SweetSiren
Thank you CN for your long responses. I appreciate them.
It's not that I necessarily want to develop these abilities, but they are there and I want to get more clarity with them for sanity's sake. The messages aren't very clear, like the dream of an ex. I'm picking up on things and not knowing it's something other than a dream, so when it comes to be I'm so weirded out. I'd like to get to a place where it only comes when it is indeed something I should know/ I understand that it is actually a message as it comes.
Another example is I had a boss that made me feel very uncomfortable, and everyone liked him. So I felt pretty alone and doubted my intuition. I had a dream that a clown chased me with an axe, and the neighborhood tried convincing me he actually was doing good things and I must be crazy. Months later he gets fired for stealing and it was not too long after he crossed some of my boundaries. I also found out he went to clown school. But at the time I chalked the dream up to being afraid of clowns- because I am. And I guess for good reason lol
But that's what I mean- it's always so cryptic and I don't understand what's being said to me. The dream in retrospect was telling me to trust myself, but it's not something I would have gathered was about my boss until after everything played out. So, I am picking things up and I just want to fine tune- to actually understand what's being handed to me. And I know it's partly a personal journey, understanding how it speaks to me. But it's so bizarre that I haven't the slightest clue what to listen to.
I am in the habit now of writing my dreams down and throwing psychological interpretations out the window. It will take me a while to understand the pattern of the messages, as I just started doing it and I haven't remembered my dreams lately. I know it's also being a better receiver, and although meditation is nice, it hasn't been particularly helpful in this endeavor. But I will keep going with it. I am also trying to break down the fear and apprehension associated with it. It's happening to me whether I try or not, so being afraid isn't particularly helpful.
It's not that I necessarily want to develop these abilities, but they are there and I want to get more clarity with them for sanity's sake. The messages aren't very clear, like the dream of an ex. I'm picking up on things and not knowing it's something other than a dream, so when it comes to be I'm so weirded out. I'd like to get to a place where it only comes when it is indeed something I should know/ I understand that it is actually a message as it comes.
Another example is I had a boss that made me feel very uncomfortable, and everyone liked him. So I felt pretty alone and doubted my intuition. I had a dream that a clown chased me with an axe, and the neighborhood tried convincing me he actually was doing good things and I must be crazy. Months later he gets fired for stealing and it was not too long after he crossed some of my boundaries. I also found out he went to clown school. But at the time I chalked the dream up to being afraid of clowns- because I am. And I guess for good reason lol
But that's what I mean- it's always so cryptic and I don't understand what's being said to me. The dream in retrospect was telling me to trust myself, but it's not something I would have gathered was about my boss until after everything played out. So, I am picking things up and I just want to fine tune- to actually understand what's being handed to me. And I know it's partly a personal journey, understanding how it speaks to me. But it's so bizarre that I haven't the slightest clue what to listen to.
I am in the habit now of writing my dreams down and throwing psychological interpretations out the window. It will take me a while to understand the pattern of the messages, as I just started doing it and I haven't remembered my dreams lately. I know it's also being a better receiver, and although meditation is nice, it hasn't been particularly helpful in this endeavor. But I will keep going with it. I am also trying to break down the fear and apprehension associated with it. It's happening to me whether I try or not, so being afraid isn't particularly helpful.