I'm in a difficult place right now....

[yve]

I took up tarot about 4 years ago when I was going through some personal stuff and it did help me deal and cope with things, and all of you have helped me grow with my tarot and within myself as a person, and I'm so grateful to all of you for being there for me...however, the personal stuff got so intense and overwhelming, that I don't have the energy to do many day to day stuff, never mind reading, picking up cards, or participating in any groups or forums...Then my personal life took even more of a turn for the worse, with me ending up on a stress leave from work because of some very bad issues going on, and then my husband leaving me...as much as I want, I have a hard time getting out of my pajamas, never mind pick up a deck of cards...If it wasn't for my dog, which needs a walk several times a day, I don't know if i'd even get dressed each day (and I usually just cheat and let her out the back yard)...as much as i'd love to pick up tarot again, I can't even focus or concentrate.....I've even been thinking about getting rid of some of my cards to ease the financial burdens I have, but now realize, that the cards I can part with aren't worth anything, and the ones that may be worth something, I can't part with....I can't pick up my cards, but I can't get rid of them either...

 

[lolakate]

Hey, sending hugs your way

It's tough when life's like this. There's nothing I can say to make things better for you, but when I was at the lowest of the low, the thing that kept me holding on was just taking each second, minute, hour, day at a time, and just hanging in there. You might not be able to see a way out right now, but if you can just get by, keep focusing on the good things - you're still alive, you're still breathing, and try to find those things you want to keep going for (and no-one but you can tell you what they are) ... keep your cards, but perhaps for now wrap them up and hide them away, I never touched mine the entire time I was down and I'm glad I didn't - you might find they're just a visual trigger reminding you of the bad times. One day, you'll be able to bring them out in a time and place better than the one you're in now. I'm praying for you, keep strong sweetheart.

lolakate xxxx

 

[Umbrae]

As life is meant to be lived one day at a time - cards are meant to be read (lived, and experienced) one card at a time.

Live each day. Tarot can and will help you - if you choose - to live one day at a time.

 

[firecatpickles]

(((yve)))))) We have never posted together...

but Umbrae is right: Live one day at a time. This is all any of us can do. I would not be alive if I didn't.

God may not always give you want you want, but will always get what you need.

KK

 

[Northwind]

((((Yve))))

It may be that you need some professional help as well. A good counsellor - someone to speak with and help you get back into gear. Good friends and/or a self-help group can achieve the same end.

Some of the things you are describing are indicative of depression. The term Living a day at a time may be fairly difficult and meaningless if you don't know how to do that and you are completely alone.

It's about perhaps having some simple goals. Getting up, showering and having a meal, cleaning up the house so that you're happy to be there.

Going for a walk with your dog - taking her down to the park and taking pleasure in her happiness.

Going to the library or to the neighbourhood community house and chatting with others.

It's about having a simple program for yourself and following it.

Eventually your goals might expand and grow.

You can get through one day for sure. That is all any of us really have. So perhaps it's thinking just what you have to do for one day, not your whole life.

Depression is a time when the soul can learn what it needs to do to grow.

You are in my prayers. Take care and look after yourself.

 

[starrystarrynight]

[[[[ yve ]]]]

Just posting what you posted is a step in the right direction. Brava.

 

[huredriel]

((((((yve)))))) ... you have taken the first step ....... you have posted ...... shared ....... be brave and know that you have the inner strength to get through this ..... even if it may seem like a long and dark winding road right now ...... light WILL shine. Follow Umbrae's advice ....... one day at a time ...... and I would also say ...... try and find just one thing each day to be positive about ...... no matter how small or tiny that thing may be!

Sending hugs & light
x Huredriel

 

[WalesWoman]

(((yve)))... it's been a long time since I've seen you and wondered how you were, what you were doing... even tho' we didn't know one another well... you were someone familiar to me here, so I've feel sort of a kinship with you.

I'm so sorry to hear your life has taken a sharp turn south and really glad that you came here again, just to get it out of your system or help yourself to be guided back up out of the pits.

Tarot might be able to help, we can try to help by giving you strength, support and some TLC, but I think it would be good to talk with a doctor or health professional, a counsellor to help you get out of this depression, because it certainly sounds like a well deserved one. You seem to have a lot of issues that have hit you hard and need to be unkinked and worked out, even with readings given by another, I think this is something you can't ignore and need to see someone who can help you through this and start healing, to find those things that make life worth getting up for, and get back your enthusiasm for living.

I pulled one advice card for you to hold close to your heart for today and the future from the Radiant... Knight Swords.

This is not a lasting condition, sometimes you simply have to jump back on the horse and fake like you know what you are doing, put on your poker face and just do it, leap across the chasms with confidence and courage you may not believe, but act like it's there. Use that sword of your intellect to slice through the adverstiy, to cut out those things that cause you anquish... to be bold and do something new, refreshing, something that presents you with a challenge. You are hereby given a mission to accomplish, to put on your armor and bright colors of passion to live, the desire to change and the calm to collect yourself, to get yourself together. The winds of change are in the air blowing the clouds away... and you can and will enter a new phase with growth and a sense of accomplishment.

So take one step at a time, and sometimes it seems you are going backwards, but look at it as getting a good running start for taking big scary leaps away from the dark places.

All my best,

 

[Cosmotaroist]

I totally feel you....I'm in a quite similar situation with you....financial difficulty affecting the whole family....everyone all the sudden need jobs...while trying to maintain the bills.....And I'm having a hard time...I have almost stopped my daily Tarot reading and practices for about 2 weeks now...just dont have the mood for it.....

 

[jmd]

Umbrae replies to the situation mentioned (and unfortunately experienced) by yve in a way that, to my reading, shows one aspect where Tarot may be quite useful.

When I first read the thread, my first thought went to some thoughts on abjection and some of the papers Inna Semetsky has written on Tarot and the Tower - and then, not having been in contact with her for some time, I receive an email yesterday with a link to a new paper on precisely that:

Semanalysis in the Age of Abjection​

Of course, for any specific situation, each and every card has something that may shed insight and guidance into the situation at hand.

For example, in a case similar to that described by Yve, the Bateleur/Magician may, for example, point to getting the basics back in place in order to juggle to a semblance or normality; the Papess/High Priestess to perhaps the need to allow oneself to meditate and be guided to insights into the situation; for the Empress to take command of one's creative environment; for the Emperor... etc.

Here, however, what came to mind is more this sense of abjection - of a sense of feeling ripped apart from one's secure support framework, of the horror of such casting.

Where and how does one even begin to re-capture one's composure?

Somewhere, in another post, Umbrae also mentions his own rising above the vicissitudes of life's tempests that inequitably torrent upon some of us.

If the description as given above reminds me of the Tower, then, for the way I personally often use the Atouts (Major Arcana) at any rate, part of the way to transform the situation is twofold: on the one hand to reflect on the choices one has made and the consequences these have brought; on the other, that the ensuing card is that most wonderful card - that of the Star, of Hope!