Lesson 10 Meditation Pathwalker
So now at last I’m ready to travel to the Stone Circle. I leave the village, sad and smoking ruins, and walk towards the plain. I see the Circle from a long way off, and walk over short turf to where the stones stand, crisp and new, none fallen. And I step inside, where a different kind of quietness seems to be.
And straight away I see myself a small child, lonely and playing alone. No-one hugged that child; they took care of it, but did not cherish it. Then the child at school. Glad of different things to play and explore, glad of books and sunshine, but already missing something, not able to be friends in the way some of the others do. Watching, trying to join in, but somehow not understanding the rules.
Then the world of work, playing the dangerous game of sexual attraction and flirting, never realising what a small smooth prize she might be, how vulnerable, weaving in and out of adult games now. Hardly yet her own person.
Then marriage, the game of confusion and compromise. There are years and years that follow, children to care for, spouse to appease, lost to self without knowing. Never quite fitting in, yet searching. Sometimes content, sometimes so very unhappy.
And finally, I see myself as the reflection of the person sitting in this very chair. I am becoming the person I seek. I don’t have to create of appease, or argue or change. I am just being. And I could become a person of depth, or I could loose myself in inane chatter and wasted time.
I fit in here, in the silence, in nature, in the inner world of learning.
And the Stones fade, and the Table appears. There are many folks – just ordinary folks, all kinds all ages. I feel a surge of unhappiness and unworthiness – they are smarter/younger/they’ve been here longer, I am nothing. But I pull those thoughts up short, they are not what’s important here – it’s the being, the searching, the service. And they look towards me, and they smile and I feel welcome. There’s a place for me, ad so shyly, with nothing yet to put on the table, I sit down.
And there is music – like voices singing, like bells, hard to describe but beautiful. And the Grail appears, mostly light, and within the light the shape changes, morphing between cup and bowl, cauldron and dish, colours and shapes swirling around. And I realise it doesn’t matter, because it is to each person the inspiration they need, and the gift to all. And the light brings a change, nature envelops us, clean and functioning. The sound of water running, children playing. Animals move, birdsong, all that we each associate with the wholeness of the planet in our place. And we see it, and believe that it can be, even if our part in it seems small. And the clear air, and light, fill us with hope and joy.
Then it is gone, and the table is empty except for me. But that’s okay, I know the way to walk. So I stand, and the Table and chairs fade away, and the Circle is back. I wonder about the gift, I think about several things I’d like it to be, and so when I look there is nothing – I had pushed aside the gift for the foolish imaginings. So I kneel down quietly, and when I look, there! A cup, small and ordinary. But I could drink from it everywhere I go, and remember, and be back here in that moment when the Grail was shining, and be filled again with what I needed.
I take the simple cup, and I am home.