Emperor guy and a Marriage Proposal

[Girl Archer]

there is this guy with whom I have shared a crush/hate relationship for a couple of years. (both from my side... from his side the douchey-ness has kind of been consistent). We have been on/off friends for a while now and have started really talking more and now that I have gotten to know him better, i understand the motive behind his actions and he has earned my respect (only grudgingly). He sprang a marriage proposal today and I just did Mary K Greer's Y/N spread and got a wheel + Emperor. so basically that means I am saying Yes to an emperor kind of guy or that the emperor gets what he wants, by hook or crook?

(i must add here that he has been pursuing me for two years or so now...never directly indicating anything but it has always been there.)

So, pros and cons of saying yes to an Emperor guy? I am not basing my answer solely on this reading of course but i just think it would be nice to see what other interps people may have on this issue...

 

[Alissa]

As an archetype, the Emperor is a solid fellow, very reliable. He's the kind you can always count on to make the hard decisions, and his logic is often swayed by the needs of the many (and not so often the needs of the few, or the one).

A great image once given to the Emperor for me was the center tent pole... the support system that keeps everything "up."

On the downside, he can be rigid in thinking, and stubborn if he believes himself right. He is solid (all 4s are) but he can be difficult in negotiations if he takes that rigidity into the discussion.

Lastly, often folks play up the "Father" element to his energy. He is, after all, good at taking care of those around him. But he expects to be obeyed (usually without question) as a result.

 

[starrystarrynight]

I'm not familiar with Mary Greer's Yes/No spread (maybe you could post a link here?) But I would keep in mind that it appears that the Wheel comes first, clarified by the Emperor. So (again, depending upon the spread,) mightn't that make a difference?

At face value, if you're looking for a Yes/No answer to the question of marrying this guy, I'd say the Wheel says that if you do, prepare for his continued "douchey-ness" because the Emperor is not going to change--that is the way he controls things. He will not turn romantic, you know?

 

[Thirteen]

What are you?

A great image once given to the Emperor for me was the center tent pole... the support system that keeps everything "up."

That is a great image! Wonderfully succinct. Thanks. I'm gonna remember that.

Girl Archer, it actually sounds like you're saying "yes" to a Wheel sort of guy clarified by the Emperor--is that right? The Wheel is expansive, fun, exciting, but not predictable. And for all his solidity and control, the Emperor is very much the same. You can't predict him because he's reacting to the bigger picture, the one you don't see. It's like you yelling at a little kid who stepped out into the street. The kid does't know it's dangerous, but you do, so you yell. You reacted to the bigger picture that the kid didn't and can't see.

That's the Wheel (Jupiter, the king of gods and planets) and the Emperor (ruler of the empire). They react in accordance with a bigger picture. Up or down, this way or that. He decides, you go along with it. The ups will be magnificently up, with the Emperor winning great battles, having amazing parties, in charge with you as his side. The lows will be difficult, with the Emperor raging, sulking, demanding. Is that all right with you? This is not going to be a quiet or easy partnership, but it will be grand.

And I would add one more thing--you should find out what you are in the relationship. An Empress, for example, can handle and thrive with an Emperor, be his equal and partner. She handles him, he handles her. But someone like a Page/Cups will not survive well with an Emperor. I recommend you remove all majors and courts, shuffle and ask that question of the card...unless you know the answer already. What are you in this relationship?

Oh, and the most important question to ask yourself before answering: if you said "no" and that meant he'd go away and you'd never see him again...how would you feel?

 

[Girl Archer]

Thanks Thirteen!

That is a great image! Wonderfully succinct. Thanks. I'm gonna remember that.

It actually sounds like you're saying "yes" to a Wheel sort of guy clarified by the Emperor--is that right? The Wheel is expansive, fun, exciting, but not predictable. And for all his solidity and control, the Emperor is very much the same. You can't predict him because he's reacting to the bigger picture, the one you don't see. It's like you yelling at a little kid who stepped out into the street. The kid does't know it's dangerous, but you do, so you yell. You reacted to the bigger picture that the kid didn't and can't see.

All that makes sense but except he is no fun, pretty boring, stuck-up, judgmental and sexist, rude and old-fashioned. So, I could see him being a stereotypical Emperor. And in this example, the kid would have to be me and he would be the yelling Emperor reacting to the bigger picture? Sheesh.

That's the Wheel (Jupiter, the king of gods and planets) and the Emperor (ruler of the empire). They react in accordance with a bigger picture. Up or down, this way or that. He decides, you go along with it. The ups will be magnificently up, with the Emperor winning great battles, having amazing parties, in charge with you as his side. The lows will be difficult, with the Emperor raging, sulking, demanding. Is that all right with you? This is not going to be a quiet or easy partnership, but it will be grand.

Oh God, NO! I couldn't stand that. Firstly, reading all this, I get the idea that it wouldn't be a partnership, in the true sense of the word. I probably wouldn't be treated as an equal. I am not just speculating, I know he adopts that patronizing tone with me.. simple because he has traveled more, experienced more and holds a hifi steady job, while I am only a student.

And I would add one more thing--you should find out what you are in the relationship. An Empress, for example, can handle and thrive with an Emperor, be his equal and partner. She handles him, he handles her. But someone like a Page/Cups will not survive well with an Emperor. I recommend you remove all majors and courts, shuffle and ask that question of the card...unless you know the answer already. What are you in this relationship?

I think I might be okay. I have never had a very deep and meaningful bond with him.

Oh, and the most important question to ask yourself before answering: if you said "no" and that meant he'd go away and you'd never see him again...how would you feel?

I have inserted my comments here in orange Thanks for your help in decoding this reading.

 

[Girl Archer]

As an archetype, the Emperor is a solid fellow, very reliable. He's the kind you can always count on to make the hard decisions, and his logic is often swayed by the needs of the many (and not so often the needs of the few, or the one).

A great image once given to the Emperor for me was the center tent pole... the support system that keeps everything "up."

On the downside, he can be rigid in thinking, and stubborn if he believes himself right. He is solid (all 4s are) but he can be difficult in negotiations if he takes that rigidity into the discussion.

Lastly, often folks play up the "Father" element to his energy. He is, after all, good at taking care of those around him. But he expects to be obeyed (usually without question) as a result.

Thanks Alissa. To top it all, he is a number 4 by birth and is completely rigid. The last bit is a problem. I cannot EVER obey without questioning. I am an inquisitive Sagi by nature...

 

[bogiesan]

All that makes sense but except he is no fun, pretty boring, stuck-up, judgmental and sexist, rude and old-fashioned. So, I could see him being a stereotypical Emperor. And in this example, the kid would have to be me and he would be the yelling Emperor reacting to the bigger picture? Sheesh. Oh God, NO! I couldn't stand that. Firstly, reading all this, I get the idea that it wouldn't be a partnership, in the true sense of the word. I probably wouldn't be treated as an equal. I am not just speculating, I know he adopts that patronizing tone with me.. simple because he has traveled more, experienced more and holds a hifi steady job, while I am only a student.To top it all, he is a number 4 by birth and is completely rigid. The last bit is a problem. I cannot EVER obey without questioning. I am an inquisitive Sagi by nature...

From an older and wiser man's point of view, if you and I were friends or coworkers and we went out after a day on the film set for espresso or sushi and you told me this story, I'd want to know why you did not turn over the three, eight, nine and ten of swords, all in a row, with The Devil on the side? Forget tarot cards. You've described a leftover from the early 1950s, a sad and stereotypical ür-male, a pathetic mutant who should not have survived the culling of college life.

Run away. There are lots of good men, and women, with whom you have time to develop loving, trusting, caring, long-term relationships based on respect and goodness.

 

[SA12]

there is this guy with whom I have shared a crush/hate relationship for a couple of years. (both from my side... from his side the douchey-ness has kind of been consistent). We have been on/off friends for a while now and have started really talking more and now that I have gotten to know him better, i understand the motive behind his actions and he has earned my respect (only grudgingly). He sprang a marriage proposal today and I just did Mary K Greer's Y/N spread and got a wheel + Emperor. so basically that means I am saying Yes to an emperor kind of guy or that the emperor gets what he wants, by hook or crook?

(i must add here that he has been pursuing me for two years or so now...never directly indicating anything but it has always been there.)

So, pros and cons of saying yes to an Emperor guy? I am not basing my answer solely on this reading of course but i just think it would be nice to see what other interps people may have on this issue...

Wow! What a day you must be having lol oh boy... Well, I'm going to agree with Thirteen -- the happiness one has with an 'Emperor' archetype guy really depends on where you are and how you identify. If your gut is telling you he's too rigid and old-fashioned, bid him well and go along your way. Edited: I see in your other post that he's older than you? Based on the description he sounds more like an ill-dignified Emperor trying to manipulate someone he perceives as more vulnerable -- not cool! Not to bring up Nabokov lol, but there's something very Lolita sounding about this, even though you are a grown woman! What a curious power-play you two have going on... It's also possible he's putting you on a pedestal as another "artifact" to rule over and protect in his kingdom. Either way, it doesn't seem like you want to settle just yet, so keep on walking confidently...unless you are ready to be an Empress and spar right back at him! lol

 

[SirRushing]

Originally Posted by Girl Archer
All that makes sense but except he is no fun, pretty boring, stuck-up, judgmental and sexist, rude and old-fashioned. So, I could see him being a stereotypical Emperor. And in this example, the kid would have to be me and he would be the yelling Emperor reacting to the bigger picture? Sheesh. Oh God, NO! I couldn't stand that. Firstly, reading all this, I get the idea that it wouldn't be a partnership, in the true sense of the word. I probably wouldn't be treated as an equal. I am not just speculating, I know he adopts that patronizing tone with me.. simple because he has traveled more, experienced more and holds a hifi steady job, while I am only a student.To top it all, he is a number 4 by birth and is completely rigid. The last bit is a problem. I cannot EVER obey without questioning. I am an inquisitive Sagi by nature...

But yet, you are still with him...on and off. Sorry, girly. He already got you figured out. If you were truly tired of his behind, you wouldn't be associating with him in life at all. If he did propose for you, he realized that you are perfect for him, because you have tolerated him for so long. He feels that he can change you, because if you were truly disgusted by his ways, then you would have walked the walk and not talked the talked a long time ago.

So stop fooling yourself. Do you like and desire this man or not, because how do you, by your own words, give him respect BEGRUDGEDLY??? With a love and hate relationship??? You two have some "sick" twisted power play relationship of him wanting to dominate you, but you pretending that you don't want that, but yet you stay in a relationship with him regardless of claiming that you don't want him and his sexist, dominating and high all mighty behavior. He chose you for marriage, because you are PERFECT for him by succumbing to his power play and tolerating it. So you taking so much this far means for him that you will take a whole lot more.

Men are smart, they know how to pick women, especially women who profess who claim to want one thing, but they actually take the other.

You want to know what on and off relationships mean to a man? YOU AIN'T GOING NO WHERE SO STOP FOOLING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LEAVE HIM FOR GOOD!

Or maybe that is why you got that Hierophant + Lovers card in the other thread. Maybe you are going to marry him regardless. Tarot knows what is up.

 

[SA12]

But yet, you are still with him...on and off. Sorry, girly. He already got you figured out. If you were truly tired of his behind, you wouldn't be associating with him in life at all. If he did propose for you, he realized that you are perfect for him, because you have tolerated him for so long. He feels that he can change you, because if you were truly disgusted by his ways, then you would have walked the walk and not talked the talked a long time ago.

So stop fooling yourself. Do you like and desire this man or not, because how do you, by your own words, give him respect BEGRUDGEDLY??? With a love and hate relationship??? You two have some "sick" twisted power play relationship of him wanting to dominate you, but you pretending that you don't want that, but yet you stay in a relationship with him regardless of claiming that you don't want him and his sexist, dominating and high all mighty behavior. He chose you for marriage, because you are PERFECT for him by succumbing to his power play and tolerating it. So you taking so much this far means for him that you will take a whole lot more.

Men are smart, they know how to pick women, especially women who profess who claim to want one thing, but they actually take the other.

You want to know what on and off relationships mean to a man? YOU AIN'T GOING NO WHERE SO STOP FOOLING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LEAVE HIM FOR GOOD!

Or maybe that is why you got that Hierophant + Lovers card in the other thread. Maybe you are going to marry him regardless. Tarot knows what is up.

O. O wow! Sir Rushing! I'm watching this thread, digging your male perspective lol