Cards to show a controlling woman

[Adriana]

What cards could indicate this? Like controlling, nagging, negative.. etc. Maybe some of the swords card, especially 5 of swords showing how she uses words hurting others, or 3 of swords. Could the Queen of swords indicate this? Maybe she'd have to be reversed to be like that.
I think 10 of swords in the Connolly deck could indicate a drama queen some times lol.
I've got 8 of swords in a relationship reading lately, and I've been wondering if it could indicate one person being controlling and the other feeling controlled, but I find a hard time saying this when I read for someone..

 

[caridwen]

A controlling woman I would see as a negative Empress. Any of the Queens' negative aspects depending on her personality type. Four of Pentacles is a card of control. Dominating and possessive I see as the negative aspects of the King of Wands.

Since the cards are not limited to gender a woman can exhibit the traits of Kings. The Queens tend to be the inward focus and the Kings the outward. So men can of course exhibit Queen traits. So a woman represented by a negative King of Wands is positively stalkerish and would want to know where you were every second of the day.

As for "nagging" both males and females "nag". To nag simply means to make repeated requests for something. It generally becomes nagging when those requests are not fulfilled. It may be insightful to do a reading on the cause of the "nagging" which often belies unhappiness, and take action in order to reduce it

Specifically for control issues: Four Pentacles/Devil/King Wands

 

[WalesWoman]

My first thought was Empress Rx as well, but actually someone who is controlling would be Emperor RX. He has to micromanage everything in order to feel like he in in control of things, usually stemming from a huge lack of security or purpose.

8 Swords might indicate someone feeling helpless, those swords could be controlling them by acting as boundaries and limitations.

I can see 5 Swords as in actions and words that set oneself up to feel like they are in control by making others feel helpless and rather victimized.

Queen of Swords RX might lack the compassion, be vindictive and just be a bitch.

Seems like you might find that the cards to show this type of person might be combinations of cards rather than just one... and if you are looking for these types of traits, you will see them in tons of cards.
4 Pentacles might show up, because they want to hold on to everything and let nothing go or change or be outside their sphere of influence.

6 Swords, as the person steering the boat and their passengers are in their control... taking them away from outside influences to some place where they won't be interfered with... creating isolation. But the swords go with... which could refer to that nagging stuff.

Devil.... they are the Devil themselves and everyone is controlled by those chains attached.

Chariot using will to control the direction of where things go... that whip could also refer to nagging.

Even Magician, they are the masters of manipulation and using everything to make sure everything is under their control and does as it is intended.

3 Swords could refer to Caridwens suggestion a reading for WHY is this person needing to feel in control and being such bitch about it.

 

[caridwen]

My first thought was Empress Rx as well, but actually someone who is controlling would be Emperor RX. He has to micromanage everything in order to feel like he in in control of things, usually stemming from a huge lack of security or purpose.

Yes very much so. Reversed Emperor or negative Emperor would be a control freak. However, would he also exhibit typically 'masculine' traits that go with the Emperor. I see him as a bit of a barking sergeant major. The negative Emperor may have a Napoleon complex. He would be obsessive about orderliness and neatness.

When I thought about the negative Empress it was more so in a 'smother mother' kind of way. I know a pathological mother who won't let her children grow up. She controls every issue of their lives and they are all near or in their forties. They have all suffered from it and all have mental illnesses, one of them is on heroin. She doesn't "nag" so much as crush. I'm not really sure if a mother type of figure is what is at issue here though.

Negative Chariot, of course! Hard control

 

[PAMUYA]

Queen of Pentacles reversed...must have, must control, everything in it's place and in order. Kind of like a stage mom.

 

[Starshower]

I immediately thought: QUEEN OF RODS / Wands / Clubs - my nemesis!

This card always indicates to me a specific demanding, self-centered, controlling, domineering woman in my life. A greedy, selfish, over-assertive boss / business-woman, who rides roughshod over everyone & expects always to get her own way. Total lack of sensitivity to others' feelings & needs. It's always 'all about her.'

Insistent. Overblown ego. Centre of attention.

I know that theoretically, she can have good traits too, but these get overridden by her sense of entitlement in my mind.

Perhaps I should say Q of Rods reversed. She 'rules' (or tries to) 'with an iron rod'.

I've always disliked her intensely, for her lack of sensitivity.
Am I biased? Yes! Unfairly? Probably. I just always clash with such types, & need Tarot therapy

 

[caridwen]

I immediately thought: QUEEN OF RODS / Wands / Clubs - my nemesis!

This card always indicates to me a specific demanding, self-centered, controlling, domineering woman in my life. A greedy, selfish, over-assertive boss / business-woman, who rides roughshod over everyone & expects always to get her own way. Total lack of sensitivity to others' feelings & needs. It's always 'all about her.'

Insistent. Overblown ego. Centre of attention.

I know that theoretically, she can have good traits too, but these get overridden by her sense of entitlement in my mind.

Perhaps I should say Q of Rods reversed. She 'rules' (or tries to) 'with an iron rod'.

I've always disliked her intensely, for her lack of sensitivity.
Am I biased? Yes! Unfairly? Probably. I just always clash with such types, & need Tarot therapy

Sorry but not letting you get away with this

Queen of Wands is warm, generous, loyal, artistic and dynamic. She's proactive and burning with energy. She is compassionate and has a good sense of humour. She forgives easily.

She is damn sexy too! She sizzles with sex appeal.

She can enjoy being centre of attention and these types of women may be found on stage either singing or acting or behind the scenes possibly writing.

If ill dignifed this Queen can be overly dramatic, have a bad temper, runs hot and cold and will do anything to be centre of attention. She may be arrogant or full of pride. Also domineering.

You don't seem to be describing a Queen of Wands so much as a personality disorder. This boss of yours sounds like a classic narcissist.

 

[Starshower]

THANK YOU, caridwen!

Instant free therapy of the best kind: challenging me, presenting a different perspective (I only saw 'hot-tempered' & loud, but not 'warm'. Doh!) and yet validating my feelings.

My acquaintance is not my own boss, fortunately, but is the relative of someone very close to me, whom I must see often socially, & must always politely fall into line. Cringe. Yes, she had 'sex appeal' in a very loud, crude, vulgar & indiscriminate way when younger - but couldn't keep any of her many lovers for long. Subservience didn't appeal, so they fled. So 'damn sexy' is right - with emphasis on the 'damn'. Forceful promiscuity didn't serve her well.
Actually, several employees escaped too.
Yes, these are (or can be) characteristics of the Q of Rods reversed, or ill-dignified, as you point out.

Yes, I appreciate what you say about her good points. Warmth, energy, generosity & creativity - yes, I can see those in this Queen's archetype now. And humour.

I need another, nicer example of this Queen to replace my one above.
And I need to get over my dread of this card coming up in readings & making my heart sink.
Thanks!

 

[caridwen]

THANK YOU, caridwen!

Instant free therapy of the best kind: challenging me, presenting a different perspective (I only saw 'hot-tempered' & loud, but not 'warm'. Doh!) and yet validating my feelings.

You're welcome.

Yes, she had 'sex appeal' in a very loud, crude, vulgar & indiscriminate way when younger - but couldn't keep any of her many lovers for long. Subservience didn't appeal, so they fled. So 'damn sexy' is right - with emphasis on the 'damn'. Forceful promiscuity didn't serve her well.

Yes I can see the Queen as somewhat domineering to some people and also a little crude. She reminds me of the music hall actresses who were a little rough around the edges, a tad promiscuous and with a heart of gold. That is her at her least sophisticated.

Again your description isn't so much Queen of Wands as person with personality disorder or some other mental illness. Forcing yourself on people is a crime in most countries and not considered normal behaviour by any means. It also sounds a tad King of Wands ill dignified if truth be told.

People clash with some personalities. Maybe you just clash with the Queen of Wands type. Sometimes however and more interestingly our strong dislike of a certain 'type' points to deeper issues within ourselves that could do with further examination.

I need another, nicer example of this Queen to replace my one above.
And I need to get over my dread of this card coming up in readings & making my heart sink.

I think that an interesting idea would be to work with this intense dislike and do a spread on what it is about her that you dislike so much. It would lead to a great deal of self insight. You could also do a spread on how to deal with her so it causes minimum stress.

 

[SirRushing]

Sorry but not letting you get away with this

Queen of Wands is warm, generous, loyal, artistic and dynamic. She's proactive and burning with energy. She is compassionate and has a good sense of humour. She forgives easily.

She is damn sexy too! She sizzles with sex appeal.

She can enjoy being centre of attention and these types of women may be found on stage either singing or acting or behind the scenes possibly writing.

If ill dignifed this Queen can be overly dramatic, have a bad temper, runs hot and cold and will do anything to be centre of attention. She may be arrogant or full of pride. Also domineering.

You don't seem to be describing a Queen of Wands so much as a personality disorder. This boss of yours sounds like a classic narcissist.

Yes, but Queen Wands in extreme can be an "attention whore" which to me is sort of controlling by demanding everyone to make her the center of attention. She is a Prima Donna and a Diva aka a big pain in the ass and full of self-entitlement. Think Whitney Houston.

Queen Swords is nagging but always trying to tell you how to do things effectively and maturely aka "her way, not yours". Think someone worst than Judge Judy, or Nancy Grace.

My interpretation is true only for those who do not use reverses and if you ask the question "What makes this woman a pain in the ass, or tough to deal with, or what is her negative flaw?" and if Queen Wands and Queen Swords pops up, you better run if you consider yourself sane.