cups
I think this is a pretty clear indication that your relationship is solid (providing you are open with your communication with each other). You’re both committed, you respect each other and it’ll be a pretty good relationship.

Hope that helps. I’m still learning as well, but I wish you the best of luck.

(Also remember, six months is a short time together, so keep having fun and don’t be too concerned, you’re both still growing.)

Yay!! This makes me so happy which I felt like it was a good sign when I read the cards especially if we weren't solid I wouldn't put much of fight in to work out our problems if there was a bad reading about him. You're SO right, 6 months is short, a good check in and communicate but to have fun and grow together is the advice I needed.

I know you said you're still learning too, but I think you did a GREAT job and appreciate your thoughtful response. Some people don't want to take the time to help with long threads like this one but it means the world to me! I'm going to talk to him in person about it soon and feel great about it. Thank you again!! <3 <3

 

[catschinwag]

I'm glad you found that the reading helped clarify some things for you. I think you're going great as well. Keep up the study/practice! ^__^

Even though I'm new on here, I'm starting to appreciate longer posts in this particular part of the forum because it helps me see how are others are interpreting the cards and if I can learn more from what they say (see meanings I hadn't considered etc.)

So I get to learn as well, which is nice. <3

Best of luck and don't stress!

 

[Annalee]

I'm on a rush now so can't type in details, maybe later, but mostly I agree with catschinwag, and just to add a little bit in: amazingly I'm in a short of the same relationship, just newer than yours, so if my view can help a bit as a experiment for your conferences:
- he does share a dog with his ex, and I know that his ex is quite around, but since he and I have the same horoscope sign, I feel related to what he shares about that: he said he still loves her but not in love with her anymore, which means he still cares for her but not have any sort of attraction to her anymore; which I can relate to coz I also have an ex that I care as if we are family, but can't have the feeling for a man-woman relationship anymore.
- I did update my online profile after I met him and connected with him, but speaking from my own situation IT MEANS NOTHING. I missed him like crazy and when I changed my profile it was just a logical thought: oh this picture isn't appropriate anymore, or it's like I'm feeling boring with it, so I changed, just like that. He felt a bit weird also when I did that, but it really had no meaning. I haven't even gone online after that or talk to any body..
So just from the view of the person who actually did it, you might have another perspective to the situation..

Also multiple times I got the cards you got 2 of pent, 2 of cups, 10s of pent and cups, page of cups, 6 of wands.. really stood out among others..

 

[lalunarises]

Hi Annalee!! No problem on being in a rush, I really appreciate you taking the time to reply..and yes later if you have time and want to add more details or even message me & chat you totally can!

It’s SOOO nice to hear the perspective of someone who can relate from his side of things and that you’ve drawn so many of the same cards as well. Very interesting considering your situation is SO similar and you’re drawing the same cards, it’s really reaffirming that the reading was good.

-he does share a dog with his ex, and I know that his ex is quite around, but since he and I have the same horoscope sign, I feel related to what he shares about that: he said he still loves her but not in love with her anymore, which means he still cares for her but not have any sort of attraction to her anymore; which I can relate to coz I also have an ex that I care as if we are family, but can't have the feeling for a man-woman relationship anymore.

What is your same horoscope sign, if you don’t mind me asking just out of curiosity? This is interesting to hear and good to know from someone else though. He’s told me the same that he will always care for her as a person but there’s nothing there. His sister also told me there’s nothing there…which i do believe but in my eyes I’m like “well why do you talk to her all the time if she gets on your nerves.” But you putting it in the “family” perspective actually is helpful. Family gets on your nerves but you still talk to them. hah

I did update my online profile after I met him and connected with him, but speaking from my own situation IT MEANS NOTHING. I missed him like crazy and when I changed my profile it was just a logical thought: oh this picture isn't appropriate anymore, or it's like I'm feeling boring with it, so I changed, just like that. He felt a bit weird also when I did that, but it really had no meaning. I haven't even gone online after that or talk to any body..
So just from the view of the person who actually did it, you might have another perspective to the situation..

This part is amazing to hear because I haven’t had a different perspective on this yet, from someone who might be on his side. So I’m assuming that he saw you changed and talked to you about it? It’s nice to know that something like that can mean nothing, because I’m just different and take things so literally like “I shouldn’t be even on my profile to be bored with it.” (I deactivated my account but I’m such a crazy creep I know how to find his even without one but he doesn’t know that) Thanks for this, I’m talking to him this weekend and want to see all sides of it which this is great!

 

[Annalee]

Hi Annalee!! No problem on being in a rush, I really appreciate you taking the time to reply..and yes later if you have time and want to add more details or even message me & chat you totally can!

It’s SOOO nice to hear the perspective of someone who can relate from his side of things and that you’ve drawn so many of the same cards as well. Very interesting considering your situation is SO similar and you’re drawing the same cards, it’s really reaffirming that the reading was good.



What is your same horoscope sign, if you don’t mind me asking just out of curiosity? This is interesting to hear and good to know from someone else though. He’s told me the same that he will always care for her as a person but there’s nothing there. His sister also told me there’s nothing there…which i do believe but in my eyes I’m like “well why do you talk to her all the time if she gets on your nerves.” But you putting it in the “family” perspective actually is helpful. Family gets on your nerves but you still talk to them. hah



This part is amazing to hear because I haven’t had a different perspective on this yet, from someone who might be on his side. So I’m assuming that he saw you changed and talked to you about it? It’s nice to know that something like that can mean nothing, because I’m just different and take things so literally like “I shouldn’t be even on my profile to be bored with it.” (I deactivated my account but I’m such a crazy creep I know how to find his even without one but he doesn’t know that) Thanks for this, I’m talking to him this weekend and want to see all sides of it which this is great!

You are welcome, and yes maybe it's better to answer your questions via messages