"I'm thinking about ending it........"

[HighPriestesss]

I laid out the 10 card spread and began turning them over. My sitter wasn't interested at all in what I had to say. It irritated me.

"Are you paying attention to any of this???"

"I'm not interested in the past...I wanna know about the future..."

I pointed out, again, what the cards had to say in those positions. (i.e., life getting a little chaotic (Moon) and difficult choices to make (2 of Swords). That was as far as I got.

"I'm thinking about death. Is there anything there talking about dieing?" No.

Naturally, the reading took on a whole new somber tone. I gently asked if he was suffering from a disease? No. He had excellent health.

"I'm thinking about ending it....."

The actual reading ended there. I think I flipped 3 more cards, but there wasn't a Tower, 10 of Swords, Death or anything even close to his words.

I asked if he had recently lost his job? No. It was plain depression. I asked if he had called any professionals to talk about it? No. I suggested to him there were medications for depression. He didn't seem interested.

I recall on this board, somewhere (couldn't locate it during a search) a thread relating to hot-line numbers for suicide prevention, etc. I just never thought it would happen to me...to read someone in this situation.

And I wonder how common this is, in our tarot world?

Alternately, because the cards did NOT show this, could it be possible the guy was simply scamming me for some attention? (I read him 2 weeks ago and he didn't show any interest then, either...)

Whatcha think?

 

[gregory]

He sounds depressed. Such a total lack of interest is classic. Why he would want a reading I don't know - unless he was looking for someone - anyone - to listen. But getting a reading doesn't do that that much. Until you started asking him questions.....

Depression can lead to FEELING like ending it all but not actually wanting to... then again, it can also lead to saying you want to end it all - and doing it. Just because the cards didn't show this to you immediately doesn't mean he won't do it. He might even have been hoping you would pull a card and said yes yes, you are about to slit your wrists - to validate his going home to do just that. Very risky stuff. The cards may have fallen as they did just so as NOT to validate action on his part.

I would have hated this, and I would have given him the number of the Samaritans or something..... because I am no therapist and wouldn't have wanted to try and fix something without the skills to do so properly....

 

[Grizabella]

The cards may not have shown it because you weren't meant to be the one to see it or deal with it. We're not shown every single thing, you know. It's not like a water faucet we turn on and off.

A list of numbers is great. He might not make use of a number, but at least you know you did what you could. But those numbers are online and in the phone book, so maybe you could have accessed them that way for him.

 

[franniee]

I don't think he was scamming you! Not in the least. I think he could have an underlying chronic depression that flares up at times and makes him contemplate suicide.

The moon and 2 of swords looks like he is having a terrible time making the decision....

I have had a few people that were on the brink and countless that were very depressed. This is why lately I loathe going to the shop to read .... seems like it is a homing device for serious issues, deep sadness, and darkness.

And I wonder how common this is, in our tarot world?

This is unfortunate but it is prevalent - or at least in my experience reading. It is sad! Their emotions FLOOD me! Sometimes I can't breathe. What I do is keep reading until I can find a glimmer of light and a course of action or a way for them to focus on.

OF COURSE I refer them to a Dr., therapist, priest, friend, etc..... I do this gently because most of the time they are very touchy, very emotional, crying etc. but in the meantime I try and find a glimmer of hope for them or some understanding. Helping them to understand their feelings and why is sometimes the key.

I am a glass is half full girl so I usually can find the star in the mess.... or I die trying....

 

[Anna]

I haven't dealt with this in a reading, but have had plenty of experience through other work as a counsellor and volunteer for the Samaritans.

It is extreemly tough, but most of the time people don't really want to die. They just want to stop feeling the way they do, and death is a way out. I used to ask "do you want to be dead forever, or do you just want the pain you are feeling to stop?"

99% of the time, they say they want the pain to stop.

Don't be scared to ask someone if they are feeling suicidal, if you suspect that they are. It can be a relief to be asked, and to be able to honestly say thats how you feel, and can be the start of a healing conversation.

This is a hard thing to talk about, and being able to talk about it to someone who doesn't judge you and who isn't completly freaked out by what you are saying, really helps. People talk themselves down from these feelings, but they need the time, space, compassion, warmth and acceptance from you to be able to do it.

And most importantly, and most difficult for people to accept, don't focus on stoping them killing themselves. You'll just make them shut down and stop talking to you, and blow any chance you had of gaining their trust.

This is what it comes down to, when you are reading for money - many people come to us when they are desperate, and when they have exhausted other options. They make life changing decisions based on what we tell them, and in this case that could mean choosing to live or die. Its really scary, but that's the reality we have to face when reading for money.

 

[Sheri]

((((HighPriestess))))

You may want to check in your area to see if 211 is implemented in your area. It is the number where I live that you call if you need to know who to call in the cases of services and needs, i.e., like domestic violence, suicide, mental illnesses, etc. It's operated 24/7, 365 days a year and does away with the need to keep a large list of numbers to individual agencies, etc. What I do is call the number to get a list to give to the client.

Sheri

 

[nisaba]

The thing about depression is that it's demotivating, too. It makes you not want to *do* anything. It also makes you believe that change isn't really likely, there's no point. So whilst it is the "right" course of action for a reader to take to suggest - strongly - that a person see their doctor and discuss these issues with them, it's not going to make them feel all inspired and actually do it.

On the occasions that obviously clinically depressed people had readings from me, I've always suggested the power of modern medicine to help them get their lives back on track.

That being said, a friend of mine, a suburban doctor, told me recently that the practice has "lost" a patient recently (I forebore to interrupt and ask where she'd been looking) who had been a regular coming in frequently, but who was too demotivated to be bothered swallowing his medication at all regularly, and eventually took his own life.

She did everything she could. She knew beating herself up about it wouldn't change anything.

We can only do everything we can, too - which is to refer people on. We can't beat ourselves up about it, either.

 

[gregory]

Exactly. As a psychiatrist told us once - if someone is hell bent on suicide; they WILL manage to do it - whatever we do. If they aren't and you listen when asked and do no more than that, chances are they won't.

 

[Umbrae]

Just my opinion, your mileage may vary, don’t get excited.

I have the opposite view of everybody here.

By the time they come to the reader, they’ve already been given the phone numbers. I do not have, nor will I ever carry ‘emergency phone numbers’.

I read the cards. I have learned to trust the cards. Has it always worked? No. But I think she was gonna do it anyway, I was just a stop on the journey.

If you were @ RS09, you heard Valentina Burton say, “Sometimes you have to trust the cards, and turn over the next one.”

I agree.

I just never thought it would happen to me...to read someone in this situation.

And I wonder how common this is, in our tarot world?

Er uh…if you keep reading, it will happen more. The universe loves to send you things you have not prepared for. As for you never thought it would happen to you…you’re in the world of professional Tarot reading!

"I'm thinking about ending it....."

The actual reading ended there. I think I flipped 3 more cards, but there wasn't a Tower, 10 of Swords, Death or anything even close to his words.

...

Whatcha think?

I think you should have finished the reading. Trust the cards.

If Tarot has the answers, why rely on emergency phone numbers? If Tarot does not have the answers, then why are we bothering to even read them?

Trust the cards.

Just my opinion…

And...It will happen again, when you least expect it. Until you decide why you read Tarot... (and that is not an opinion).

 

[Sheri]

Several years ago, the company I worked for told us all that a round of layoffs was coming. Of course, it was near Christmas time.

One of my coworkers, a supervisor, committed suicide over the following weekend. Everyone was stunned because he didn't show signs of depression or give any indication that he was going to do it.

Another one of my coworkers at the time was bipolar and told us all when we were talking about it that Bob (the man who committed suicide) may not have had depression at all but may have been an untreated bipolar. He said that bipolars can get "ideas" and once they decide something, they will act on it. He knew this because he was bipolar as I mentioned, and had to be stopped from shooting his daughter's boyfriend as a solution to stopping her from violating her curfews. Once Bob had decided to kill himself as the "solution" to avoid giving layout notices out to his group, he would be happy and upbeat because he knew what he was going to do.

I would not expect the cards to show or indicate suicide or problems in this case, because the person who killed himself didn't see it that way... and the reading was for him... the perspective was skewed. If I the reader or a family member, asked "is this person in danger" or something to see if they needed help, the cards may in fact show the situation... that he is going to do something... but that is for me or the family and not him.

I as a reader, have no way of knowing whether someone that I have never met, but that sits down for a reading from me, is seriously mentally ill or not... so I don't see how I couldn't read for the person even if they were, but I think the numbers are a good idea because whether someone is ill or not, if I see something horrendous is coming up for them in the reading, they might need some professional help dealing with it... and by giving the numbers out, I am deflecting the responsibility for that help away from "unqualified" me toward more qualified individuals/organizations.

Sheri