weird disturbing dream

[BrightEye]

There have been a couple actually, one after the other in two successive nights. But the first one is too complex to express in writing.

The one I had last night was like this: I'm going into a hotel room - don't know for what purpose - and I see someone lying on the bed with their throat slit. I didn't look at the scene properly, but I could tell the blood was not red but dark blue or black. I report the murder and have to stay at the hotel for questioning. I'm worried because I'm late for work and can’t tell anyone.

Now the strange part: I’m outside the hotel, waiting around. There are people who are being lined up for the witnesses to choose the possible murder suspect (there is a word for this but I can’t think of it right now). Among them is someone I used to be very fond of but who has not been in my life for quite some time now, and I haven’t thought of her for ages either. Her presence was very vivid in the dream. She is dressed like a man in a dark suit. She is more masculine in the dream than she is in real life. She comes over to me and starts chatting. We go for a walk, and suddenly she becomes very affectionate (not like in real life). She wants to hold my hand. I’m reluctant to let her at first, but eventually I give myself over to her affection, and she not only holds my hand but begins to hug and kiss me too. I’m happy and uncomfortable about that at the same time.

Then I’m in a room with two men. They question me about what I’ve seen. There is a lot of violence accompanying this questioning, mainly threats, and a lot of it is sexual. But every time I’m being threatened I fight back and tell them not to treat me like this. They never get the better of me.

A lot of this puzzles me, so I could do with some thoughts. The only element I recognize is the murder. I’ve dreamt of them many a time, but usually I’m too afraid to face the murder victim. This time it was different. I caught a glimpse. From the previous dreams I have reason to believe that the victim is me.

 

[memries]

The victim is you ? Why blue, black blood ? It seems to me you are surrounded by strange unknowable facts. A person from your past, changed in appearance and intents. The threatening investigators. Not doing what you wanted to do, like going to work.

I don't know why I think this but it seems to me you are not doing what you want to do in life and are in some way sacrificing yourself for something.
You are making yourself or disciplining yourself to be what is not natural within you. I can well remember dreams of this sort when I had such a burden in life to be a good wife, mother, daughter and it was just all too much. The time passed, things changed a bit and the nightmares went away.

Sometimes lives are just too big a load to carry and we get into commitments that are difficult to carry out.

 

[BrightEye]

Thanks memries. Maybe you are right with trying to discipline myself. I guess I do that too often. I didn't really have any genuine desire to go to work, but I felt it to be my duty, and I was losing valuable time to do what I needed to do that day. I think there is something else that wants my attention, and that's why I'm finding it hard to focus on my work. But I'm not sure whether the dream was about that. The interrogation was strange. I was treated as the murderer rather than the witness.

 

[memries]

Well you would be if your are commiting mayhem on yourself. Just a thought you know not sure if that is right or not.

 

[BrightEye]

Well you would be if your are commiting mayhem on yourself. Just a thought you know not sure if that is right or not.

Ok, I guess you're right. Makes sense. I often feel that the work I do puts constraints on my imagination, which leaves me paralysed (like a rabbit in front of headlights). I just drew a card on what the woman's function in the dream was: the Fool! The wild card. I guess it's also the card of the imagination, of following your hunches.

 

[BrightEye]

Th androgynous aspect of the dream is starting to weird me out. I don't know what it is. The more I think about it the more it makes me feel uneasy. This afternoon I all of a sudden I had this urge to find book I had meant to read a while ago and then forgot about. It suddenly popped into my mind. Guess what's on the front cover: a hermaphrodite. Very strange, this.

 

[memries]

If your heart knows what you want and you can figure it out, then you can use your heart and your head..wisdom.. to bring it about. It is the not knowing and tearing yourself apart that is hard. I know from experience.
Buy the book if you want to it may, or may not, have a message but in any case you are following yourself and no one else so that is good.

 

[willowfox]

Perhaps you would be happy if your old self or the way that you are now was killed off giving you the freedom to do something else entirely with your new self.

The bit about you and the other woman suggests sexual frustration in your life, you ain't getting it but you sure won't say no if the chance comes along.

As for the police they treat everyone as a suspect, police are born suspicious, so its par for the course.

 

[BrightEye]

If your heart knows what you want and you can figure it out, then you can use your heart and your head..wisdom.. to bring it about. It is the not knowing and tearing yourself apart that is hard. I know from experience.

You are quite right, it is the not knowing that's hard. I thought I was finally beginning to live a happy life, and on a day to day basis I'm not unhappy. There are small things that frustrate me, but not enough to merit such a dramatic dream.

Buy the book if you want to it may, or may not, have a message but in any case you are following yourself and no one else so that is good.

I borrowed it from the library. It's a good read and seems just what I've been looking for in terms of my work, like the missing link. Whether it has anything to teach me in a personal way remains to be seen.

Perhaps you would be happy if your old self or the way that you are now was killed off giving you the freedom to do something else entirely with your new self.

I don't remember feeling particularly happy, but there could besomething to this.

The bit about you and the other woman suggests sexual frustration in your life, you ain't getting it but you sure won't say no if the chance comes along.

Ahem!! I am not goiung to comment on that on a public forum.

As for the police they treat everyone as a suspect, police are born suspicious, so its par for the course.

Well, I wouldn't know. Haven't had much contact with them so far.

 

[Daizdy]

May I ask, has something happened recently that you felt wasn't pleasant because whatever it was, was semi-public or somehow someone else knows and you'd rather it hadn't been exposed?

The dead body with blue or black blood suggests to me that the murder isn't current. It's old blood...not fresh. Red is such a bold color it suggests to me that whatever has happened is not fresh.

The woman dressed as a man tells me you are putting on a different persona in an attempt to hide what the matter is. Typically, women are more emotional than men are. This is not to say that men cannot be emotional but more times than not most men keep their emotions hidden. It appears you are trying to suppress your emotions concerning some matter or better yet, trying to handle it with logic and reason instead of emotion....the matter your throat was slit over some time back over.

For some reason I feel the matter is trying to surface but since the dream keeps getting sexual (non-emotional) it appears you are trying to deal with it on a surface level.

Does any of this make sense or am I just babbling??