Diary of a Broken Soul

[Vesper]

Yes! The Temperance face is truly lovely.

And I was unable to open the Star card attachment as well, photocat. I thought it was just me, but now I think, maybe not?

 

[sacredashes]

Silence stirred my soul awake and I can feel the angels descending from heaven. In the stillness of the night, one can almost hear the wings of the warrior doves as they sweep across the land.

Are they listening to the prayers of the people or are they merely coming out to play? Are they watching over us or are they watching us as we sink into our darkest dreams?

I wonder if they can hear me as I write my thoughts down; will they hear a whisper fading into emptiness or a voiceless cry trying to be heard in a cacophony of thundering demands?

Will my prayers be carried on butterfly wings to be weighed for deliverance or will they rise to the heavens above.... along with the voices of the multitude to form a song of all souls waiting for redemption?

This night, I believe we are all angels though we know it not. This night, I believe that we... all of us... once soared the skies in the stillness of the night; listening to the voices of our lost brethren who prayed for solace, asking for a sign to tell them they are not forgotten.

This night, I chose to believe that we came here to live the mortal life so we can touch our brethren; hold them close to our beating hearts and whisper into their ear, "I love you as you love me."...

Yet with the rising of the sun, my thoughts will fade along with the silence and I will forget. I will see only strangers for my eyes are deceitful and I cannot see beyond the masks that hide the soul sleeping in fitful slumber.

I will not say "I love you as you love me.." unless here is a barter in exchange and I will not hold another close to my dying heart for fear it will be broken.

I wrote this piece months ago... I remember being restless as the witching hour drew near. Most nights, I'll hear voices having dialog in my head and think myself mad. The warlords will gather and tell stories... then they'll pass the cup around and enjoy the company. The brothers hold no grudges against each other for all that is in the past is written in their Hall of History but they will share a laugh over their misdemeanors of a time when Jahanam was young.... when they were young.

Today, I read a passage from the book II, Conversations with God by Neale Walsh. The god I fell in love with said:

Be a light in to the world, and hurt it not. Seek to build, not to destroy.

Bring My people home....

... and Neale asked, "How?"

By your shining example. Seek only Godliness. Speak only in truthfulness. Act only in love.

Live the Law of Love now and forevermore. Give everything, require nothing.

Avoid the mundane.

Do no accept the unacceptable.

Teach all who seek to learn from me.

Make every moment of your life an outpouring of love.

Use every moment to think the highest thought, say the highest word, do the highest deed. In this, glorify your Holy Self, and thus, too, glorify Me.

Bring peace to the Earth by bringing peace to all those whose lives you touch.

Be peace.

Feel and express in every moment your Divine Connection with the All, with every person, place, and thing.

Embrace every circumstance, own every fault, share every joy, contemplate every mystery, walk in every man's shoes, forgive every offense (including your own), heal every heart, honor every person's truth, adore every person's God, protect every person's rights, preserve every person's dignity, promote every person's interest, provide every person's needs, presume every person's holiness, present every person's greatest gift, produce every person's blessing, and pronounce every person's future secure in the assured love of God.

Be a living, breathing example of the Highest Truth that resides within you.

Speak humbly of yourself, lest someone mistake your Highest Truth for a boast.

Speak softly, lest someone think you are merely calling for attention.

Speak gently, that all might know of Love.

Speak openly, lest anyone think have something to hide.

Speak candidly, so you cannot be mistaken.

Speak often, so that your word may truly go forth.

Speak respectfully, that no one may be dishonored.

Speak lovingly, that every syllable may heal.

Speak of me with every utterance.

Make your life a gift. Remember always, you are the gift!

Be a gift to everyone who enters your life, and to everyone whose life you enter. Be careful not to enter another's life if you cannot be a gift.

(You can always be a gift, because you always are the gift - yet sometimes you don't let yourself know that.)

When someone enters your life unexpectedly, look for the gift that person has come to receive from you.

To which, Neale replied, "What an extraordinary way of putting it."

Why else do you think a person has come to you?

I tell you this: every person who has ever come to you has come to receive a gift from you. In so doing, he gives a gift to you - the gift of experiencing and fulfilling Who You Are.

When you see this simple truth, when you understand it, you see the greatest truth of all:

I HAVE SENT YOU NOTHING BUT ANGELS.

I would add more but.. instead, I would suggest... if you wish to read more, get the book. I merely wanted to share a piece of this God I told you about, the one I fell deeply in love with for the first time in my life. Beautiful, isn't she?

To know Who I Am, I had to discover Who I Am Not. To find the light that is in me, I had to brave the darkness that I may recognize "light" when I see it or I may mistake artificial illumination for Eternal Sunshine... and I did still do most times. Maybe that is why there is a constant need to turn over every stone, read every leaf, relish every heartache... to feel, to experience, to remember.

 

[sacredashes]

Love this! I was trying to view the new Star card but that attachment won't open. There weren't any comments on the card either which makes me assume that nobody has been able to see that one.

Yes! The Temperance face is truly lovely.

And I was unable to open the Star card attachment as well, photocat. I thought it was just me, but now I think, maybe not?

Thank you.. I was doing a T-Shirt design for a local printer. He wanted the Hannya Mask with the story depicted on the design. I have taken a detour because he was thinking of sticking to the beaten path; a traditional Hannya with details to show the myth. I decided to stay close to my truth and if he doesn't like it, well.... I killed the 7th Son of the 7th Sun... There is only me now, take it or leave it

In the Diary, I have always drawn inspiration from various cultures and mixed them together in a melting pot because I am a mutt so I appreciate the idea of the universal child. However, I have found that all cultures share a common vein and that somewhat tells me that we are not as far apart as we think we may be. Beneath the skin lies many rivers that flow with life and if we took a closer look... these rivers run red in everyone...

To know me, do not look at my porcelain skin...
Lest the color of my skin becomes my sin...
To love me, do not seek to own my heart...
Lest it breaks when you depart...

But before I embark on any journey, for every sacred art I etch on paper or skin is a wish made manifest, I spend many hours reading up on it. Anything I can find, any associations.. links... variations... deviations. For me personally, there is a need to understand the essence of the story and what it means to me. Then... somewhere in the process of absorbing the energy that is found between the lines, the energy gathers power and it shows itself in my mind's eye. It gives itself a face and its the face I'll try to honor with ink in place of blood.

The Hannya myth speaks of a female demon. One who is consumed by jealous rage... In this story (and there are many versions of it so... please don't take this as the gospel truth written in stone), she was the wife who was betrayed when her husband took another woman in her place, hence in her anguish, she transformed into a demonic entity.

In another version of this story, the Hannya was the spirit of a woman who came back to torment her lover's wife and a monk was asked to exorcise her. In doing so, he released her from her anger and jealousy and she found peace.

In the Tale of Genji the story goes:

"The shining Genji's wife, Aoi, is possessed by an evil spirit and confined to her sickbed. An itinerant mountain priest is summoned, and while he is offering incantations and prayers, the protagonist, the spirit of the shining Genji's old girlfriend, the Rokujo lady, who is jealous of his affection for Aoi, manifests.

The priest wages a bitter spiritual battle with the Rokujo lady, and at last the revengeful ghost is vanquished by his prayers and attains Buddhahood. It is noteworthy that the evil spirit never takes off the Hannya mask throughout her transformation into a Buddha. The Rokujo lady is still disturbed, but in the releasing of her madness she discovers a path to salvation, thus demonstrating that madness and sanity, suffering and salvation, are not unrelated to each other"

The Hannya mask is said to be dangerous and demonic, but also sorrowful and tormented displaying the complexity of human emotions. Further meaning behind the mask is found in the definition of hannya a Sino-Japanese word for prajna or wisdom. The word Hannya is associated with madness, but in Buddhism it signifies wisdom of enlightenment.

To be honest, Japanese themed art is not one of my strengths but as an artist, I understand the need to constantly challenge my skill in order to grow. So I took up the offer even if I did not know how it will turn out. I'll post her up tonight. The lady Temperance whose spirit is polished by her personal torment and so...

the goddess who rises above all else will shine brighter than the sun.

 

[Alta]

Hi Ash,

I guess all artists encounter others like the person who commissioned the Hannya work who do not see art as the artist does. A good fit between client and artist or else a client willing to open their eyes wider is needed.

I was struck by your Hannya story, I had not heard of those before though knew that masks were common in Japanese stories and plays.

 

[sacredashes]

3 of Clubs / Wands

Hi Ash,

I guess all artists encounter others like the person who commissioned the Hannya work who do not see art as the artist does. A good fit between client and artist or else a client willing to open their eyes wider is needed.

I was struck by your Hannya story, I had not heard of those before though knew that masks were common in Japanese stories and plays.

I'll know soon enough if he wants it or not. If he declines, well... I will have a Temperance card for the The Diary II... along with Justice and Magician. Nothing gets wasted around here..

*******************************************

There was good news... then there will be bad news... but until the time comes, let's have a little fun re-visiting The Diary for a little while.

Would the Lord of the Storm Riders whisk you away to the tallest peaks only to throw you down a bottomless pit... and race after you like a Peregrine falcon after its prey moments before you crash?

Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew. - Guillaume Apollinaire

If you are familiar with the RWS imagery, then....

A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for. - William Shedd

It was Samiri who watched Lytta take flight; knowing the Lord of the Storm Riders would throw caution to the wind and wreck his vengeance upon the children of the earth.

He would lure the children to the edge and push them. Some flew, others fell... and of those who fell, some learned to pick themselves up again. The ones who stay in the labyrinth too long were seduced by the darkness.

But the guides continue to call out for the lost ones, they search the ends of their world and ours for the ones who are lost in the pit... to show us that we can be free of the maze... if we have wings but refuse to use them, then use our limbs instead.

When Lytta came for me, I said to him...

"There must have been some mistake... I am not who you think I am.

Was it the scent of lilac roses that gave me away? The smell of one crashing down to earth at the speed of light; burning my wings away, tearing my skin apart as I fall from grace. The lights went out, a change took place and I am no longer who I was before."

He replied...

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. - e.e. cummings

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. Albert Einstein

Two qualities are indispensable: first, an intellect that, even in the darkest hour, retains some glimmerings of the inner light which leads to truth; and second, the courage to follow this faint light wherever it may lead. - Karl Von Clausewitz

 

[MoonGypsy]

Oh, i am sooooo looking forward to the New Diary...

 

[MsRubyRain]

Oh, i am sooooo looking forward to the New Diary...

Me too!

 

[sacredashes]

Starlog dated 13th March 2011

Just wanted to update you guys and thank you for being sssooooOOOOO supportive throughout this attempt.

I am working on a project with my sister (and we are having so much fun at it, I had to choose between putting the funds into this print or that project.... ARRRRGGGHHHHHH..... so... after much deliberation... I have come to terms with certain conditions that does not allow me to proceed with the mass market print of The Diary after all.

Yes, it was hard having to let this go but it was a sacrifice that will hopefully pave the way for something else.

However... I can never say goodbye to Jahanam. Ever since my guide came for me, this place that exist yet does not exist has become my sanctuary.

So even if we step away from The Diary, I have embarked on another journey and I will share it with you in another thread.


**Do not fret my friends.... The Diary full deck may not be available in print form but it is still available online for free readings When I etched the journey of The Diary, I was pretty much in the same place Dante found himself...

Dante's Inferno

Canto 1
Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.

Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say
What was this forest savage, rough, and stern,
Which in the very thought renews the fear.

So bitter is it, death is little more;
But of the good to treat, which there I found,
Speak will I of the other things I saw there. ....

The Tower fell and my life as I knew it, turned to dust before my eyes... It has been emotionally painful, cognitively stressful but spiritually liberating. I have died many deaths and rose from the ashes of my former self. This much I know for sure; I cannot go back the way I came.

Look to the Starseed Rebellion, that is where the journey continues

 

[Alta]

Ash, that is quite a surprise but of course we don't know all the ins and outs of your life (nor should we!). I am sorry that financially this isn't going to happen, though I am one of lucky ones that managed to get a copy of your deck but wish you nothing but the best in your other project!!! Alta

 

[MoonGypsy]

Ash, the next sound you hear is my loud wailing and gnashing of my teeth...

Yes, i have to admit i am very sad and disappointed. i have no diary anymore...i gave mine to a dear friend who really wanted one, and i thought there was going to be another...so....

i want to hold the cards in my hand, not look at my computer screen...*sniff sniff:...whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

i do wish you blessings and great success with your new project... i will get over my "Diary" disappointment eventually.

Hugs and Blessings,
MGxxx