Hello Baroli! Here is your reading. I used the Vertical Oracle.
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*2**3**4*
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1) What you are hoping for -- Total Commitment (This card actually fell out of the deck while shuffling, so I went with it.)
2) Roadblocks to be overcome -- Fragile
3) Where you can find your courage -- Adventure
4) Advice for fighting for it -- Vertical
5) What awaits you if you follow through -- Shelter
Hmmm...it strikes me that you might be a little listless right now. Overdrawn, perhaps, and invested in so many practical projects that you really can't give much attention to any one of them. You hope and yearn for Total Commitment to something, something that will inflame your zest for life--and probably something less tangible that what you are (pre)occupied with now. I say this because of the advice card, Vertical. In this oracle, "the vertical" refers to one's personal beliefs and spirituality, as opposed to "the horizontal," or the shared, mundane reality we all inhabit. This says to me that you need to concentrate on the invisible, mystical aspects of your life a bit more. As such, the commitment in question may be a fundamentally emotional one directed at another person. Or perhaps it is to yourself. I'm not sure. Whatever it is, it is a commitment to something like love, philosophy or religion, something ethereal that animates us as human beings. And it is absolutely, undeniably singular.
What stops you from achieving this type of investment is a fear of being broken in the process (Fragile). You may be a very receptive person, sensitive even, and opening yourself up to this level of dedication may be more than you can handle at this moment. For example, if this is a new spiritual path, you may feel that you would be overwhelmed by dogma. If this is an emotional investment, you may fear the other person hurting you (as others have?). You feel you cannot bear the weight of this Total Commitment. However, you can change this perception and realize the tremendous inner strength you have by going out and doing things you never thought possible (Adventure). Investigate, explore, take risks, be messy...all of these are ways that you can generate--or uncover--the courage you need to totally commit yourself to this thing.
If you do indeed go Adventuring and dispel these notions of your frailty, then this newfound ability to commit to something completely will lead to a greater sense of overall well-being (Shelter). In Total Commitment we open ourselves up to all sorts of possible harm, but in return we can also receive unparalleled feelings of protection and support. I believe that undergoing this process will result in a unique feeling of serenity. Again, if this is a spiritual matter, it suggests to me that you will develop a powerful bedrock of new understandings. If this is an emotional situation with another person, surrender completely--it will be worth it.
I hope this makes sense. I look forward to your reading. Thank you for letting me read for you!