Is a 10/pents relationship a boring one?

[kmagdalena09]

I recently started to see an ex of mine again. We've both dated other people but even then, we'd get together for coffee and such. We've been doing this dance for about a year now.

We used to have a spark like I've never felt. Now as the one year mark approaches, I feel it simmering down. We went from spending as much time as we could together to him turning me down tonight and saying he'd rather just be alone tonight. Which is fine I guess...but the sex isn't what it used to be, we're not attached at the hip...we're certainly not doing badly and we have a lot or fun together, but being as passionate as I am, I miss the fireworks...and I'm wondering if this has staying power for me. Call me a game player but I feel like we're at a stage where I have to start making myself less available to him in order to stay interesting and desirable. Say "sorry babe, got other plans" for once.

I pulled a 10 of Pents in the outcome position of my spread for this relationship. I've read past posts and this card seems to mean many different things....1) endings of relationships, 2) relationships based on security, 3) marriage and settling down.

So with so many meanings attached to one card, I'm not getting much clarity out of a reading I was hoping would and would love to hear some opinions.

I should also mention that in the near future I pulled the King of Pents, which I think resonates with him focusing very much on business and less so on his relationships (as he's been depressed that he isn't where he wants to be in terms of money).

Thank you all!

 

[queenxofxwands]

10 of pentacles can also indicate falling into a comfort zone, which can get boring. Its like youve already done it all kind of thing. Stability can get boring after a while, same old same old. Could indicate its become routine. Know what i mean?

 

[RaaD]

10 of pentacles. It was a subject of my daily practice today ( for like 10-th time ). 10 of pentacles is a card where the ending of relationship is the last thing you can name on. Its a card where you are stable staying on a strong fondations. It is the card which shows the wealth you will get after a long time work. The long-time commitment after a long chase. The security of it a the fertility of everything you have done in the past in a long time period of time. Pepare sweetheart he is coming . I wish the very best on both of you

 

[WalesWoman]

10 Pentacles could be the comfort zone, it could also point to a relationship based more on physical than anything else, so once the passion dies down, so does the relationship. I think every relationship goes through the stage where neither can stand to be too long from the other, it is a physical/mental/chemistry that lasts on the average of 6-18 months... no one can take that kind of intensity forever, so like an addiction, you get used to it and/or your brain slows down it's production. It's what happens during that time and after that tests the true bonds that will make or break it.

It's also natural to want to have a little bit of your own life sometimes that isn't always attached to the hip of another...to have your own space. It doesn't necessarily mean that one has lost interest in the other, it just means you are a person with a life of your own. 10 Pentacles could be enriching your life with the things you have worked for and acquired or inherited, like talents or family traditions, etc.

If what you feel is really love, why would you need to play games or pretend to be busy in order to be less available & more desirable?

 

[ThunderWolf]

The 10 of Pentacles can indicate a stable, mature relationship based more upon love than chemistry.

Chemistry at the beginning of a relationship is always fun, but as a relationship develops the fireworks are usually either so intense to begin with that they burn themselves out or something more substantial and stable develops. If you really love this guy, you may just need to face that this is the evolution of a more mature type of relationship than what you're used to.

On the other hand, if that type of relationship is boring to you it might mean that you're just not ready for a mature relationship and have some oats to sow before settling into something based more on love than upon initial chemistry.

 

[PAMUYA]

The 10 of Pentacles can indicate a stable, mature relationship based more upon love than chemistry.

Chemistry at the beginning of a relationship is always fun, but as a relationship develops the fireworks are usually either so intense to begin with that they burn themselves out or something more substantial and stable develops. If you really love this guy, you may just need to face that this is the evolution of a more mature type of relationship than what you're used to.

On the other hand, if that type of relationship is boring to you it might mean that you're just not ready for a mature relationship and have some oats to sow before settling into something based more on love than upon initial chemistry.

I like this! 10 of Pentacles is what marriage/relationship is once the fog of chemistry/passion has lifted. It is everyday life, with it's bills/kids/family, the good, bad, and the ugly. But it is your life, it is the life's lessons, the wisdom that you gain. It is not happily ever after. Boring, heck yes, but life is not all roses and white dresses, there are poopy diapers to change, money to save, and growing old together with all the good and not so good memories.

 

[Grizabella]

I like this! 10 of Pentacles is what marriage/relationship is once the fog of chemistry/passion has lifted. It is everyday life, with it's bills/kids/family, the good, bad, and the ugly. But it is your life, it is the life's lessons, the wisdom that you gain. It is not happily ever after. Boring, heck yes, but life is not all roses and white dresses, there are poopy diapers to change, money to save, and growing old together with all the good and not so good memories.

I agree. When I was young, I thought when the flames died to a smoldering pile of coals in a relationship, that something was wrong and it was headed for the wrecking yard. When I matured, I realized that's just when the good stuff sets in. I learned sex isn't everything and I didn't have to be the center of attention all the time to prove to myself that he loved me. I learned that the times when we could just be quietly together, each of us doing something different and saying not a word, were what it was all about. That's the 10 of Pentacles and that's well worth growing toward.

 

[Thirteen]

Ask the cards

being as passionate as I am, I miss the fireworks...and I'm wondering if this has staying power for me. Call me a game player but I feel like we're at a stage where I have to start making myself less available to him in order to stay interesting and desirable. Say "sorry babe, got other plans" for once.

Of course, that could backfire if he takes you at your word and decides to look elsewhere himself. Why don't you ask *the cards* how to infuse some passion back into the relationship? Pull out the 10/Pents as the signifying card, shuffle well and lay out a spread around that 10/Pents--because really, what you want (I assume), is to maintain that very solid, reliably abundant 10/Pents as the heart and center of the relationship rather than erase it or exchange it for the volatile, unpredictable, and not at all long-lasting fireworks.

If that's your aim, then you should ask the cards how to regain the passion--what you can do to re-light that mutual spark between you--without losing the stability.

 

[kmagdalena09]

I really appreciate all your guys' feedback, but 10 of Pents in this case ended up representing something completely irrelevant to me. And given this is a learning forum, I hope you can all enlighten.

My worst fear about this relationship was that it would go on forever and be boring. Then last night, out of NOWHERE, we had a giant fight and broke it off, already. Lots of hurtful things were said. Waterworks, etc. Right when everything seemed stable and fine. Maybe on the boring side, but fine.

When I was alone and basically pulled a "what the f-" spread asking for guidance, in the present position, I pulled the 10 of Pents. The outcome card in the last spread. In the midst of that painful, terrible situation, the last thing I would have expected was the 10 of Pents.

I have read some of you saying that the 10s can represent endings because of the numerology, but it only makes sense to me with the 10 of Swords. There is NOTHING pictured within the 10 of Pents that says "terrible, abrupt, painful, out of nowhere break-up." It's an ending, perhaps, but if an ending of anything, and end of the chase. Accomplishment. Settling down. This was anything but settling.

I don't get it. It seems like we can find the meaning of anything in any card, in which case tarot is useless.

 

[rwcarter]

The 10P as outcome of the first reading suggests a stable relationship that likely produces kids (although not necessarily human ones) and a physical legacy (money, business, etc.) that can be passed down through the generations. Some people find stability boring, some don't.

I wasn't there so can't speak to the "out of NOWHERE" fight, but the 10P as the present position of the second reading suggests that the kind of relationship represented by the card was an issue for you. So the situation resolved itself by the two of you parting.

I don't see the 10P from the first reading representing the two of you breaking up though. I don't use tarot for predictive readings, and I believe that whatever is shown in a reading can be changed if the Querent doesn't like that. You say, "My worst fear about this relationship was that it would go on forever and be boring." So, consciously or not, is it possible that you broached that topic with him, which is what led into the fight? If that's the case it wasn't out of nowhere then. And in keeping with what I said above about the Querent being able to change an outcome they don't like, is it also possible that the argument became the vehicle for getting you out of a 10P relationship that you found boring? (Those are rhetorical questions that you only need answer to yourself.)

HTH,
Rodney