Reading Reluctance

Shadowling

So I have been on a major tarot study kick lately, and yet when it comes to actually doing a reading (whether its for me, another, or as practice) I hit a wall. Im loving what I'm learning and do have somethings going on that id like to work on with my tarot , but its like theres a big nope feeling when I go to pick up my cards.

My question is...

a.) What another's take on this situation might be

b.) How to get past the wall feeling

c.) how others might/have dealt with these situations in their own tarot journeys.
 

madhatter00o

Heh. I'm right there at the wall with you. Studying and learning is great and I *do* want to pick up my cards to try myself, but actually doing it is another matter.

However, I try not to beat myself up over it because 1) studying is an important part of growth, 2) I can collect a lot of ideas and then see them from a broader perspective when I'm ready, and 3) sometimes life (and things) just get in the way.

1) I like to think of this kind of study as the Hermit, who studies, organizes, and researches information *for himself.* He's not so much an active practioner of the knowledge he finds, but rather he restlessly seeks it and organizes it in preparation for use one day when he steps out into the sun. For now, in the darkness, he shines his light to uncover that which cannot be seen by day.

Likewise, we who are "stuck" in study-mode are not so much unwilling to practice, but rather (at least I personally) feel that we are not yet satisfied with what we've found; we want more. Insofar as we are still collecting and organizing information for later use, I don't think this time of exploration sans practice is a bad thing. Go at your own pace and emerge (break through the wall) when you're ready.

2) I don't know about you, but I'm the sort of person that wants the fullest picture I can have before comfortably starting something. With a system as complex as the Tarot, knowing "everything" is impossible and even knowing one part, like the numerology, decently well takes years of study. Still, before I want to read for others, I want to have a certain amount of confidence in the cards I'm reading. Basic meanings and connecting the cards together in a narrative thus becomes the little goal I've set for myself before I begin reading for others. (For now, I'll stick to Daily Draws, simple 3-Card spreads, and some readings for myself should I have a question.)

Playing off the "collection and organization" theme I mentioned in (1), having a well-rounded grasp of the information is incredibly handy, even if your current understanding is relatively "shallow." The Tarot isn't about individual cards, remember, but rather seeing them together to get a broad-reaching understanding of a specific area. Having spent the time really studying the cards will have given you the wisdom to use all the information you have judiciously, meaning you recognize when something means one thing rather than something else. You might see that the allocation and placement of Suits, Numbers, Major Arcana, Astrological Signs, etc. in the spread point strongly to a particular interpretation, or maybe they're hinting at an undercurrent.

Regardless, spending time at the wall accumulating information will give you more to draw from when you finally do climb over it.

3) Finally, life just gets in the way sometimes. As a full-time grad student, I have school, work, and a (frankly pathetic) social life. There are only 24 hours in a day, and Tarot isn't at the top of my priority list.

Also, as I work on on my reports, books, drafts, and other papers get scattered everywhere. Dishes pile up in the sink and on my table (at least until I get too disgusted with myself and wash them). Stuff literally gets in the way of laying out my Tarot cloth and spreading out some cards.

If this happens to you, as well, take a half day or even a full day to really clean. Put away the things you've left out; wash and put away the dishes; give the table a decent cleaning. It'll clear both the space and your mind. Plus, then there's no excuse not to break out your deck. ^_^

Anyways, I'm sorry for such a long response, but as I feel like we're in the same position, I wanted to offer a different perspective.
 

Citrin

Hmm it might be good to figure out what it is that stops you? I’ve had similar episodes before, and I’ve found a lot of different reasons… One thing was that I felt pressured to deliver a really fantastic reading, even if I was just reading for myself. I was afraid of going blank not being able to finish the reading. Another problem was that for a while I pressured myself to journal a lot despite not feeling like it, so the reading just turned into a chore. And sometimes I’m just tired or lazy and despite wanting/needing a reading I just go watch some TV and eat candy instead. :p So yeah, maybe it’s helpful if you find the root of the problem.

I got past my wall mainly by reading for others online. When I had promised someone, or a couple of people, a reading, I had to force myself to do it so finally it got done. At first it felt weird “forcing” myself to read the cards when I didn’t fully feel like it, but after a while I noticed that I quickly got in the zone and the readings turned out well, so I could let go of pressuring myself and such. I’ve also noticed that the more I use my cards, daily nowadays, the more natural it feels to pick them up and do readings.
 

Grizabella

So I have been on a major tarot study kick lately, and yet when it comes to actually doing a reading (whether its for me, another, or as practice) I hit a wall. Im loving what I'm learning and do have somethings going on that id like to work on with my tarot , but its like theres a big nope feeling when I go to pick up my cards.

My question is...

a.) What another's take on this situation might be

b.) How to get past the wall feeling

c.) how others might/have dealt with these situations in their own tarot journeys.

Oh my gosh! When I was first studying the cards, the feeling I got was just like standing on the high diving board getting ready to jump----and I didn't know how to swim! Breaking myself of feeling like I had to use the book all the time was really hard. It was all in my head, though. As I look back on it, it was like my lack of confidence made me just completely freeze and every single thing I'd learned was gone from my memory on the spot!

The way to push past it is just to take baby steps. And don't limit yourself to just book meanings. Relax into it and look at the cards in front of you. Take as long as you like because there's no deadline. Look at colors, the way characters in the cards face, which suit has the most cards represented, and things like that. Look for repeating numbers or the lack of them and take into consideration that sometimes what isn't there helps you tell the story. Reflect, too, on what might be the predominant feeling the cards give, either through colors or numbers or suits---there should be some pattern there.

By relaxing and not freezing up, you'll start to see things much more easily than you think. And while you're pondering the spread and considering all these things, begin looking for combinations of cards. Or cards that seem opposed to each other in some way. If you can't keep your hands off the book, go lock it in the car. :p Only by just putting the book away and doing all the calm reflection on spreads can you wean off the book. You can read the book all you want when you're just studying or want more information between readings, but don't allow yourself to reach for it during a spread.
 

queenxofxwands

a..stagefright.. which in essence is worrying too much about how it will appear to others, mayhaps you have a bit of a perfectionist streak ? :D Let me assure you, you are not alone, I still remember the first one I did, for myself and for someone else. I kept the lwb with me the whole time. Also, I wish this place had've been around when I started, as it is the perfect place to do your first in many ways. Everyone is very encouraging and supportive, and genuinely want to help others learn. Perhaps posting in the "your readings" section with a small 1 to 3 card spread and a simple question, as a way to start?

b..feel the fear and do it anyway!.. that was actually the only way I could do it.

Just re-read your post, and it doesn't mention you've never done any, just that you have hit a wall now, so I'm not sure how relevant this will end up being, but "b" usually works anyway.
 

Shadowling

I'm new to quoting so this post might go horribly wrong lol.

1) I like to think of this kind of study as the Hermit, who studies, organizes, and researches information *for himself.* He's not so much an active practioner of the knowledge he finds, but rather he restlessly seeks it and organizes it in preparation for use one day when he steps out into the sun. For now, in the darkness, he shines his light to uncover that which cannot be seen by day.

I do have hermit like qualities, so this was a very helpful insight. As some one who uses meditation I could defiantly use this idea even without using cards.

, we who are "stuck" in study-mode are not so much unwilling to practice, but rather (at least I personally) feel that we are not yet satisfied with what we've found; we want more.

Guilty of this as well, and not just with tarot.

, before I want to read for others, I want to have a certain amount of confidence in the cards I'm reading.


Tarot isn't about individual cards, remember, but rather seeing them together to get a broad-reaching understanding of a specific area. Having spent the time really studying the cards will have given you the wisdom to use all the information you have judiciously, meaning you recognize when something means one thing rather than something else. You might see that the allocation and placement of Suits, Numbers, Major Arcana, Astrological Signs, etc. in the spread point strongly to a particular interpretation, or maybe they're hinting at an undercurrent.

This is the part thats frustrating me so much. feel like I'm FINALY having it click to a point its not such a scary thing. iv done practice readings in the past with less knowledge and had it go fine. so to have this block now is like GRRR!


, I'm sorry for such a long response, but as I feel like we're in the same position, I wanted to offer a different perspective.

totally gotcha. thanks for having the time to post i appreciate your feedback its given me things to think about.
 

Shadowling

Hmm it might be good to figure out what it is that stops you? I’ve had similar episodes before, and I’ve found a lot of different reasons… One thing was that I felt pressured to deliver a really fantastic reading, even if I was just reading for myself. I was afraid of going blank not being able to finish the reading.

I can relate to this, as I have been put into situations where iv been put on the spot to do readings (not just cards) and it irks me. I feel like a preforming monkey. I'm not sure stage fright is the right word but I do get nervous, its not the middle that wiggs me its the beginning and end lol.

problem was that for a while I pressured myself to journal a lot despite not feeling like it, so the reading just turned into a chore.

iv been trying to find a way to make this as painless a process as possible. I have a journal that I use but It,s not as efficient, I'm trying to do more note taking on my computer so its easier but haven't found my flow with it yet.

got past my wall mainly by reading for others online. When I had promised someone, or a couple of people, a reading, I had to force myself to do it so finally it got done. At first it felt weird “forcing” myself to read the cards when I didn’t fully feel like it, but after a while I noticed that I quickly got in the zone and the readings turned out well, so I could let go of pressuring myself and such. I’ve also noticed that the more I use my cards, daily nowadays, the more natural it feels to pick them up and do readings.

It dose feel weird forcing the issue but maybe I should just suck it up and do so. Its almost like being in a state of who, what , huh, before I read but not during. like you mentioned its the mid read zone that takes over the initial hurdle. now i just need to find my post reading
" Dear god what did I just do!" solution
 

Shadowling

Oh my gosh! When I was first studying the cards, the feeling I got was just like standing on the high diving board getting ready to jump----and I didn't know how to swim! Breaking myself of feeling like I had to use the book all the time was really hard. It was all in my head, though. As I look back on it, it was like my lack of confidence made me just completely freeze and every single thing I'd learned was gone from my memory on the spot!

Ahhh Yes the pacifier tarot book faze, I know it well. especially hard for the book junkie in me. alas one must put aside such prized possessions and take charge of the situation. If for no other reason than to stop buying books. OMG I just got a crazy visual of sitting on the floor listening to " Eye Of The Tiger"while using my deck! So should do this. don't know if it will help to relax but funny.
 

Shadowling

a..stagefright.. which in essence is worrying too much about how it will appear to others, mayhaps you have a bit of a perfectionist streak ?

Guilty as charged on the perfectionist streak. I find it ridicules since Im never going to be able to know EVERYTHING there is to know.

Everyone is very encouraging and supportive, and genuinely want to help others learn. Perhaps posting in the "your readings" section with a small 1 to 3 card spread and a simple question, as a way to start?

I am grateful that this community exists, and I agree it's nice to have the encouragement as well as individuals who are willing to call you on you stuff ;)

Just re-read your post, and it doesn't mention you've never done any, just that you have hit a wall now, so I'm not sure how relevant this will end up being, but "b" usually works anyway.
I have done readings, Its just been awhile. Time to get back up on that horse :D
 

Apollonia

One suggestion that worked well for me was to have a little ritual that said, "Okay, we're in reading mode now, here we go!"

For me, it was making a cup of tea, sitting at my desk, and going through a brief centering routine--and then (most important) not getting up from my desk until the reading was done. For someone else it was sitting in a certain chair, grabbing a piece of gum, and trading her usual eyeglasses for her "work" glasses.

It doesn't have to be elaborate, it just needs to be something you do each time that somehow puts a frame around the time to read. The more I did this, the easier it was for me to quickly and reliably snap into reading mode.