10 Swords and Lovers

[moonpixie]

Hi, I was doing a relationship spread that included positions such as the energy/communicatio/passion of a particular relationship and in the position of the "reality" of the relationship I drew the 10 of Swords. I thought I would just clarify this card and pulled The Lovers.

I used the Bohemian Gothic Tarot and the image on the 10/Swords is that of a woman kneeling and crying by a graveside. The relationship is stable that I know of but I do know the guy involved has had certain feelings for someone else but has not acted on them.

I know the 10/Swords is not always negative but I also know the Lovers is not also positive in the sense it can indicate temptation/decisions, etc. So what would you make of this combo in the postion of the reality of a relationship?

Thanks : )

 

[balenciaga]

a love that causes much pain, or being depressed and forlorn over very powerfully loving feelings - like unrequieted love, one who misses that love, etc.
I have also seen the 10 sw come up as one who is concentrating very hard on one thing. In this case, the Lovers - which to me is a very strong feeling of meeting one's other half, the part that completes them and makes them feel whole.

 

[ofbainbridge]

Intellectual fulfillment in some union or bond.

Common ground. Common interests. A relationship that clicks because there is a meeting of the minds...

 

[Thirteen]

The two cards do suggest that stable as the relationship is (and, as these are both "air" cards, it would seem to be stable in warm feelings, physical connections and passion), the reality is that the guy, at least, is thinking about those feelings he has for another. About the choices he's made and whether they were the right choices. He's musing on "what ifs?" including how his current girlfriend would take it if he "stabbed her in the back" by making a choice for the other girl (10/Swords, the girl weeping in great loss).

I'm guessing that his girlfriend doesn't know about his feelings for another? If she does, then she's likely wondering what would happen as well.

The "reality" of the relationship isn't that they're going to break up, per se, but that at least one of them is pondering his choices. Which means that at least one of them has some doubts and isn't, in his/her mind, totally convinced that they're with "the one and only."

 

[Pandora MoonRaven]

I agree with thirteen.

Also perhaps the 10 of swords then the lovers...10 of swords could possibly be emotional baggage that the person is carrying? Often if you have been burned you carry that to the next relationship and worry the same thing will happen again etc. Maybe it could be pointing to if he was hurt in the past badly it is holding him back from reaching The Lovers AKA a fulfilling relationship. For that matter if he is interested in someone else, people who have been badly hurt are afraid to get deep into a relationship with one person sometimes. Therefore this other person may be a comfort blanket in case he gets burned again.

Also the 10 of Swords in reality of the relationship. The Lovers being a choice..he may be also contemplating what making a move with this other person would do. It could break his current girls heart. Also it could turn to nothing and everyone gets hurt. Or he could move towards the Lovers which is a nice card but is it what he wants? Perhaps a struggle between safety and chaos?

Just two other thoughts. )

 

[moonpixie]

Hi, thanks for your opinions. Thirteen, I definitely see what your saying and I'm certainly learning towards that interpretation. I've done spreads about this situation a few times over several months and they've always been very interesting. I think the guy is very conflicted. It appears that while his relationship with his g/f is fairly stable and he obviously cares for her; the other girl seems to definitely stir up quite strong feelings (I wouldn't necessarliy say deep but strong enough for him to question his current relationship).

I'm guessing that his girlfriend doesn't know about his feelings for another?

Correct and as I say, I'm sensing much conflict and confused feelings when I read for this guy. I think his relationship with his g/f was born from a dating website (not using tarot to come to this conclusion, btw, lol) which is a somewhat "clinical" way to meet a partner, so to speak, and I do think they have some shared baggage of bad relationships, etc. His feelings for the other girl have grew more organically (not under the glare of arranged dates to meet your "perfect partner") and are perhaps a little more passionate.

Perhaps a struggle between safety and chaos?

Right, the other girl in this situation is an unknown quantity and as he appears to be a rather low-key, stable guy, so I don't think he would really want to take a chance on her and wreck his current relationship when a possible relationship with her may fall flat.

 

[Hannafate]

Someone may have to make a sacrifice, to keep the relationship together. Perhaps giving up on a fantasy romance.

 

[Thirteen]

Right, the other girl in this situation is an unknown quantity and as he appears to be a rather low-key, stable guy, so I don't think he would really want to take a chance on her and wreck his current relationship when a possible relationship with her may fall flat.

Sounds like the movie High Fidelity. Ever seen it? The story is about a guy who goes back over the great loves of his life, trying to remember why they failed. As he reconnects with these old girlfriends, he realizes that the problem wasn't with them but him. He's was seeking the perfect, problem-free girlfriend, and there is no such magical girlfriend.

It sounds like this guy is having one of those moments that we all have. Doubts and fears of being stuck with the wrong person. Buyers remorse if you will. In his heart, he probably knows that the other girl is wrong for him and it wouldn't work out. But he's still being stabbed, if you will, by that doubt. To admit that the girl he's with is right for him means committing to her and forgoing all others. That can scare a person.

 

[moonpixie]

In his heart, he probably knows that the other girl is wrong for him and it wouldn't work out.

I do believe that's the crux of his problem, though. There's nothing really to suggest the other girl would necessarily be wrong for him; they get along very well, have things in common, he's obviously very physically attracted to her and I've seen him positively light up around her. I'm definitely in agreement with your "buyers remorse" scenario, I'm sure this is what he's experiencing but it's been going on for a long while now and while I think he's tried to just forget her and get on with his relationship (as very strongly indicated in a couple of spreads I did) I get the sense the tide is turning slightly and his thoughts are turning more to this other girl (again indicated by cards I've been pulling). One card that turns up an awful lot in this situation is the 2 of pents.

Interestingly (in this current spread) in the position of the relationship's "key to the future", Strength came up; which I saw as if he stays strong and resists temptation then his current relationship will go fine, but as Pandora MoonRaven questioned...

he could move towards the Lovers which is a nice card but is it what he wants?

It's an interesting situation to read on and I'm sure I'll do another spread concerning it in the near future.

 

[Thirteen]

I do believe that's the crux of his problem, though. There's nothing really to suggest the other girl would necessarily be wrong for him; they get along very well, have things in common, he's obviously very physically attracted to her and I've seen him positively light up around her.

Ah, well, then as said he might need to surrender to the Lovers and go with that pull. The BG Deck really has a way of presenting this card as something that, for better or worse, can't be resisted. And maybe that'd be for the best, rather than staying with his current girlfriend but forever wondering "what if?" and making her feel like he's with the wrong woman.

Sometimes a person just has to know, even if that knowing ends up being a mistake that teaches him an important but necessary lesson. And if it's not a mistake, then that really is the best for both halves. Better he go with the right woman and leave the other girl, however heartbroken, to find the right man.