Would your friends announce an accountant to a gathering and insist that they do everyone's tax returns for entertainment?
This HAS happened occasionally, though not in a group-context, more people who know asking occasionally. I have a policy: if *I* offer a reading, it's free. If anyone *asks* for a reading, they pay the going rate. This is what I do for cash, it's that simple. Ask them if they'd insist that a plumber do their pipes for free or a mechanic fix their car for free. That makes people stop and reconsider their requests.
Unfortunately, in my experience, people DO insist on that kind of thing.
They insist even more if what they ask for is something you are good at but is not what you do for a living. It is like the fact that it is something you are enjoying to do as a "hobby" makes it even easier for them to ask that you do it for free.
Like they think "she should be glad I am asking, I am giving her an opportunity to do what she enjoys to do / to shine publicly !"
I am into music, though not professionaly, and also I love to sew and am good with a sewing machine. And I like tarot.
You have NO IDEA how often I get asked to play the piano, or to sing, or to perform a tarot reading, or to do someone's curtains for them, or matching pillows (And, once, when I gave in because I wanted to please someone, then the person was unhappy because the curtains were not exactly as they had expected.)
So now, when I am not in the mood for piano or singing or sewing or whatever, I just say it.
Said with a smile : "Sorry ! I dont feel like playing the piano right now !" " I have been smoking tonight so I cannot sing, sorry !" "I do not have my music scores !" "I will not have time to sew in the next weeks, I am sorry !" "I cannot lay my precious cards on this table with all the beer rings and the crumbs lying around, sorry !" "It's too noisy here for a reading !" "I have been drinking, sorry !"
But it takes practice to say no, and often people are surprised by your refusal. You have to be ready to have a reputation as someone "not very easy to deal with".
And even when it is your professional activity, many people do not mind asking, even in the middle of a dinner party.
I work for a national french administration in social services, and believe me, people ask me ALL THE TIME to give them information, treat their papers for them.... right in the middle of a party, even if I have never met them before. It is very tiresome.
Sometimes, I even get phone calls from total strangers (during weekends, preferably) saying "I am a friend of your cousin-twice-remote and he told me I could call you about my situation blablabla...."
It is difficult to say no, because, working in that field (social services) I feel like when people are in need of help, I should gve them the help.
But, it is so tiresome.
IAnd the services my company offer to the public is free anyway ! So I try to hint at the fact that they can call back the office during opening hours, and that the person at the desk who will answer them is as qualified as I am (or even more) for answering their needs, and that it is FREE....
It is true it is tiresome.
And, when I try to refuse politely, I often understand that the person is unhappy, and will spread the word that "I am not very nice".
Sight.
A solution that may work sometimes :
- I do not have my tarot cards with me
- I do not have my music scores with me
- I do not have my sewing machine with me
- I do not have my brain with me today
Or lay out some cards, then gather them up nervously saying, "Everything's fine. You're going to be JUST FINE. ..Is there anymore wine here?"
Yes ! LOL !!!