I did the visualization and just saw us all standing there surrounding the card. We were all smiling and focused on each other and the Undressing of a Salad. I did see a beam of light connecting each of us to the other through the center of the circle and another one connecting us around the circle. Another interesting thing was my mind wanted us to be holding hands around the circle but something told me we didn't need that. We were already connected!
Here's the questions......
* What fear is in your way?
My biggest fear is of being let down.....by people, by circumstances, etc. But then at the same time it's a fear of not living life to the fullest, not accomplishing things I want to, and things I "should" do. So really these two fears fight with each other. I dont' want to put myself in a situation where I can be let down but at the same time I don't want to miss anything.
* Are you making your life busy so that at the end of the day you did not fulfill the things you want most to do?
I have been doing this in the near past, but not now. When I went through my personal troubles just recently this was what I had been doing. I was so busy that I wasn't even getting enough sleep. I was exhausted so in turn, was very irritable and emotional. I hadn't been doing anythign for myself in almost a year!! But no more!! I'm most definitely taking time for myself - going to a wonderful yoga class, chiropractic care, massages for me, not just others. (I'm a massage therapist) I'm feeling much better now!
* What do you do to distract yourself?
To distract myself from what? From life in general?? I read. I've always loved reading. You can go to any world you want just by picking up and reading a book or story. If I feel overwhelmed I can pick up a book and my whole body just lets go. I can forget what's going on in my life and live someone elses.
* What do you do to diminish yourself?
I always want to do things "right". This is something I've been working on for many years. If something happened I wasn't happy with I'd tell myself I was at fault. That I hadn't done what needed to be done. I've realized though that way of thinking is very egotistical. I mean how important am I??
If someone was having I bad day I wondered what I had done to cause it. I never used to think well maybe someone cut them off on the drive over, or someone else yelled at them this morning, etc. It was always my fault! (giggle) I still have to work at this but am much better than I was in the past. Over all I think I"m a pretty cool woman.
I dont' put myself down very often. That doesn't mean I'm always happy with what is going on, but I rarely put myself down anymore.
* What happens when you set goals on specific dates/times?
They rarely happen. I actually don't like to set specific goals. I set more general ones then see where it leads me. In the past when I've set a specific goal it seems to narrow down my focus to a point where I don't see other avenues that open to me that might be better for me. Now there are some smaller goals that I will follow but not fall apart if they don't happen. Like I knew I wanted to do my work here today but if something else happened where I couldn't I wouldn't have stressed over it.
* What past events are making you cringe or shy away?
What I'm concentrating on right now is a relationship. I have not had too many good relationships in the past and my last one was pretty hard on me. I haven't allowed myself to get in a true serious relationship since then - and that was about 8 years ago!!! I have dated but not even that too much. Now though I'm ready to get past this shying away and go forward.
* What criticism do you take to heart from yourself or others?
I don't like to hear someone tell me I don't care. I usually care too much so sometimes do have to protect myself to the point where it does look like I don't care. I have to work constantly on not allowing myself to feel things others do that I take it pretty hard when someone tells me "You don't care how I feel." I feel how you feel - so how can I not care how you feel!? I have gotten better at closing some of that down so it's not as bad as it used to be, but I always get some of it.