Ethics - When does a relationship reading turn into a third party reading?

[AngelDancer]

Hi there,

I have a question about relaionship readings. As I try to stick to the
ethics of my Tarot Assocation (TABI), I sometimes get confused about where to draw the line in a relationship reading.

So far, none of my clients have asked on behalf of a partner who has
actually consented to have his cards read, so I've had to tread very
carefully. On quite a few occasions, I've declined to perform readings
that I perceive more as psychic spying (which is totally against my own personal ethics as well) than relationship readings.

Most relationship spreads include quite 'probing' card positions about how the other person feels about the client etc... How do people in the Aeclectic community tackle this problem?

When does a relationship reading actually turn into a third party reading/psychic spying?


Thank you in advance,

AngelDancer

 

[Sinduction]

I don't have any problems relaying messages from the tarot. I don't see the harm in it. I don't consider it immoral or wrong. If it comes up in a read I figure that person is in need of the information. It isn't like we give out home addresses or unlisted phone numbers.

I also read differently and don't put any placement on the cards. But if I had information about someone else I would tell my readee.

But if you feel uncomfortable doing so then don't do it. It is all up to you. You could change the spread or change it to suit your needs in a better way.

 

[HonestPuck]

Well, I'm not sure what your code of ethics is like but I'll try to answer your question anyway.

I think that if you keep the focus on the querent and not on their boyfriend/girlfriend/co-worker etc, then it's fine. Like asking how the relationship is affecting the querent, how the querrent might try to fix the relationship, or where the relationship is going. If you keep the focus on how things are regarding the querent, or consider the relationship as one entity ('us' instead of 'you' and 'me') then you should be fine.

If someone comes to you asking for a third party reading, explain your ehtics to them and suggest re-wording the question or focus. And if they are too stubborn to execpt that, then I think it would be best to turn them down for a reading.

 

[AngelDancer]

The problem is that it isn't just up to me, as I'm bound by the ethics of my tarot association. In general, I agree with the rule of not doing third party readings but it easily becomes a grey zone with relationship readings.

My personal reasons for choosing not to do third party readings are that if I'm not happy about others trying to read my mind or emotions using the cards, then I shouldn't be doing it to someone else - it's the Golden Rule - and also I don't find it empowering/constructive to 'spy'.

I agree that it's usually possible to shift the focus from "what does x think about me" to "how can I make this relationship work", but not all clients are happy about that...

Cheers,

AD

 

[Grizabella]

A great big percentage of the readings you'll do will be people wanting to know about their relationships and what they want to know isn't their own thoughts and feelings---they already know those. They want to know the thoughts and feelings of the person they either have a relationship with or want to have one with. If you want to read professionally, you'll lose a ton of business if you won't do those readings.

I think what's unethical in readings is when you extort someone for hundreds or thousands of dollars to take a curse off of them or when you charge to make a love spell or something, so yes---I do believe there can be unethical behavior among readers who do that. Otherwise, just read the cards.

 

[MysticalMoose]

I agree Lyric, People come & ask these questions, usually so that they can improve/begin relationships, help someone they care about, or avoid making a fool of themselves amongst the reasons. I dont see a problem as long as you are concentrating on the sitters point of view within the situation & read the cards.....

 

[AngelDancer]

Thank you, Lyric - I enjoyed reading about your views on this. I'm aware of the 'losing business' factor already... Lose business or lose soul... hmmm... I'm not 100% certain about where I stand on this issue (hence the reason for starting this thread), but I am certain that I have to know where I draw the line for myself.

It actually feels unethical keeping information from the client as well... Oh great, I'm making myself even more confused now LOL

 

[AngelDancer]

MysticalMoose - thank you for sharing. I suppose the motive of the client does make a difference... and I suppose that's where I unconsciously draw the line for psychic spying... Hmmmmm... I'm just going to have to accept that I'll be confused about this issue for a while longer... LOL

 

[Kahlie]

First, I had this very strict rule...
No Third Party Readings, no Relationship Readings without consent of the partner that included positions for the partner...

That would be positions on: "What does my partner feel/what does my partner want" etc. etc.

This is because besides Reading the Cards, I got tons of information through Psychic means. It wouldn't not include phone numbers, but emotions/physical health/intimate details would be included, and I wouldn't want anybody else knowing about this without my permission EITHER. I do consider this spying and it would get me very upset.

Then, I started realizing a lot, that sometimes people come for themselves, and I get information about their sons/daughters, about the deceased, about somebody around them... people they did not ask about, but showed up anyway...

Now what was I supposed to do with that? It wasn't until recently that I found a solution that I could live with.

1) I don't read without consent
2) If I do get information, that I did not consciously search for, it's probably meant for that person anyway, and I ask for another confirmation to my Guides to tell me if it's ok to tell that person this information that is about somebody else.
If not, I will ask for an e-mail address/phone number and rely important information directly to the person.

I don't care if it costs me clients, and I've never noticed that per se. I kindly remind people that they wouldn't want me to tell the kind of information I just got for them to their partners either...

Kahlie

 

[Pao]

I been thinking a lot about that lately as well. but I agree with Lyrics and Mystical. I do understand where it would seem like an invasion of privacy if you will, reading for or about third party but for a relationship question it affects the querent so it seems almost impossible not to read about the other persons feelings regarding the situation, no? I dont know I always think if someone reads my cards everyone around me playing an important role at that time will come out in them ie. my dad and his job and how it (if) affects me etc. so for love relationships I figure it would say "he does feel the same"
do I make sense?? I just confused myself! lol