Frequency
5 Card Spread:
-1st, Center: Should I escape this environment? I can do that by fighting for my right in court, regardless of my age, and become a legal adult.
Note: I've asked if this is a possibility, and I have heard a resounding 'Yes but don't bother because we want to protect your mother's guilty feelings by making you stay here. That's our job, to protect the parents. We don't give a crap about the actual child. So no... Nope. Definately not. Not in our best interests.'
I can do it. It's been done. Although... meh... They don't think it's a good idea. It's not exactly easy... But I'm getting desperate.
Creativity
Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity that you are doing. It is an attitude, an inner approach - how you look at things....
Not everybody can be a painter - and there is no need also. If everybody is a painter the world will be very ugly; it will be difficult to live! And not everybody can be a dancer, and there is no need. But everybody can be creative.
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative.
All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!
Osho A Sudden Clash of Thunder Chapter 4
Immediate interpretation:
Follow your instincts. In short: "Go for it"
2nd, Left: What gives me the inner desire to leave?
Possibilites
Mind can accept any boundary anywhere. But the reality is that, by its very nature, existence cannot have any boundary, because what will be beyond the boundary? - again another sky.
That's why I am saying skies upon skies are available for your flight. Don't be content easily. Those who remain content easily remain small: small are their joys, small are their ecstasies, small are their silences, small is their being. But there is no need! This smallness is your own imposition upon your freedom, upon your unlimited possibilities, upon your unlimited potential.
Osho Live Zen Chapter 2
Immediate interpretation:
Don't allow myself to feel comfortable in a poor environment. Always look to bigger and better things.
3rd, Right: What is obvious to me is that my house is a wreck, and there is more and more evidence of that. My kitchen was just leaking water from the ceiling after I took a shower. I can't even shower now until that part of the ceiling is destroyed, inspected, and the pipes (I'm assuming) repaired. I tried helping my mother with the problem -- I tried to explain to her that I can't just stop using the shower, and we must get it fixed ASAP because there is no shower for me to use now. She doesn't see it as a priority. To me, this is the last straw. I cannot live like this. Nobody can life like this.
Adventure
Zen says truth has nothing to do with authority, truth has nothing to do with tradition, truth has nothing to do with the past - truth is a radical, personal realization. You have to come to it.
Knowledge is certain; the search for personal knowing is very, very hazardous. Nobody can guarantee it. If you ask me if I can guarantee anything, I say I cannot guarantee you anything. I can only guarantee danger, that much is certain. I can only guarantee you a long adventure with every possibility of going astray and never reaching the goal. But one thing is certain: the very search will help you to grow.
I can guarantee only growth. Danger will be there, sacrifice will be there; you will be moving every day into the unknown, into the uncharted, and there will be no map to follow, no guide to follow. Yes, there are millions of dangers and you can go astray and you can get lost, but that is the only way one grows.
Insecurity is the only way to grow, to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow.
Osho Dang Dang Doko Dang Chapter 7
Immediate Interpretation:
Once again, we have a 'get the **** out' card. It's not going to be easy, there's going to be challenges, but I have to pack my bags and venture into the unknown. Do I like it? No. I would rather stay within the confines of my relative happiness. I would rather have this slight stability than go to court. I can't kid myself, I have to do this. I don't like, but I have to.
4th, Bottom: What is the method to solve the problem?
Moment to Moment
The past is no more and the future is not yet: both are unnecessarily moving in directions which don't exist. One used to exist, but no longer exists, and one has not even started to exist. The only right person is one who lives moment to moment, whose arrow is directed to the moment, who is always here and now; wherever he is, his whole consciousness, his whole being, is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now. That's the only right direction. Only such a man can enter into the golden gate. The present is the golden gate. Here-now is the golden gate. ...And you can be in the present only if you are not ambitious--no accomplishment, no desire to achieve power, money, prestige, even enlightenment, because all ambition leads you into the future. Only a non-ambitious man can remain in the present. A man who wants to be in the present has not to think, has just to see and enter the gate. Experience will come, but experience has not to be premeditated.
Osho The Great Zen Master Ta Hui Chapter 37
Immediate Interpretation:
I will frankly disagree. My ambition is what drives me. I see his point though; I have to focus on what is troubling me right now. I must do one thing at a time. That is the process I must use to attain my little victories -- to attain the big one.
5th, Top: The Understanding of the whole
Ice-olation
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. What does it mean when I say we are too much in the self? And what exactly happens when we are too much in the self? Either you can be in existence or you can be in the self--both are not possible together. To be in the self means to be apart, to be separate. To be in the self means to become an island. To be in the self means to draw a boundary line around you. To be in the self means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'. The definition, the boundary, between "I" and "not I" is what the self is--the self isolates. And it makes you frozen--you are no longer flowing. If you are flowing the self cannot exist. Hence people have become almost like ice-cubes. They don't have any warmth, they don't have any love--love is warmth and they are afraid of love. If warmth comes to them they will start melting and the boundaries will disappear. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
Osho Zen: The Path of Paradox, Volume 1 Chapter 5
Commentary:
In our society, men in particular have been taught not to cry, to put a brave face on things when they get hurt and not show that they are in pain. But women can fall into this trap too, and all of us at one time or another might feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves. This can make us frozen, rigid, because deep down we know that one small break in the ice will free the hurt to start circulating through us again. The rainbow-colored tears on this person's face hold the key to breaking out of this 'ice-olation'. The tears, and only the tears, have the power to melt the ice. It's okay to cry, and there is no reason to feel ashamed of your tears. Crying helps us to let go of pain, allows us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.
I understand the commentary, but I think that's the worst Zen explanation ever. I think what it's trying to say is don't stop yourself from feeling sad about this issue. Don't 'Take it like a man'. If I do I'm going to hurt myself more. Open up. Allow myself to collapse into sorrow and despair because it's natural and healthy.
What do you think? Do you think I got this down on the button?
-1st, Center: Should I escape this environment? I can do that by fighting for my right in court, regardless of my age, and become a legal adult.
Note: I've asked if this is a possibility, and I have heard a resounding 'Yes but don't bother because we want to protect your mother's guilty feelings by making you stay here. That's our job, to protect the parents. We don't give a crap about the actual child. So no... Nope. Definately not. Not in our best interests.'
I can do it. It's been done. Although... meh... They don't think it's a good idea. It's not exactly easy... But I'm getting desperate.
Creativity
Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity that you are doing. It is an attitude, an inner approach - how you look at things....
Not everybody can be a painter - and there is no need also. If everybody is a painter the world will be very ugly; it will be difficult to live! And not everybody can be a dancer, and there is no need. But everybody can be creative.
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative.
All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!
Osho A Sudden Clash of Thunder Chapter 4
Immediate interpretation:
Follow your instincts. In short: "Go for it"
2nd, Left: What gives me the inner desire to leave?
Possibilites
Mind can accept any boundary anywhere. But the reality is that, by its very nature, existence cannot have any boundary, because what will be beyond the boundary? - again another sky.
That's why I am saying skies upon skies are available for your flight. Don't be content easily. Those who remain content easily remain small: small are their joys, small are their ecstasies, small are their silences, small is their being. But there is no need! This smallness is your own imposition upon your freedom, upon your unlimited possibilities, upon your unlimited potential.
Osho Live Zen Chapter 2
Immediate interpretation:
Don't allow myself to feel comfortable in a poor environment. Always look to bigger and better things.
3rd, Right: What is obvious to me is that my house is a wreck, and there is more and more evidence of that. My kitchen was just leaking water from the ceiling after I took a shower. I can't even shower now until that part of the ceiling is destroyed, inspected, and the pipes (I'm assuming) repaired. I tried helping my mother with the problem -- I tried to explain to her that I can't just stop using the shower, and we must get it fixed ASAP because there is no shower for me to use now. She doesn't see it as a priority. To me, this is the last straw. I cannot live like this. Nobody can life like this.
Adventure
Zen says truth has nothing to do with authority, truth has nothing to do with tradition, truth has nothing to do with the past - truth is a radical, personal realization. You have to come to it.
Knowledge is certain; the search for personal knowing is very, very hazardous. Nobody can guarantee it. If you ask me if I can guarantee anything, I say I cannot guarantee you anything. I can only guarantee danger, that much is certain. I can only guarantee you a long adventure with every possibility of going astray and never reaching the goal. But one thing is certain: the very search will help you to grow.
I can guarantee only growth. Danger will be there, sacrifice will be there; you will be moving every day into the unknown, into the uncharted, and there will be no map to follow, no guide to follow. Yes, there are millions of dangers and you can go astray and you can get lost, but that is the only way one grows.
Insecurity is the only way to grow, to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow.
Osho Dang Dang Doko Dang Chapter 7
Immediate Interpretation:
Once again, we have a 'get the **** out' card. It's not going to be easy, there's going to be challenges, but I have to pack my bags and venture into the unknown. Do I like it? No. I would rather stay within the confines of my relative happiness. I would rather have this slight stability than go to court. I can't kid myself, I have to do this. I don't like, but I have to.
4th, Bottom: What is the method to solve the problem?
Moment to Moment
The past is no more and the future is not yet: both are unnecessarily moving in directions which don't exist. One used to exist, but no longer exists, and one has not even started to exist. The only right person is one who lives moment to moment, whose arrow is directed to the moment, who is always here and now; wherever he is, his whole consciousness, his whole being, is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now. That's the only right direction. Only such a man can enter into the golden gate. The present is the golden gate. Here-now is the golden gate. ...And you can be in the present only if you are not ambitious--no accomplishment, no desire to achieve power, money, prestige, even enlightenment, because all ambition leads you into the future. Only a non-ambitious man can remain in the present. A man who wants to be in the present has not to think, has just to see and enter the gate. Experience will come, but experience has not to be premeditated.
Osho The Great Zen Master Ta Hui Chapter 37
Immediate Interpretation:
I will frankly disagree. My ambition is what drives me. I see his point though; I have to focus on what is troubling me right now. I must do one thing at a time. That is the process I must use to attain my little victories -- to attain the big one.
5th, Top: The Understanding of the whole
Ice-olation
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. What does it mean when I say we are too much in the self? And what exactly happens when we are too much in the self? Either you can be in existence or you can be in the self--both are not possible together. To be in the self means to be apart, to be separate. To be in the self means to become an island. To be in the self means to draw a boundary line around you. To be in the self means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'. The definition, the boundary, between "I" and "not I" is what the self is--the self isolates. And it makes you frozen--you are no longer flowing. If you are flowing the self cannot exist. Hence people have become almost like ice-cubes. They don't have any warmth, they don't have any love--love is warmth and they are afraid of love. If warmth comes to them they will start melting and the boundaries will disappear. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
Osho Zen: The Path of Paradox, Volume 1 Chapter 5
Commentary:
In our society, men in particular have been taught not to cry, to put a brave face on things when they get hurt and not show that they are in pain. But women can fall into this trap too, and all of us at one time or another might feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves. This can make us frozen, rigid, because deep down we know that one small break in the ice will free the hurt to start circulating through us again. The rainbow-colored tears on this person's face hold the key to breaking out of this 'ice-olation'. The tears, and only the tears, have the power to melt the ice. It's okay to cry, and there is no reason to feel ashamed of your tears. Crying helps us to let go of pain, allows us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.
I understand the commentary, but I think that's the worst Zen explanation ever. I think what it's trying to say is don't stop yourself from feeling sad about this issue. Don't 'Take it like a man'. If I do I'm going to hurt myself more. Open up. Allow myself to collapse into sorrow and despair because it's natural and healthy.
What do you think? Do you think I got this down on the button?
Kes