JustJazzie
Ive always had quite interesting, vivid dreams and have been keeping a journal of the more vivid ones for about a year now. Ever since I gave up caffeine though, I swear I am getting the most intense and vivd dreams every single night. The last 2 nights (I'll add the dreams, but they are a bit lengthy) My dreams are pointing to the idea that I am too scared to pursue my passions and life purpose.
I am trying to understand if these dreams are simply fear based, (as in, I am afraid that I am not pursuing my life purpose BECAUSE I am afraid) or if they are sending me a message that I actually need to overcome those fears and shift into major life changes.
Any idea how to tell the difference?
Dream 1
I dreamt that I was in school, and had gym class last period. As I wandered the school during a break, I was upset by how big the principals office was. Took up 1/4 of the school, with large picture windows and a V shape wall overlooking outside. I decided I would skip that period and go home early masturbate. So I got into my car and started driving. When I see in my rear view mirror a motorcycle crash through the intersection. No one seems to be stopping so I pull over and walk back to him. He has a phone and he's on the line with 911. I explain the situation and he wants me to stay with him. He keeps touching me/trying to hold me, and I'm so worried about his blood being diseased and repulsed by the gushing. When the 911 operator asks if there is anything else they need to know, the victim responds "You may have to delay treatment" As he opens his mouth, he is chewing this gross substance (looks like tobacco, but I immediately know its some terrible kind of drug, and take a step back.) All of the sudden someone else comes into the scene and there is an altercation between the two men. I run away terrified, and as I am running I hear gunshots and the motorcycle victim says " Its okay! It was just my drug dealer! I shot him! He's dead! Please come back and stay with me." I just keep running and running through the night. I've wandered so far that by morning I don’t even know where I am. I realized that I dropped my backpack with my Ipad in it at the scene. So I'm trying to get back there (for some reason the car never crossed my dream again) As I wander, The victim comes out of the house and yells "Why didn’t you stay with me?!" I escape the grasp he has on my arm and continue wandering. I call the police, trying to find the name of the intersection there was an accident at last night and they wont tell me. When I finally find it on my phones map, I get closer and closer. When I hear the exact intersection mentioned by a few people on their porch, looking at craigslist. I ask "is someone selling an ipad over there?!" Yes, they responded. I was so mad that my ipad was "stolen" and I probably wouldn't get it back. I kept walking and walking, and eventually woke up…….
Dream 2
I dreamt that first I was a queen. With many responsibilities and not much time to socialize. I had incredibly beautiful medieval type clothing. I remember fixing my hair every day. At one point I wet it down, and when I ran the comb through my hair, I lost CHUNCKS from the middle to the ends of my hair. Eventually Eric (an old crush) came to visit me and I was SOO happy to see him. We embraced and I just let him hold me for a while as all my worries, cares and responsibilities just melted away. Before having to return to my duty as queen. I asked him to hang around and wait for me, I would make time to spend with him. I saw him, standing around waiting for me for sometime, but my duties came forth and I never really had the time to see him again. Eventually he was gone. When I realized this, I chased him. I left my position as queen and tracked him down where he and I were both working in a target. This was a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD then the one I ruled over previously. Very modern. After a period of contentment, and learning the rhythms of this new place, there was some sort of theft scheme going on in the store, and someone accused Eric of being part of it. Eventually, I ran away from a shift where they were trying to accuse practically EVERYONE of being involved in some way or another.
After that I went to work in an airport. Mostly in the office, and delivering food, I think as a waitress. I was so heartbroken that I had left Eric behind at target. But I continued to work. Always missing him. At some point there was a burglary of the office/restaurant. I tried to call 911, but there was no time. They simply came in and hung up the phone. Not wanting to work in that environment anymore, I moved into the outer parts of the airport to work as a janitor. I was cleaning and cleaning, day in and day out. Eventually on a shift break I wandered into the main airport and realized there were so many stores that I never knew existed, right outside my daily life. Clothing stores, rocks shops, skater clothing stores and book stores…… And I realized that I had been wasting my life away cleaning the airport (and in all these other jobs) and that there was so much more out there. I went inside and sat down having an inner emotional meltdown. I started writing and getting this intuitive message of sorts- the words were not coming from me, but from outside myself. "you were never supposed to stay here" " this is where you were supposed to "figure it all out" "it was just a stop" "Why didn’t you chase Eric" "How did you get so comfortable here?" "You were a QUEEN and left for love. Now look at you. You're nothing but a janitor" "You must find your way back"…….
I am trying to understand if these dreams are simply fear based, (as in, I am afraid that I am not pursuing my life purpose BECAUSE I am afraid) or if they are sending me a message that I actually need to overcome those fears and shift into major life changes.
Any idea how to tell the difference?
Dream 1
I dreamt that I was in school, and had gym class last period. As I wandered the school during a break, I was upset by how big the principals office was. Took up 1/4 of the school, with large picture windows and a V shape wall overlooking outside. I decided I would skip that period and go home early masturbate. So I got into my car and started driving. When I see in my rear view mirror a motorcycle crash through the intersection. No one seems to be stopping so I pull over and walk back to him. He has a phone and he's on the line with 911. I explain the situation and he wants me to stay with him. He keeps touching me/trying to hold me, and I'm so worried about his blood being diseased and repulsed by the gushing. When the 911 operator asks if there is anything else they need to know, the victim responds "You may have to delay treatment" As he opens his mouth, he is chewing this gross substance (looks like tobacco, but I immediately know its some terrible kind of drug, and take a step back.) All of the sudden someone else comes into the scene and there is an altercation between the two men. I run away terrified, and as I am running I hear gunshots and the motorcycle victim says " Its okay! It was just my drug dealer! I shot him! He's dead! Please come back and stay with me." I just keep running and running through the night. I've wandered so far that by morning I don’t even know where I am. I realized that I dropped my backpack with my Ipad in it at the scene. So I'm trying to get back there (for some reason the car never crossed my dream again) As I wander, The victim comes out of the house and yells "Why didn’t you stay with me?!" I escape the grasp he has on my arm and continue wandering. I call the police, trying to find the name of the intersection there was an accident at last night and they wont tell me. When I finally find it on my phones map, I get closer and closer. When I hear the exact intersection mentioned by a few people on their porch, looking at craigslist. I ask "is someone selling an ipad over there?!" Yes, they responded. I was so mad that my ipad was "stolen" and I probably wouldn't get it back. I kept walking and walking, and eventually woke up…….
Dream 2
I dreamt that first I was a queen. With many responsibilities and not much time to socialize. I had incredibly beautiful medieval type clothing. I remember fixing my hair every day. At one point I wet it down, and when I ran the comb through my hair, I lost CHUNCKS from the middle to the ends of my hair. Eventually Eric (an old crush) came to visit me and I was SOO happy to see him. We embraced and I just let him hold me for a while as all my worries, cares and responsibilities just melted away. Before having to return to my duty as queen. I asked him to hang around and wait for me, I would make time to spend with him. I saw him, standing around waiting for me for sometime, but my duties came forth and I never really had the time to see him again. Eventually he was gone. When I realized this, I chased him. I left my position as queen and tracked him down where he and I were both working in a target. This was a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD then the one I ruled over previously. Very modern. After a period of contentment, and learning the rhythms of this new place, there was some sort of theft scheme going on in the store, and someone accused Eric of being part of it. Eventually, I ran away from a shift where they were trying to accuse practically EVERYONE of being involved in some way or another.
After that I went to work in an airport. Mostly in the office, and delivering food, I think as a waitress. I was so heartbroken that I had left Eric behind at target. But I continued to work. Always missing him. At some point there was a burglary of the office/restaurant. I tried to call 911, but there was no time. They simply came in and hung up the phone. Not wanting to work in that environment anymore, I moved into the outer parts of the airport to work as a janitor. I was cleaning and cleaning, day in and day out. Eventually on a shift break I wandered into the main airport and realized there were so many stores that I never knew existed, right outside my daily life. Clothing stores, rocks shops, skater clothing stores and book stores…… And I realized that I had been wasting my life away cleaning the airport (and in all these other jobs) and that there was so much more out there. I went inside and sat down having an inner emotional meltdown. I started writing and getting this intuitive message of sorts- the words were not coming from me, but from outside myself. "you were never supposed to stay here" " this is where you were supposed to "figure it all out" "it was just a stop" "Why didn’t you chase Eric" "How did you get so comfortable here?" "You were a QUEEN and left for love. Now look at you. You're nothing but a janitor" "You must find your way back"…….