Personal Values and Your Tarot Readings

[Satori]

So the cards fall and the sitter is seeking answers and you sit hunched over the spread or the card or the bones waiting for the voice of the Universe to fill you up with some hint of Delphic knowledge that will satisfy the querent.

And then the niggle hits the back of your brain.
It isn't the Voice. It is your own set of values-subconcious-mores-social conditioning, edging closer to the table to see what all the hullabaloo is about.

And you know what I mean right?
Because there was the time that girl asked about abortion.
Or the time the guy was cheating on every woman he ever dated....including the one you just read for before him.
Or the guy who sat down for a while with you because his girlfriend was off at the health faire getting her feet done and you saw him immersed in drugs and legal stuff...and he was ambivalent and agreeable and nice...and a pusher.
Or the woman who is always in victim mode...
Or the guy who is terrified of living out of the closet....

The story is in the cards.
Sometimes advice is in the cards.
And we as professionals impartially, non-judgementally dole out what we see.

And sometimes your own story is screaming inside of you to add it's own two cents worth.

But that isn't what we get paid to do.
We ain't Dear Abby.

What do you do when the pressure builds and the person across from you is a little too human, and perhaps, dare I say, a bit of a cad or a bitch or just plain f___ed up.

What do you do?

 

[lark]

And sometimes your own story is screaming inside of you to add it's own two cents worth.

I give my two cents.
I think my beliefs, experiences, values, subconcious-mores-social conditioning ect. are also part of who I am as a reader.
And I have come to believe that if a person is drawn to my table it might possibly be because they need to hear my slant on things.
And it seems to always come out in the cards anyway.
And lordy elf, have I been thinking a lot about this lately, due to a very strange reading experience I had last week.

What do you do when the pressure builds and the person across from you is a little too human, and perhaps, dare I say, a bit of a cad or a bitch or just plain f___ed up.

What do you do?

1) Call on all the angels, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and every spirit guide available to surround me with a white light of protection!
2) Just look down and read and tell the other voices in my head to SHUT UP!
3) Pawn them off on another tarot reader.
4) Excuse myself to go to the bathroom and never come back untill they've grown tired of waiting for me and left.
5) Cry.
6) Make them cry.
**Use one or all of the above.

I'm mostly teasing..
Or am I?
Well I'll be very interested to hear what others have to say about this.
A tricky question with no set answer I'll wager.
But something we are all going to bump our heads against at one time or another.
Great question elf!

 

[tarotbear]

People who are against abortion don't take jobs working in Family Planning clinics.

People who hate women do not take jobs at women's crisis centers.

People who don't like gays don't take jobs working at gay bath houses.

People against pre-marital sex rarely are seen passing out condoms to high school students.


You cannot escape your background, early childhood experiences, the neighborhood and social culture you grew up in, or your own self-hatred. You can learn to ignore them, work around them, or work through them.

But the one thing you have to learn is that what worked or didn't work for you may work or not work for someone else.

So, you're doing a reading and 'understand' that you are reading for the most disgusting, vile, and possibly immoral person you have ever met. They are the total opposite of you in every way. How do you restrain yourself from pulling out your handy .22 Magnum and blowing them away, thus preserving the world as a better place for a future generation?

You don't. You can't.

All you might say is: "I can see your involvement in unsavory practices that ultimately bring disaster to the lives of many people. You are unaffected by the problems that this involvement causes in their lives." Then you tell them what you see in their future. Then you ask them not to return to you.

If you are unprepared to deal with stuff you'd rather not face - then you have no business doing readings for the public.

 

[Grizabella]

You have to have professional detachment if you're going to read for the public. When you read cards for someone else, what they've done or will do isn't really yours to make personal judgments about except as those things would apply in your own life. If you don't believe in abortion, don't have one. If you don't believe in infidelity, don't be unfaithful.

Everyone has secrets and it's not our business to reveal those secrets and make judgments on them. However, if we take an honest inventory of our own secrets and make peace with them, we aren't going to feel such a screaming need to judge someone else and we can instead read compassionately for them, knowing that everyone travelling this earthly path is just doing the best they can like we are.

I'm editing this to add that this is just what I've learned, Elf, not insinuating you have deep, dark secrets you haven't dealt with.

 

[zorya]

i can only echo what lyric has written so beautifully.

i try to detach from my own beliefs and emotions, and read without judgement and with compassion.

each mistake i have made in my life reminds me that we all are flawed and are here to learn. i have found myself making choices and doing things, i swore i would never ever make or do. we make our choices from different places and experiences.

over time i have changed, and in doing so i've learned that my opinions and beliefs have not really been set in stone. nor are they right for all.

non-judgement and compassion.

i am only the messenger.

 

[Netzach]

I think my beliefs, experiences, values, subconcious-mores-social conditioning ect. are also part of who I am as a reader.
And I have come to believe that if a person is drawn to my table it might possibly be because they need to hear my slant on things.

I agree entirely. However, I believe that one must treat every client with compassion no matter what they have done or what they are. Something has brought them to consult you . . . who knows what influence you may have on them? Zen is full of stories of people who became enlightened as a result of a single word or a single action. I'm not suggesting that these people will become enlightened but perhaps something that one may say - if offered in a compassionate way - will give them some insight and lead them to changing their lives for the better. We are not here to judge . . . but we are here to help.

 

[lark]

I agree entirely. However, I believe that one must treat every client with compassion no matter what they have done or what they are. Something has brought them to consult you . . . who knows what influence you may have on them? Zen is full of stories of people who became enlightened as a result of a single word or a single action. I'm not suggesting that these people will become enlightened but perhaps something that one may say - if offered in a compassionate way - will give them some insight and lead them to changing their lives for the better. We are not here to judge . . . but we are here to help.

I always try to be compassionate and non-judgemental...those are very essential in being a reader, also diplomacy is a big one.
And I think diplomacy has gotten me out of many tight spots.

Here's one I was faced with last week...phone reading...big important business man....
He wants me to lay out cards for a number of employees and tell him which ones to fire based on what I see.
I have a problem with this.
1) I recognise he is trying to shift the responsibility for his actions from himself to me. Cowardly in my opinion.
2) I and my spouse have been layed off..we have lived on food stamps and stood in line at the local church for a free block of cheese and a bag of rice and beans.
3) I know what it's like to think everything is OK and then have your man walk in the door and say he's layed off again....and see him break down and cry because he feels like a loser who can't take care of his family.

I know all of these things because I've lived them...how do I keep them out of this reading?

Diplomacy...keep my cool.....and look at the question from a different angle.

My Question to him: What are you hoping to "help or do" by laying off these employees?
Answer: Free up money because the business isn't doing so well.
OK now we've got something to work with.....
Question for the Tarot: What can you do to help turn business around?

So we're off on a different path in the reading and I did NOT lay out cards for him to decide who to get rid of.
I concentrated on different areas he might improve in the business.
When he asked me about the employees again I told him that he would have to use his own knowledge and intuition in the matter.

And that's how I handled it.
Now some might judge me as being wrong in this.
A bad reader perhaps...not worthy really of being a reader.
I didn't give the client what he wanted due to my own hang ups in the matter.
But this is real life, the nitty gritty, and I have to live with myself in the cold light of morning.
I simply could not stand it of I thought my reading had sent X number of workers to the unemployment lines.
So my answer is elf, I use diplomacy and sometimes the wiles of a fox ...and stay true to my convictions and beliefs, and the basic narture of who I am.
Warts and all.

 

[poivre]

When I get stuck or the person on the other side of the table
is yuck, I start saying things like
~ these are the cards that YOU have chosen
~ this is what I understand about this card YOU have chosen
~ everyone has their own way of reading and this is how I
read the cards that YOU have chosen
~ this is a message YOU must need because YOU have this card
~ YOU look at the picture and tell me what YOU see
~ I may be wrong but this is my understanding from what I have studied
~ everyone interprets differently, so YOU may go to someone else
pick the same cards and they tell you something else and that's O.K.
but this is my story & it will get you started on opening your mind
to a different way to look at your situation
~ and so on


At one time I was so nervous about people who would question me,
not no more. I have spent how many hours studying and reading?????
and they have spent how long???? "put value on the
things you value" I value the education I have taught myself
by taking the "time" to learn. If others come to me for a reading,
they are paying for my interpretation of the information that I
have taken the TIME to learn.

When people appreciate your time, they also are appreciated!!!

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 

[Sienna]

Personal Values - its a tough one!

Last week I was doing a reading for a woman (on the telephone hotline). She was crying alot... and kept saying she "could not live with out love" and she couldn't carry on. In fact she got almost got hysterical at some point and I could hear a child crying in the background. Well I begged her to ring a counsellor but she kept refusing. She wanted to know if she was going to find love anytime soon, well I did the spread, and the answer was most definately No! loads of swords cards. Well I didn't know what to say, I tried talking to her about all her good points, and asked about her child.... well I basically lied to her.. I told her I thought she would meet someone in the next 6 months... She finished in a better state, but she still wouldn't agree to counselling, I told her to write on post it notes and put them on the mirror in the bathroom, that she was a great person and deserved love etc etc. I also told her to read the book "Women who Love too much".

But basically I did wrong, I lied... I rang the call centre, and they said they don't keep telephone numbers of their clients.. and not to worry, I had probably helped her.

But I lied to her.... However, whilst I went against everything I believed in, I think I did the right thing, bearing in mind her current mental state. It was a very difficult reading, as to begin with she sounded okay, but as the reading got on, she started crying...

I still think I did the right thing...even though I was wrong....

I think I am going to need some counselling after I finish working for this hotline (ruefull smile).

Sienna

 

[poivre]

p.s.

And I try to be a very positive reader!