What do you do when you can't answer a reader's question?

[lilac04]

So this is a question for all the tarot readers professional and amateur out there.

What do you do when a reader asks you a question that you can't answer and/or doesn't align with your style?

For example as a general counsel/advise sort of reader, I generally can't answer questions about court cases, pregnancy. And then there are obscure questions like, 'what is the first letter of my next husband?', or where can i find my lost ring? lol. I mean, those questions have me stumped at the best of times! What response do you give?

 

[crystalrose]

I tell them I don't feel comfortable reading on that question. There's nothing wrong with a reader being assertive and setting boundaries. I've had this happen with an Etsy customer and I explained that I couldnt read on that question and suggested an alternative, which she agreed with and she got a very helpful reading in the end.

For free questions here on the board, I flat out say I won't read on it and that's that.

If you read professionally, this can be avoided by having clear guidelines and policies spelled out before anyone books a reading with you. That way there are no surprises when it comes time for the reading.

I suppose if you're feeling generous about those where are my lost ring type questions, you can get into a philosophical explanation of what tarot can and can't do. Depends on how receptive the sitter is, I suppose.

 

[SunChariot]

So this is a question for all the tarot readers professional and amateur out there.

What do you do when a reader asks you a question that you can't answer and/or doesn't align with your style?

For example as a general counsel/advise sort of reader, I generally can't answer questions about court cases, pregnancy. And then there are obscure questions like, 'what is the first letter of my next husband?', or where can i find my lost ring? lol. I mean, those questions have me stumped at the best of times! What response do you give?

Just be honest and tell them.

There are two kinds of questions related to that topic: 1) you can't answer it as it is against your moral values to ask the question or 2) no answer comes up when you try.

But my answer is the same, just tell them. I have had querents ask me questions that did not feel "right/moral" for me to ask. I just tell them I don't feel I can ask that and why. And suggest something related that I could ask for them if they like. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But as a reader we need to know our values, when someone is asking us to cross a line, and well ...to not go there.

Court cases...come under that category for me. I don't believe in asking the cards a question best answered by a professional in another field. I won't ask on legal advice, medical advice, psychological advice. If someone really needs that kind of advice they are best seeking a real lawyer, doctor or therapist. Not only that but a reader can get sued if they give that kind of advice and are wrong and someone is harmed by following it.

If they ask you something that does not align with your style. EG they want to know where their ring is of the first initial of their husband and you don't usually get that kind of info, I would just tell them that the cards don't tend to talk to you in that way or give you that kind of info. Then tell them the kind of info your cards do give you and try to redirect them to a question in that area.

These are things that you should tell them before you start the reading. Or in other words don't do a reading on a topic that doesn't feel right to you or on the kind of question you feel you can't do justice to.

Sometimes also the cards just will not answer at all and that can be because the querent has asked something they are not meant to know right now. That happens too. I've had it a few times. When I sense that is what is happening I just tell them that the cards are not answering that question, and that the cards are just saying that it is not in the their (the querent's) best interest to have that answer right now and so they won't tell them. Sometimes there are karmic lessons the person has to learn from figuring things out on their own. When this is the case the cards will not tell them what they asked. I've had that a few times. I saw in the cards that was what was up.

Again just tell them that. Sometimes it means reimbursing them if they paid. But it happens and if that is what we see then that is what we need to tell them. What we see in the cards is what we need to tell them. Even if we see the cards saying that they will not answer as the querent is not meant to know that right now.

I think overall, what I am saying LOL, is just to be honest with them and tell them just what's up

Babs

 

[lilac04]

Thanks ! I didn't think about owning up but it makes a lot of sense

 

[Barleywine]

Because I don't ask for a specific question in advance and work my way into the topic through the cards, I don't get "cornered" by this dilemma quite as readily. What usually happens is the client asks for details or makes observations about the specific cards as we go along that bring the situation into focus. In this manner, they typically get a broader view (with more angles) than they were seeking, which can produce a more "3-dimensional" outlook.

I work from the general "landscape" perspective to the close-up analysis, kind of like "peeling an onion," and if I fail to get recognition from the client I just peel back another layer, switching gears between analytical and intuitive, practical and psychological, until something touches a nerve. Then we're off and running. I'm a big fan of thoroughly immersing the client in the process; I make it clear that answers emerge from their interaction with the cards, not my external perceptions. When they get the point through their own contemplation of the picture I present them, I feel like I've succeeded. It's a collaborative process, a dialogue instead of a monologue.

I'm reminded of the words that Oliver Stone put into the mouth of Michelangelo in The Agony and the Ecstasy; something along the lines of "If you want to make a statue of a horse, you simply carve away the parts that aren't "horse." It's a good analogy for how I choose to work.

 

[lilac04]

hi Barleywine,

Thank you so much for answering! Actually that's a really terrific technique to employ when i think about it - and also quite healing because it gives the sitter an opportunity to realise whether their problems are in perspective.

 

[Barleywine]

hi Barleywine,

Thank you so much for answering! Actually that's a really terrific technique to employ when i think about it - and also quite healing because it gives the sitter an opportunity to realise whether their problems are in perspective.

Glad you find it useful. There are others here who use it, but not many. Remote reading (on-line, mail, etc.) kind of militates against it.

 

[AnemoneRosie]

It's not that remote readings miltate against involving querents in the process - it's just more complicated, and could take a while over email. It's more do-able over skype, or by phone.

 

[Barleywine]

It's not that remote readings miltate against involving querents in the process - it's just more complicated, and could take a while over email. It's more do-able over skype, or by phone.

Good point. Anthony Louis recommends Skype or telephone; he draws the cards by going through the deck and having the querent tell him when to stop until all the cards for the spread have been pulled.. I came up with my own approach (posted in another thread here somewhere) that has the querent actively draw the cards for the reading in advance and send the output to me for interpretation. I haven't set it up formally on-line yet (I still have to get a website going for it), but it's one method I find acceptable, and test cases here were encouraging. I would still miss the personal interaction of having a sitter in front of me, though.

 

[danieljuk]

I think you just have to be polite. I am not a professional and so don't charge and just do it for friends and people on here but I have had a few questions I didn't want to read on. for example, one friend asked me about a dying relative which was a sort of "please tell me a miracle" question. I didn't feel comfortable doing it because I thought it could open a pandora's box.

It's important to not read on a question or topic that you don't feel comfortable about because we have a right to not read. Never feel pressured to read on something like that or goes against your ethics. I would read on professional things like legal or court cases but I would say I am not a professional in this area, so please get advice from a professional if you want expert advice.

I have seen some professional readers change the question to fit their ethics, instead of refusing. I think that is a good way to do it. For example if someone asked how their health will be and the reader doesn't feel comfortable about doing that, you could change it to a general reading about what is coming up ahead for the next 6 months or year. Difficult times might come up but you are not looking especially at health or diagnosing anything specifically. I have also seen that some professional readers don't like doing third party readings and will change it to only reading on the sitter. You can adjust the question and the scope of the reading.

But being honest and polite in saying I can't read for that, is fine I think!